Mixed messages

Went on a first date with a guy I'd met and had been texting daily for a couple of months. Both agreed we enjoyed it and should do it again. He made plans for a second date but we had to cancel after we were both not feeling well. I tried a couple of times to try and rearrange it but he just kept not giving clear answers like "maybe/suppose so" so I stopped asking. Daily texting continued as normal and then after being on a night out last week, he text saying we need to have a second date to see if anything more could happen between us and followed that up with how he thinks something could blossom as its clear we both like each other. Taking that as a good sign, I suggested meeting up on Wednesday (i.e. yesterday) and once again got unclear answers like above and despite continuous texting daily back and forth, he didn't bring it up and so it never happened.

One minute he's interested in a second date and then when I try and make suggestions to arrange it, he doesn't seem interested. I have no idea what to make of it!. Interested, not interested?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Went on a first date with a guy I'd met and had been texting daily for a couple of months. Both agreed we enjoyed it and should do it again. He made plans for a second date but we had to cancel after we were both not feeling well. I tried a couple of times to try and rearrange it but he just kept not giving clear answers like "maybe/suppose so" so I stopped asking. Daily texting continued as normal and then after being on a night out last week, he text saying we need to have a second date to see if anything more could happen between us and followed that up with how he thinks something could blossom as its clear we both like each other. Taking that as a good sign, I suggested meeting up on Wednesday (i.e. yesterday) and once again got unclear answers like above and despite continuous texting daily back and forth, he didn't bring it up and so it never happened.

One minute he's interested in a second date and then when I try and make suggestions to arrange it, he doesn't seem interested. I have no idea what to make of it!. Interested, not interested?

Actually, I know exactly how you feel because this has happened to me!!
With me it was with a friend, and now that we're going out he said to me that he liked me but he deliberately didn't want to seem too obvious.

Based on that, this guy may just not wanna seem desperate, which is why he's being a bit unclear.
As well as this, he probably doesn't have deep feelings for you yet (it might be weird if he did), so isn't really that desperate to arrange dates.

You seem like you had made quite a bit of an effort to talk to him already so he already knows you're interested. I think what might work for you is if you dont text him first, and wait for him to arrange the date, since you've already made your move- it's his turn now. Just carry on texting him back as usual and if he likes you he will eventually ask you out.

Make sure you do actually carry on talking to him though, so he doesn't think you're not interested. The main thing now is just to keep talking to him, but not to act too eager, so say if he texts you after like 2 weeks asking you out, instead of saying "Yeah of course!!" say something like "Sounds good, I'm not sure if I'm busy though, I'll let you know tomorrow".

In this way you're not acting dismissive or "hard to get", but at the same time you wont be chasing him.

He will make an effort to see you if he seriously likes you :smile:

If not, you deserve better!! :biggrin:

Hope this helped :smile:

disclaimer: I'm basing this on my personal and other people's experience, so it's not 100% that this is the right thing to do but this is just what seems to work in my opinion

Reply 2

violetvictorious

8

Ask him straight up: what's with the mixed signals?

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Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by violetvictorious

Ask him straight up: what's with the mixed signals?

Posted from TSR Mobile

We've not actually had much contact via text the last couple of days, compared to normal. Last time we text was yesterday around lunchtime which is unusual. I did text him this morning asking if he'd seen an episode of a tv show and he's not replied so I don't really want to text again. Got to that stage i just give up and think if he doesn't want to talk anymore then that's it really.