Feeling a bit lost/lacking direction going into 2nd year of uni
Just finished my first year at Reading Uni and while it did have good moments, on the whole I found it tough to make a strong group of friends and I applied to return to halls individually for next year. Hopefully will get a better bunch of new flatmates, but I’ve generally being feeling lonely, frustrated and lost during the year. Struggled to find my kind of people or things to do, eg with societies I tried some out but just drifted away from them. Didn’t really feel clubbing was for me but at the same time didn’t have much friends to go
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
Just finished my first year at Reading Uni and while it did have good moments, on the whole I found it tough to make a strong group of friends and I applied to return to halls individually for next year. Hopefully will get a better bunch of new flatmates, but I’ve generally being feeling lonely, frustrated and lost during the year. Struggled to find my kind of people or things to do, eg with societies I tried some out but just drifted away from them. Didn’t really feel clubbing was for me but at the same time didn’t have much friends to go
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Hey, @Anonymous I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time with your transition to studying at university and living in the UK. Especially for international students, it isn't always easy as you're adapting to a new place and new people. Don't be afraid to try new things on your own for a little while; try not to isolate yourself too much as it will make you disconnect from your university experience. I do hope that you're able to meet some new people in your halls that you get along better with. When you do move back into your accommodation, try to initiate plans with newfound friends, try to get to know them and give it some time. Maybe try to revisit some of the societies you might have enjoyed, giving it ago might help you to look at them from a different perspective, try to keep an open mind and connect with people you meet there. Also, a great place to look for things to do is Eventbrite- there's always something happening. Find events you're interested in and find your people. Seek out the communities you feel match your values, I can guarantee you, there are people just like you who may even feel the same. It's just a case of finding them and keeping an open mind. Check out the BYP Network in Reading, they seem to be having an upcoming event soon. If you're into the gym, try that out as well and find like-minded people like yourself. Try to also connect with the people on your course that you feel comfortable with - see if you have any common interests in sports, arts etc and make some plans to go to a gallery, watch a movie, do an activity etc.
I hope this helps, Wishing you all the best!
Ravenbsourne University London
Almasi
Anon,
Sometimes you meet people and you are instantly friends : ) It's as if you've known them for ages and it's great, but other times friendship doesn't work like this. I think most of the time friendship doesn't work like this. Sometimes, it takes a long time to build a friendship and for people who are friends to become good friends.
It's great that you have had some good moments this year and that you have got to know some people. Maybe some of these friendships will become even stronger next year? Are you planning to meet up with some of them over the summer? Is there something you could organise or suggest? A picnic, BBQ, bowling or even a trip somewhere, maybe to the beach or a city you are interested in visiting? Trying to keep these friendships alive over the summer is one way you could start the second year well.
You could also contact the international office at your university. Are their activities they have on over the summer or socials they run during the academic year that you might not be aware of? Are there other international students who they might be able to put you in contact with who are looking for people to be friends with?
It's good you have recognised that you spent too much time on your own during the first year. It's easy to feel more lonely and down when your not seeing or talking to people much, so do try to get out, even if it's just going to the library or visiting a café or coffee shop. It's good to be around people and you never know who might become a friend.
You could also try new societies in the autumn.
I have heard it said that it takes three years before you feel settled in a new place. The point is that it takes time, but the more you get to know people, the more you spend time together, talking, going to places etc then the quicker those friendships will become strong.
Don't lose heart!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Sometimes you meet people and you are instantly friends : ) It's as if you've known them for ages and it's great, but other times friendship doesn't work like this. I think most of the time friendship doesn't work like this. Sometimes, it takes a long time to build a friendship and for people who are friends to become good friends.
It's great that you have had some good moments this year and that you have got to know some people. Maybe some of these friendships will become even stronger next year? Are you planning to meet up with some of them over the summer? Is there something you could organise or suggest? A picnic, BBQ, bowling or even a trip somewhere, maybe to the beach or a city you are interested in visiting? Trying to keep these friendships alive over the summer is one way you could start the second year well.
You could also contact the international office at your university. Are their activities they have on over the summer or socials they run during the academic year that you might not be aware of? Are there other international students who they might be able to put you in contact with who are looking for people to be friends with?
It's good you have recognised that you spent too much time on your own during the first year. It's easy to feel more lonely and down when your not seeing or talking to people much, so do try to get out, even if it's just going to the library or visiting a café or coffee shop. It's good to be around people and you never know who might become a friend.
You could also try new societies in the autumn.
I have heard it said that it takes three years before you feel settled in a new place. The point is that it takes time, but the more you get to know people, the more you spend time together, talking, going to places etc then the quicker those friendships will become strong.
Don't lose heart!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
Just finished my first year at Reading Uni and while it did have good moments, on the whole I found it tough to make a strong group of friends and I applied to return to halls individually for next year. Hopefully will get a better bunch of new flatmates, but I’ve generally being feeling lonely, frustrated and lost during the year. Struggled to find my kind of people or things to do, eg with societies I tried some out but just drifted away from them. Didn’t really feel clubbing was for me but at the same time didn’t have much friends to go
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Hey @Anonymous
So sorry to hear you've not had a great first year. Moving into halls for the first time at university can be really difficult and it can be a challenge to find your 'people' when you're in a new place, but well done for getting through it!!
I'm sure second year will bring a whole new group of people who you may find you get on with better, so please don't give up hope just yet. My advice would be to keep being yourself and doing things that interest you, and naturally in those circles, you will find people who are more similar to you. What kind of interests do you have?
I know we also have an International Society, and something called 'Small World Cafe' which is run primarily for international students (but I've been myself a couple of times!) by the Christian Union, and there are a lot of other international students who go along to that every week, including a lot of people from places like Kenya, which may interest you. It welcomes people from all backgrounds and faiths, and is basically just a themed night of games and activities every Friday evening, which is super fun and everyone there has been sooo welcoming every time I've been, so that could perhaps be a place to start if you wanted to try something new in the new year.
It definitely takes time to settle in a new place with new people though, so don't be disheartened that you don't feel like you've found your place yet. I know I wasn't 100% comfortable in my first year either as I couldn't meet many people due to covid and I wasn't really into the same things as my flatmates, but I definitely found my feet in 2nd and 3rd year, so don't give up!
If you have any specific questions, please let us know - hope this is kind of helpful!
You've got this!! Second year will be better, I'm sure.
Skye
3rd Year Speech and Language Therapy Student
Original post by UniofReading
Hey @Anonymous
So sorry to hear you've not had a great first year. Moving into halls for the first time at university can be really difficult and it can be a challenge to find your 'people' when you're in a new place, but well done for getting through it!!
I'm sure second year will bring a whole new group of people who you may find you get on with better, so please don't give up hope just yet. My advice would be to keep being yourself and doing things that interest you, and naturally in those circles, you will find people who are more similar to you. What kind of interests do you have?
I know we also have an International Society, and something called 'Small World Cafe' which is run primarily for international students (but I've been myself a couple of times!) by the Christian Union, and there are a lot of other international students who go along to that every week, including a lot of people from places like Kenya, which may interest you. It welcomes people from all backgrounds and faiths, and is basically just a themed night of games and activities every Friday evening, which is super fun and everyone there has been sooo welcoming every time I've been, so that could perhaps be a place to start if you wanted to try something new in the new year.
It definitely takes time to settle in a new place with new people though, so don't be disheartened that you don't feel like you've found your place yet. I know I wasn't 100% comfortable in my first year either as I couldn't meet many people due to covid and I wasn't really into the same things as my flatmates, but I definitely found my feet in 2nd and 3rd year, so don't give up!
If you have any specific questions, please let us know - hope this is kind of helpful!
You've got this!! Second year will be better, I'm sure.
Skye
3rd Year Speech and Language Therapy Student
So sorry to hear you've not had a great first year. Moving into halls for the first time at university can be really difficult and it can be a challenge to find your 'people' when you're in a new place, but well done for getting through it!!
I'm sure second year will bring a whole new group of people who you may find you get on with better, so please don't give up hope just yet. My advice would be to keep being yourself and doing things that interest you, and naturally in those circles, you will find people who are more similar to you. What kind of interests do you have?
I know we also have an International Society, and something called 'Small World Cafe' which is run primarily for international students (but I've been myself a couple of times!) by the Christian Union, and there are a lot of other international students who go along to that every week, including a lot of people from places like Kenya, which may interest you. It welcomes people from all backgrounds and faiths, and is basically just a themed night of games and activities every Friday evening, which is super fun and everyone there has been sooo welcoming every time I've been, so that could perhaps be a place to start if you wanted to try something new in the new year.
It definitely takes time to settle in a new place with new people though, so don't be disheartened that you don't feel like you've found your place yet. I know I wasn't 100% comfortable in my first year either as I couldn't meet many people due to covid and I wasn't really into the same things as my flatmates, but I definitely found my feet in 2nd and 3rd year, so don't give up!
If you have any specific questions, please let us know - hope this is kind of helpful!
You've got this!! Second year will be better, I'm sure.
Skye
3rd Year Speech and Language Therapy Student
Thanks for the advice. Hopefully I’ll be able to look into more societies and make more of an effort to attend them regularly. Thanks for the info on the international society as I didn’t attend it that frequently last year.
I wanted to know is it normal for people to choose to return to halls for second year and get all new flatmates? As I’m not sure how many people do that or if it’s a weird thing to do. I know some people who are returning to halls but with friends and others who are going off campus so wanted to know how common my choice to be in halls again individually actually is and if it’s a good idea or not. The accommodation team told me they would typically try put me in a flat with other returning students. Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice. Hopefully I’ll be able to look into more societies and make more of an effort to attend them regularly. Thanks for the info on the international society as I didn’t attend it that frequently last year.
I wanted to know is it normal for people to choose to return to halls for second year and get all new flatmates? As I’m not sure how many people do that or if it’s a weird thing to do. I know some people who are returning to halls but with friends and others who are going off campus so wanted to know how common my choice to be in halls again individually actually is and if it’s a good idea or not. The accommodation team told me they would typically try put me in a flat with other returning students. Thanks
I wanted to know is it normal for people to choose to return to halls for second year and get all new flatmates? As I’m not sure how many people do that or if it’s a weird thing to do. I know some people who are returning to halls but with friends and others who are going off campus so wanted to know how common my choice to be in halls again individually actually is and if it’s a good idea or not. The accommodation team told me they would typically try put me in a flat with other returning students. Thanks
Hey!
No worries at all - I get that it can be tricky, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. I'm sure things will work out when you least expect it - just be yourself is the main thing!
Lots of people return to halls in second year - I know a few people who did when I was in 2nd year and even last year too and they found it to be a much more positive experience. Regardless of if you are put with people who know each other or not, chances are they will still be friendly and eager to make new friends, and more often than not, they are pairs of people rather than big groups, so the rest of the flat will be new too, so it's absolutely not weird at all. One of my friends actually did that this year (3rd year) and has gotten along really well with her new flatmates, and just because they are returning students, doesn't mean they will know anyone either, so you may find you are all in a similiar position (and that could be a great icebreaker/first shared experience to talk about!).
I'm sure this year will be different to last year, especially as you now know what to expect from halls and have settled a bit more into the university routine, you may find it easier to do the things you enjoy and meet new people, as well as spend more time getting to know your flatmates. And if for some reason it's not what you hoped, there is support there for you and you can reach out to the accommodation team who can move you or you can get some additional advice and support from our wellbeing teams.
Hope this helps!
Skye
3rd Year Speech and Language Therapy Student
Original post by Anonymous
Just finished my first year at Reading Uni and while it did have good moments, on the whole I found it tough to make a strong group of friends and I applied to return to halls individually for next year. Hopefully will get a better bunch of new flatmates, but I’ve generally being feeling lonely, frustrated and lost during the year. Struggled to find my kind of people or things to do, eg with societies I tried some out but just drifted away from them. Didn’t really feel clubbing was for me but at the same time didn’t have much friends to go
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
with so didn’t get much experience with that either and just ended up being trapped with my thoughts in my room a lot of the time. Also im an international student from Kenya so it’s hard to find a real sense of belonging here. Any advice to make my second year more meaningful/enjoyable would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Hiya!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve struggled to settle in how you’d like during your first year. Starting university can be challenging especially when you’re so far from home!
One of my good friends had a similar experience to you and moving home in the second year helped her make friends that she better connected with. I hope this helps you too! Remember not everyone makes friends straight away and we all have our own timeline for finding our place at uni.
It’s great that you’ve tried some of the societies but I know they’re not from everyone. Have you considered looking outside what the university has to offer? Maybe your local town/city has something to offer that’s better suited to you!
Don’t give up hope just yet and don’t suffer in silence. ARU has a mental health and well-being team, does your university offer something similar? Maybe you could reach out to them and get some support. They might be able to support you to find your place.
All the best for the second year!
Sophie (ARU)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Student Finance Query (SFW)
- Feeling a bit lost
- No References
- Uni of Greenwich well-being experience?
- Edinburgh Direct Entry to Second Year
- My daughter has lost her passion in her A Level Subjects
- Where did it all go wrong? (Straight A*s to uni dropout)
- I’ve had a horrible time at sixth form
- anti-social flatmate
- Missing lectures in 3rd year due to commuting?
- Uni and gap year uncertainty
- Am I wrong to think this way?
- Need some help.
- Crush moving on to Uni
- Was I overambitious? Getting high marks in a social science degree (Philosophy)
- My A level grades still effect my mental health after 4 years.
- Student nurse who is struggling immensely.
- Stuck and behind in life
- Can I apply to Pharmacy/pharmacology without A-Level Biology?
- regretting getting a house
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
