People who "fall in love" easily and quickly
My now ex gf (21yro) had a self-professed propensity to fall in love hard and very quickly. After a fairly relaxed 2 months of "seeing" one another, we became involved in an official relationship. Very quickly she seemed to develop strong feelings for me, or at least claimed to feel such. "Soulmate", discussions of our future, a reluctance to abort a child we might acciedentally conceive, talk of moving to Australia together etc. According to a friend of hers, she spoke of me and our relationship in such terms to them also, so seems to have believed it herself.
In spite of this, after just 2 weeks of uni, she got together with another guy, telling me that she was considering dating him. Obviously, I was at a loss.
I knew that she had had a complicated family history - her father leaving at a young age - and was prone to dramatic behaviour. I also knew that she had been with about 12 guys before me (by age 20), with one of my friends telling me that she was "crazy" and "burned through boyfriends".
So it's left me wondering,is she just the kind of girl who develops infatuations which can fade very quickly? Whilst I don't believe that I was in love with her (I think that takes a great deal of time), I certainly cared for her very deeply and could not have ended things, let alone found myself considering a new partner for a great deal of time afterwards. I'm a fairly level headed guy, and older at 24yrs, so perhaps it's a maturity thing. Has anyone encountered this? And what does it say about the person? I find myself wondering whether I was simply fulfilling a need for her, and whether it was never a reflection upon me...
In spite of this, after just 2 weeks of uni, she got together with another guy, telling me that she was considering dating him. Obviously, I was at a loss.
I knew that she had had a complicated family history - her father leaving at a young age - and was prone to dramatic behaviour. I also knew that she had been with about 12 guys before me (by age 20), with one of my friends telling me that she was "crazy" and "burned through boyfriends".
So it's left me wondering,is she just the kind of girl who develops infatuations which can fade very quickly? Whilst I don't believe that I was in love with her (I think that takes a great deal of time), I certainly cared for her very deeply and could not have ended things, let alone found myself considering a new partner for a great deal of time afterwards. I'm a fairly level headed guy, and older at 24yrs, so perhaps it's a maturity thing. Has anyone encountered this? And what does it say about the person? I find myself wondering whether I was simply fulfilling a need for her, and whether it was never a reflection upon me...
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So did you break up or did she cheat on you with this other guy?
It does seem like she falls for people quickly but she might be just immature for her age.
It does seem like she falls for people quickly but she might be just immature for her age.
Original post by Anonymous
My now ex gf (21yro) had a self-professed propensity to fall in love hard and very quickly. After a fairly relaxed 2 months of "seeing" one another, we became involved in an official relationship. Very quickly she seemed to develop strong feelings for me, or at least claimed to feel such. "Soulmate", discussions of our future, a reluctance to abort a child we might acciedentally conceive, talk of moving to Australia together etc. According to a friend of hers, she spoke of me and our relationship in such terms to them also, so seems to have believed it herself.
In spite of this, after just 2 weeks of uni, she got together with another guy, telling me that she was considering dating him. Obviously, I was at a loss.
I knew that she had had a complicated family history - her father leaving at a young age - and was prone to dramatic behaviour. I also knew that she had been with about 12 guys before me (by age 20), with one of my friends telling me that she was "crazy" and "burned through boyfriends".
So it's left me wondering,is she just the kind of girl who develops infatuations which can fade very quickly? Whilst I don't believe that I was in love with her (I think that takes a great deal of time), I certainly cared for her very deeply and could not have ended things, let alone found myself considering a new partner for a great deal of time afterwards. I'm a fairly level headed guy, and older at 24yrs, so perhaps it's a maturity thing. Has anyone encountered this? And what does it say about the person? I find myself wondering whether I was simply fulfilling a need for her, and whether it was never a reflection upon me...
In spite of this, after just 2 weeks of uni, she got together with another guy, telling me that she was considering dating him. Obviously, I was at a loss.
I knew that she had had a complicated family history - her father leaving at a young age - and was prone to dramatic behaviour. I also knew that she had been with about 12 guys before me (by age 20), with one of my friends telling me that she was "crazy" and "burned through boyfriends".
So it's left me wondering,is she just the kind of girl who develops infatuations which can fade very quickly? Whilst I don't believe that I was in love with her (I think that takes a great deal of time), I certainly cared for her very deeply and could not have ended things, let alone found myself considering a new partner for a great deal of time afterwards. I'm a fairly level headed guy, and older at 24yrs, so perhaps it's a maturity thing. Has anyone encountered this? And what does it say about the person? I find myself wondering whether I was simply fulfilling a need for her, and whether it was never a reflection upon me...
You used the wrong hole buddy.
so why did you think you were gonna be any different to her?? xD she just burned through you too...
i'm pretty sure this is rubbish... we have a word for these kinds of people, sloots
Original post by thefatone
You used the wrong hole buddy.
so why did you think you were gonna be any different to her?? xD she just burned through you too...
i'm pretty sure this is rubbish... we have a word for these kinds of people, sloots
so why did you think you were gonna be any different to her?? xD she just burned through you too...
i'm pretty sure this is rubbish... we have a word for these kinds of people, sloots
Wrong hole?
Original post by ODES_PDES
Wrong hole?
yes if you don't want pregnancies use the other hole
Original post by thefatone
yes if you don't want pregnancies use the other hole
Sounds like she's used to it anyway.
She gets infatuated by the first guy she likes (or makes a move on her), pathologically incapable of long term commitment. Avoid like the plague.
Original post by bethwalker85
So did you break up or did she cheat on you with this other guy?
It does seem like she falls for people quickly but she might be just immature for her age.
It does seem like she falls for people quickly but she might be just immature for her age.
I don't know if she slept with him, but 2 weeks in we had organised for me to drive 4 hours from my uni to hers to see her. Basically as I stepped out of the door I sent a message to confirm. She replied saying she wasn't available that night so come tomorrow.
The next day, I arrived at her uni, only for her to sit there messaging him in front of me for the entire evening (although I was unaware at the time). She later confessed that she had gone home with him, slept in his bed "cuddling with clothes on" and completely forgotten about my visit (so didn't let me know not to come).
I don't know what really happened but, inevitably, I found it hard to believe her - she had cheated on the guy before me (her first love of 2 years), was seemingly very enthused by his messaging and then started seeking counselling about the way she interacts with guys so..
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know if she slept with him, but 2 weeks in we had organised for me to drive 4 hours from my uni to hers to see her. Basically as I stepped out of the door I sent a message to confirm. She replied saying she wasn't available that night so come tomorrow.
The next day, I arrived at her uni, only for her to sit there messaging him in front of me for the entire evening (although I was unaware at the time). She later confessed that she had gone home with him, slept in his bed "cuddling with clothes on" and completely forgotten about my visit (so didn't let me know not to come).
I don't know what really happened but, inevitably, I found it hard to believe her - she had cheated on the guy before me (her first love of 2 years), was seemingly very enthused by his messaging and then started seeking counselling about the way she interacts with guys so..
The next day, I arrived at her uni, only for her to sit there messaging him in front of me for the entire evening (although I was unaware at the time). She later confessed that she had gone home with him, slept in his bed "cuddling with clothes on" and completely forgotten about my visit (so didn't let me know not to come).
I don't know what really happened but, inevitably, I found it hard to believe her - she had cheated on the guy before me (her first love of 2 years), was seemingly very enthused by his messaging and then started seeking counselling about the way she interacts with guys so..
Psychopath.
Doesn't seem like she's worth the trouble tbh
As you have already mentioned, I don't believe that she's prone to falling in love with people easily, even if she believes it herself. I think that she just becomes infatuated with people very easily and quickly. I only say that because I used to be guilty of this myself, although I was no where near this extreme. Regardless, for some people it is very easy to mistake love for a simple, transient period of infatuation.
It could be for many reasons although I would say that it usually boils down to a severe emotional dependancy, and a constant need to be wanted by someone. It may also be caused by a form of denial on her part whereby she has convinced herself that you are 'the one' for her, regardless of any flaws that she may have unwittingly overlooked in the early stages of the relationship. Some people are so emotionally dependant and in need of reaffirmation because of a lack of confidence deep down that they survive purely through their relationships with other people.. and it's about as psychologically healthy as it sounds.
It could be for many reasons although I would say that it usually boils down to a severe emotional dependancy, and a constant need to be wanted by someone. It may also be caused by a form of denial on her part whereby she has convinced herself that you are 'the one' for her, regardless of any flaws that she may have unwittingly overlooked in the early stages of the relationship. Some people are so emotionally dependant and in need of reaffirmation because of a lack of confidence deep down that they survive purely through their relationships with other people.. and it's about as psychologically healthy as it sounds.
you poor thing. there are women like this around, but you will know how to avoid them now. rest assured this experience will only make you stronger and more wary, so when somebody truly special (not this fast and fake type you've experienced and she will never experience anything more then), you will recognise and appreciate her. if anything, feel sorry for her, because her emotional world is so confused and in ruins that I doubt she even has the capacity to experience a fulfilling and loving relationship. the world will forget about her quickly, as quickly as she forgets about her lovers. stay strong and time heals all wounds.
Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob
Sounds like she's used to it anyway.
She gets infatuated by the first guy she likes (or makes a move on her), pathologically incapable of long term commitment. Avoid like the plague.
She gets infatuated by the first guy she likes (or makes a move on her), pathologically incapable of long term commitment. Avoid like the plague.
yup she'd only looking for that d
She sounds very self-centred and arrogant displayed by treating you with complete contempt. Immaturity is no excuse for downright insulting and offensive behaviour.
Grow some balls, cut your losses (not much of a loss) and dump her NOW. You know very well that it's only a matter of time (sooner than later) when she will do something that ends your relationship (if you can call it that).
Face the facts, she will use you for as long as it suits her. Hoping she might change put's your life on hold, eats into your own self-esteem and just procrastinates the inevitable.
There are plenty of other far, far, more worthy people for you. respect yourself and go find them.
Good luck.
Grow some balls, cut your losses (not much of a loss) and dump her NOW. You know very well that it's only a matter of time (sooner than later) when she will do something that ends your relationship (if you can call it that).
Face the facts, she will use you for as long as it suits her. Hoping she might change put's your life on hold, eats into your own self-esteem and just procrastinates the inevitable.
There are plenty of other far, far, more worthy people for you. respect yourself and go find them.
Good luck.
People who fall in love quickly tend to be quite unhappy inside so they latch onto someone who validates them witha burning intensity. the problem with passion is that its fades quickly and if there is nothing left to replace the relationship will as welll.
In your case though, stay well clear
In your case though, stay well clear
Original post by uberteknik
She sounds very self-centred and arrogant displayed by treating you with complete contempt. Immaturity is no excuse for downright insulting and offensive behaviour.
Grow some balls, cut your losses (not much of a loss) and dump her NOW. You know very well that it's only a matter of time (sooner than later) when she will do something that ends your relationship (if you can call it that).
Face the facts, she will use you for as long as it suits her. Hoping she might change put's your life on hold, eats into your own self-esteem and just procrastinates the inevitable.
There are plenty of other far, far, more worthy people for you. respect yourself and go find them.
Good luck.
Grow some balls, cut your losses (not much of a loss) and dump her NOW. You know very well that it's only a matter of time (sooner than later) when she will do something that ends your relationship (if you can call it that).
Face the facts, she will use you for as long as it suits her. Hoping she might change put's your life on hold, eats into your own self-esteem and just procrastinates the inevitable.
There are plenty of other far, far, more worthy people for you. respect yourself and go find them.
Good luck.
I suppose it has already hammered my self-esteem to rather an extent - I have major depression (which she was aware of) so I am prone to such a response.
It has left me wondering whether she will always be like this or whether it is the result of a desire for male attention, imaturity, big life change with uni (lots of people cheat) etc - obviouly not excusing her behaviour. It's just this conviction that she will be better for the next guy.
Another confusing aspect is this - she is now with someone else, in a relationship, yet continues to try to connect with me through messages etc whenever things are going badly with them, and even when they are going well on occasion. Perhaps this is for attention... but last time we spoke, she told me that she is being chased by numerous guys at uni - so why seek attention from an ex and not one of these?
Original post by silverbolt
People who fall in love quickly tend to be quite unhappy inside so they latch onto someone who validates them witha burning intensity. the problem with passion is that its fades quickly and if there is nothing left to replace the relationship will as welll.
In your case though, stay well clear
In your case though, stay well clear
Do you think it was just passion then? And there was nothing underlying? Does this imply that I was not suitable for her and that another guy may well be, thus preventing such behaviour on her part in the future?
I personally view this people as not being capable of having healthy relationships. What good is someone who moves from one person to the next to the next because they "fall in love (read: get infatuated) easily? I know and have experienced people who just drop their partners with a click of their fingers because they suddenly become interested in someone else. These people aren't long-term relationship material, not until they get over whatever issues they have they prevent them from staying in committed relationships. What's worse is when these people "fast-forward" their new relationship and act as if they've been together a lifetime.
As someone pointed out; these people latch onto others for protection from their own insecurities. They don't take the time solo to learn and grow as individuals.
As someone pointed out; these people latch onto others for protection from their own insecurities. They don't take the time solo to learn and grow as individuals.
I have wondered whether her leaving me was due to me, or due to her being in a new environment away from hme for the first time, full of good looking people, and beset by low self-esteem, a need to fit in etc. hence latching on to someone new. What do you think?
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