The Student Room Group

Going into the 2nd year with no real friends

Hi everyone!

Ive just finjshed my first year at uni, and I feel like I barely have any proper friends. During the first term before Christmas, I made friends eith some people on my course, and a group of 10 of us formed. (7 girls, 3 boys). This was the first friendship group I have been part of since primary school really- I didn't have many friends in secondary school. I was so happy to finally be part of a group. However, after Christmas, things started to change. No kne fell out or anything, but the group kinda split up a bit, so we rarely went out together and did things anymore. I found myself alone. Everyone seemed to be changing as well, as before christmas thry all seemed quite similar to me, but then they turned all indie and druggy. I have nothing against people like that at all, but it meant that all of a sudden i was being left out of things. They started not inviting me to things, and even all went on holiday together without inviting me. They'll still talk to me, but only if I make the effort and start the conversation first. They'll never start one with me.
Now im going into the second with frake friends and thats it. Ive got a few acquaintances from a sports society I'm a memeber of, but thats all. And the trouble is, they've all got their own friendship groups. One of my flatmates from last year is really nice, but not that similar to me. I still speak to her, but shes not really a close friend. There are other people from my course I havent spoken to much, but again, they're in their own little cliques now, and you don't get to talk much to other people in lectures.
All I want is one or two really close "best friends" who i can rely on always, and also have a wider group of friends. How can I achieve this? How do I make friends with new people in the second year when they've already got their own friends? Please help me!
Thanks i advance :smile:
Reply 1
Anyone?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone!

Ive just finjshed my first year at uni, and I feel like I barely have any proper friends. During the first term before Christmas, I made friends eith some people on my course, and a group of 10 of us formed. (7 girls, 3 boys). This was the first friendship group I have been part of since primary school really- I didn't have many friends in secondary school. I was so happy to finally be part of a group. However, after Christmas, things started to change. No kne fell out or anything, but the group kinda split up a bit, so we rarely went out together and did things anymore. I found myself alone. Everyone seemed to be changing as well, as before christmas thry all seemed quite similar to me, but then they turned all indie and druggy. I have nothing against people like that at all, but it meant that all of a sudden i was being left out of things. They started not inviting me to things, and even all went on holiday together without inviting me. They'll still talk to me, but only if I make the effort and start the conversation first. They'll never start one with me.
Now im going into the second with frake friends and thats it. Ive got a few acquaintances from a sports society I'm a memeber of, but thats all. And the trouble is, they've all got their own friendship groups. One of my flatmates from last year is really nice, but not that similar to me. I still speak to her, but shes not really a close friend. There are other people from my course I havent spoken to much, but again, they're in their own little cliques now, and you don't get to talk much to other people in lectures.
All I want is one or two really close "best friends" who i can rely on always, and also have a wider group of friends. How can I achieve this? How do I make friends with new people in the second year when they've already got their own friends? Please help me!
Thanks i advance :smile:


What uni is it? (Pm me if you dont wana reveal it in public)

I would say just continue to be openly friendly with everyone in your course and through other friend groups e.g. societies etc it takes time to find good reliable friends so don't rush it....it will come with time its better to have 2 or 3 really close reliable friends than have 10 friends who arent even concerned about your wellbeing except for when it time to go to party or clubbing those arent good friends :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 3
Original post by trapking
What uni is it? (Pm me if you dont wana reveal it in public)

I would say just continue to be openly friendly with everyone in your course and through other friend groups e.g. societies etc it takes time to find good reliable friends so don't rush it....it will come with time its better to have 2 or 3 really close reliable friends than have 10 friends who arent even concerned about your wellbeing except for when it time to go to party or clubbing those arent good friends :smile:


UWE. Are you at uni? Thanks for replying, hopefully things will get better. I agree, I've kinda realised that now. I sometimes don't know what to talk to people about though, like the whole "how are you?" and "how did you find the lecture?" stuff bores people I think a little, how do you keep the conversation up after that, or start more interesting conversations? Sorry for the questions, but I'm not that confident socially
Original post by Anonymous
UWE. Are you at uni? Thanks for replying, hopefully things will get better. I agree, I've kinda realised that now. I sometimes don't know what to talk to people about though, like the whole "how are you?" and "how did you find the lecture?" stuff bores people I think a little, how do you keep the conversation up after that, or start more interesting conversations? Sorry for the questions, but I'm not that confident socially


Yeah I am. You could just use that as a starter i.e. this lecture is boring isn't it? How are you? I'm X nice to meet you...and then progress from there to what they are doing afterwards....try to invite them over to your accommodation or propose something fun to do. As long as youre openly friendly you will make friends so i wouldn't worry about it too much :smile:

Are you male or female?
Reply 5
Original post by trapking
Yeah I am. You could just use that as a starter i.e. this lecture is boring isn't it? How are you? I'm X nice to meet you...and then progress from there to what they are doing afterwards....try to invite them over to your accommodation or propose something fun to do. As long as youre openly friendly you will make friends so i wouldn't worry about it too much :smile:

Are you male or female?


I'll try that then :smile: Hopefully people will be willing to come out of their own cliques that have formed this year. Female. My course is roughly eben split between male and females
Really hope things work out for you! :smile:

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Reply 7
You might meet people in your new lectures & seminars, I always met people on my course that I hadn't seen before!Maybe even try and join a few other societies or clubs, especially as a new year is starting which means new students. You might meet people in the year below you but that won't matter if you get on with them.Give this new term a chance, you never know!:smile:

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