I'm 17, he's 29, what should I do?

Recently at work, I've been talking to an older colleague of mine, who I originally thought was only 23/24, and we have been recently flirting and chatting online. Last week he invited me around to his, and we ended up kissing, and he asked me if I wanted to carry it on seriously. But this week I found out that he's married, and am unsure about how to approach him about it and end things, as I don't want to create an awkward environment at work.

How do I proceed?

Reply 1

jakeel1

12

hi ****er, if you dont want your wife to find out about our little arrangement id stay your creepy ass away from me

Reply 2

Changing Skies

22

You need to just be honest and blunt about this, explain to him that you're uncomfortable with the fact he's married. No matter what, things are going to be slightly awkward, you just need to get past that. No idea what the guy is playing at anyway, him being married is bad enough without him going for a 17 year old. :redface:

Reply 3

randdom

20

I would say keep it professional be civil but not overly friendly to him. If he asks why tell him that you know that he has a wife and you would rather he stayed away from you

Reply 4

saayagain

8

Listen. My man has a wife. He is a wasteman. If you want the D, then do your ting but it's long for your relationship. Man is going to be vilified for have a relationship with you.

Reply 5

queen-bee

19

If he's so interested in cheating why he tell the wife so they can end the marriage instead of wantingg to hurt her

Reply 6

riashat

Not worth risking someones marriage tbh, age gap is a bit of a concern, but he married her for a reason.

Reply 7

Wahrheit

18

Original post by Anonymous

Recently at work, I've been talking to an older colleague of mine, who I originally thought was only 23/24, and we have been recently flirting and chatting online. Last week he invited me around to his, and we ended up kissing, and he asked me if I wanted to carry it on seriously. But this week I found out that he's married, and am unsure about how to approach him about it and end things, as I don't want to create an awkward environment at work.

How do I proceed?

It's his choice if he wants to pursue another relationship while he's married (could be separated but not divorced too, quite possible if you were at his and, you know, you didn't see a wife knocking around), you don't know the full circumstances presumably. Ask him about it, maybe he just hadn't got round to telling you. But don't feel like if it ruined his marriage it's your fault; you're not cheating, he is. Actually I know someone who this happened to, almost identical situation except the married couple had children and the 17 year old was living with them because they were homeless or something...

Reply 8

TheTechN1304

21

He's married AND 29? That's wrong on two fronts. Stay away from him.

Reply 9

username1229433

5

Why did you encourage him in the first place?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

LivngForSummer

2

He sounds like a right ****, I would't bother sugar coating it, just tell him to **** off

Reply 11

BreakingRise

2

One of the reasons that such an age gap is wrong is because hell know how to play your heart. Be very very careful. Be firm and if you have any siblings that are trustworthy tell them, as you might need some external advice quickly. 17 is so young and even mature people at the age don't really understand their heart, please don't scar your life and get through this cleanly. Because he seems younger to you than he is, I guess hes quite handsome and caring. Don't be taken in by this and know at uni there are loads of handsome, sensitive, caring people who when they are 29 won't try and cheat on their wives with someone 12 years younger than themselves!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

phunky_fresh

14

Lol he's married, you went to his house... Where was his wife please? Was there no traces of her at his house?

Reply 13

TurtleberrySoup

8

I find it incredibly concerning when an adult goes for a far younger partner, as you are at different stages in life. If you were both 10 years older, it would be fine. But you're likely to be just out of school, whereas he has far more life experience, and likely more financial security. It wouldn't be illegal, but many of my friends that have been in relationships like yours speak about feeling exploited. And he's married? Girl, run! You don't need that drama.