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Dating a guy whos mother has cancer...wrong to date others given the situation?

So I met this guy 5 months ago on a night out straight after he came out of a 5 year relationship.

I started dating someone for 2 months and during the time we kept in touch a lot but never saw each other during that time until I was fully single again.
We both have hectic work schedules and sometimes its just nice to chill at home - I invited him over mine and cooked a nice dinner, we then ended up having sex.
We then hooked up 3 times more during the course of a month or so.

He then decided to give things another go with his ex and contact went sparse.
I know that he was just trying to do the right thing with her and trying to stand by her as her mum has cancer - they have a long history and lots of mutual friends and a house together.

About 3 weeks he broke it off. He loves her, but isn't in love (they don't even kiss!)

Ive seen him twice during the 3 weeks, both hook-ups. I think its a bit more than friends with benefits and we both agree on this, but his schedule is too busy with work right now and I know his telling the truth and eventually we will find the time to go on a proper date.

....... today I found out that HIS mother now has cancer. He said that he didn't want me to date anyone else and today I said that I didn't wanted to be there for him during this time and wont be dating anyone else.

Were not in a relationship though and I don't know if he's a guy I want to be with in the long run but we call every day and hes become a good friend and I do really like him but im not ready to commit.

Is it ok if I keep on dating secretly? What doesn't know, doesn't harm right?

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 1

Kvothe the Arcane

He has no hold over you if you are broken up, whatever his circumstances may be.

If you are friends, I'd urge you to be honest.

Reply 2

999tigger

Original post by daisy136

....... today I found out that HIS mother now has cancer. He said that he didn't want me to date anyone else and today I said that I didn't wanted to be there for him during this time and wont be dating anyone else.

Were not in a relationship though and I don't know if he's a guy I want to be with in the long run but we call every day and hes become a good friend and I do really like him but im not ready to commit.

Is it ok if I keep on dating secretly? What doesn't know, doesn't harm right?

You mean you do or dont wnat to be there for him?

I read it as do not, which then seems odd to the fact you wont be daing anyone else?

Have you told him you wont be dating anyone else? If so and you did date, then wouldnt that be a lie? Ofc you arent in a relationship, but just make that clear and you might date other people.

If you go along with what he never finds out about will never do any harm. Gine if you are comfy with that, but you are basically being flase, when you dont have to be. Cool.