2nd gap year or biomed? - strict parents + feeling hopeless.

Hey, it sounds like you are working so incredibly hard for all of this. The problem with standardised tests is that they don’t take into account all the work and effort you do, just what’s on the paper. I know how disappointing it is not see the results you expected, but don’t give up. If this is your dream you’ll get there.

Do it for yourself though, it’s nice to have proud parents, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Good luck 🤞

Hi,
l am in a really bad place rn and I would appreciate any advice anyone has to share.
In year 12 , I didn't take my A-levels seriously and also due to some personal circumstances and mental health issues I got CCD in my year 12 mocks, the teachers couldn't predict me higher and so I couldn't apply to dentistry in year 13, I decided to take a gap year and apply with my final grades.
the end of year 13 comes and throughout year 13 I was struggling to learn everything I missed in year 12 whilst also tackling year 13 content and I didn't get the A's that I desired but instead got BCD (bio chem and history)
Absolutely gutted, my parents completely ashamed of me I felt completely hopeless and an absolute failure and at this point Dentistry seemed so far bcuz I felt so dumb - I couldn't even get high in my A-levels!
I was on a gap year anyways, so I decided to re-sit them which I will be doing so this coming exam season may/june.
I also decided to go to college again so that I could get predicted grades to apply for dentistry, I worked hard and managed to get AAA predicted in my 3 subjects a couple of weeks into september (mock exams, homeworks etc) despite doing horribly in my actual a levels.
Feeling slightly hopeful, I did the UCAT which I didn't have much time to revise for ( 3 weeks) because I didn't know whether or not I would get the predicted grades and even be applying. I did it and was completely shattered. I got 2400, I felt like an even bigger failure and everything in my life was telling me that I should just pick another course. My parents were fed up of my constant failures and even now refuse to look at me the same.
I applied anyways, I applied to leeds, cardiff, kcl and 2 biomed unis (brighton and sussex and bradford) , I knew my chances at cardiff and kcl were little to none but I didn't want to give up hope and I thought I might aswell apply anyways.
I did the bmat in november and managed to get really good in it. (4.6 4.8 3.5A) - I was extremely hopeful for leeds.
a week ago I got a rejection from Cardiff which i was expecting.
I got a place for biomed in bradford.
But today it felt like my whole world. had fallen apart bcuz I got a rejection from leeds pre-interview.
My parents refuse to talk to me, and now I can't even focus on revising for my A-levels because I am completely deteriorating mentally.
I could apply for another degree in january, but I have no other passion. I have no idea what else I could do. I have always wanted this.
I can only focus on my a levels for now but what after that?
I hate the way my parents see me, they are constantly comparing me to their friends kids who got into med/dentistry the first time. i feel like a reject.
They are completely opposed to the idea of a second gap year and refuse to even think it over, convincing them to let me take this one was hard enough.
If I take up the biomed offer at bradford I could transfer to dentistry after the first year but even that is competitive and as you can see I am not that smart so even that happening is unlikely.
I struggle with depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts and it just seems to be getting worse too.
My life is a complete mess right now.
Please someone give me advice, or anything.