People say that I say childish things, but how?

When im discussing something people often say that what Ive said is 'childish' but i dont see how myself. For example I was discussing with a boyfriend who is quite a bit okder than me, about kissing. I dont like kissing that much and he said 'its natual for humans to'. I said 'not neccasarily it might be natural or could be a social thing that humans made up since not all cultures kiss'. He said 'rubbish, all cultures kiss just in different ways' I said ' animals dont kiss so it might not be that natural'. He said ' thats just childish thats something a 12 year old would say'. I said ' hows it childish' he said 'lots of stuff is childish you say you just go off topicon a tangent about things'. What i said was probably wrong or even daft but i dont see how its childish :/

Another example is my boyfriend is going in hospital on thursday for an operstion in his knee and he has to be there for 7 am, he doesnt drive so i think wants me to drop him off which i can as im only in uni at 9.00am. I was telling my mum and she said 'theres no way you can do that the hospital is in the opposite direction to uni and you'l be stuck in all thr motorway traffic'. I said 'theres no buses up there really' she said 'well he'l have to get a taxi' and started raising her voice. I dont know why but i thought about my dad and how my mum bends over backwards for him so I said ' well what would you do in my position if it was dad, he never gets taxi's anywhere'. She said 'dint be so childish thats a childish comment' I said 'why its someone you care about im just trying to get you to put hourself in my position'. She said 'comparing him to your dad is very childish its got nothing to do with your dad'. I said 'so hows it childish then what i said'. She started raising her voice and said 'im not arguing'.

So just thought id ask on here lol what makes the things that i say childish? Im not saying im right in what i say i just like discussing things with people but dont want to sound childish.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

anyone

Reply 2

username1623349

13

Yes I see what you mean, you are acting immature. You and your boyfriend is nothing like your mum and dad - they've been together for (presumably) over 19 years and I highly doubt you've been with your boyfriend that long, so they aren't really comparably.

And kissing is a natural part of a human relationship, yes not all animals kiss but we are not the same as every animal in the world eg. we do not rip off males' heads after mating. I think you're a bit immature

Reply 3

Hevachan

15

Perhaps it's the way you say it? If you have a childish persona then any time you try to be serious people will just dismiss it. I don't think what you said about kissing is childish. But I think your mum probably thought the taxi thing was as she doesn't see your boyfriend as someone that important (you aren't married or engaged)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by georgiaswift

Yes I see what you mean, you are acting immature. You and your boyfriend is nothing like your mum and dad - they've been together for (presumably) over 19 years and I highly doubt you've been with your boyfriend that long, so they aren't really comparably.

And kissing is a natural part of a human relationship, yes not all animals kiss but we are not the same as every animal in the world eg. we do not rip off males' heads after mating. I think you're a bit immature

What I meant was if she was in my position and someone she cared about ie my dad had to go in hospital what would she do, since the boyfriend is someone I care about. I might be 'wrong' in daring to make the comparison but I just can't see how it is childish. After all she was the one with the raised voice I was talking quietly trying to discuss. If I'd have mentioned a friend of hers rather than my dad would this have been less childish?

With the kissing my boyfriend was saying it's unnatural for me not to like it and that it's instinct, I was basically saying that it's not neccasarily instinct and could be something social rather than innate since animals don't do it. In psychology when discussing nature/nurture they often bring animals into the discussion so I don't know is psychology childish then? Again I might be wrong in what I say because of the comparisons I make etc but how does it resemble a child and make me immature?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Hevachan

Perhaps it's the way you say it? If you have a childish persona then any time you try to be serious people will just dismiss it. I don't think what you said about kissing is childish. But I think your mum probably thought the taxi thing was as she doesn't see your boyfriend as someone that important (you aren't married or engaged)

I guess she thought that, but that's why I asked her what she would do if it was someone who she cared about to try and make her see, I just thought it was a bit tight letting him get a taxi/go on his own as his mum died 3 months ago and she would probably have been the one to look after/check up on him etc. I think I do have a childish persona but yea I'm trying to get to the bottom of why my comments are deemed because if I can't see what is childish about what I say then I can't really 'improve' myself lol.

Reply 6

Nerol

21

Have you considered it might be their problem, not yours? Some people will use personal comments to win an argument or to get their own way. Your boyfriend wanted you to admit it was weird that maybe you don't like kissing him, probably to soothe his ego, and your mum maybe wanted you to not let your boyfriend take you for granted and use you as a taxi service (just a guess, I don't know their motives). Having a personal dig at someone is usually a last resort way to win an argument and make the other person think their own arguments are inferior.

I'm just saying, it might not be that you are childish, and could be others making you feel that way.

People say that I say childish things, but how?

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