Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Open relationships

Anonymous #1

Do open relationships work? My gf asked me for an open relationship where we see other people can they work?

Reply 1

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

For some couples yes. For other couples no.

Reply 2

username6080239

They can definitely work out. As long as you're both mature about it. Good luck!

Reply 3

username6079113

nah its for a certain type of person and if youre not 100% down with it then the relationships going tits up

Reply 4

1582

Volunteer Team

I've been in a few. First was 12 years ago most recent was 1 year ago. It was often just the final attempt to avoid a break-up and just made the situation messier.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I’m currently in an open relationship, she talks to whoever she wants and I talk to whoever I want. It’s been great.

F*ck that

Yes they do.

I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I had a fling kind of thing with a girl while she was in a relationship with someone else. We ended up dating when I was ready and so it could work 👍

Reply 9

NonIndigenous

Original post by Anonymous

Do open relationships work? My gf asked me for an open relationship where we see other people can they work?

A quick google search shows that 50% of conventional marriage fails, whereas 90% of 'open marriages' fail.

So, no. They do not generally work.

Also by my observations of so called 'open relationships', they are mostly used by people as an excuse for 'monkey branching' to a new partner. This means, not having the self-esteem to break up with your existing partner before finding a new one. I've known a couple of girls by now who said they are apparently in 'open relationships', whereas they were very clearly just looking for a new boyfriend, but didn't have the emotional resilience to break up first and be alone for a while. One of those would proclaim herself to be an 'independent woman'. I would hazard a guess that in about 30-50% of cases this 'boyfriend' wasn't even aware they were in an 'open relationship'. I met 2 or 3 of them via mutual friends.

So, total bullsh/t in my opinion.

Exceptions might exist. I can think of criteria when an open relationship might actually work long-term. But none of the people I've known met those criteria. Actually I do know one case where it has worked. They're over 50 years old now. That's extremely rare.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 10

NonIndigenous

There's also a difference in motives between why a guy will ask for an 'open relationship' compared to a woman. Guys are more driven by sex. So some guys are capable of having sex with many women, yet staying emotionally committed to just one. Whereas most women are driven more by emotional commitment in a relationship.

•

So if a guy were to ask for an 'open relationship', I'd be more inclined to believe him. Except most don't, and just cheat on their partner instead.

•

Whereas if a woman were to ask for an 'open relationship', it's more likely that she is looking for new 'emotional commitment' altogether, elsewhere.

So, men and women have substantially different reasons to pursue open relationships in the first place. These ambitions aren't particularly 'compatible' in the first place.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 11

Surnia

Original post by Anonymous

Do open relationships work? My gf asked me for an open relationship where we see other people can they work?

Have you asked her why she wants one? That might give you an idea of whether it will work or not, especially if if you've been together a while and it's not been discussed before.

Reply 12

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

It works for couples who do this each other and don't mind to do. For the majority I think it does not work.

Reply 13

username5854274

It is not for me, but I've definitely seen them work. It needs two people to have the same perspective though, one person pushing for an open relationship when the other is reluctant will be a recipe for disater.