Should I have sex just to get it out the way?

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

lol I'm in the same situation and am the same age, but in second year. Frankly I just don't want to have sex at all rn tho, and am glad I'm a girl so it's not that deep that i'm a virgin. Also noone knows for sure i am. I would say don't have sex just to be able to say you've done it... that just seems wrong. Have you ever been very sexually attracted to anyone?

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Don’t have sex to get it out they way, do it when it feels right

Reply 3

KingintheNorth31

10

Hi, I’m an 18 year old guy in my last year of sixth form, I’ve never done anything “romantic” in my life before, I’ve never kissed a girl or dated or anything like that. Not to brag but I’m moderately good looking, no Tom Cruise but not bad looking either and I can certainly hold a good conversation, so I know what your feeling. In my case some of my friends both male and female have lost their V-Cards and have dated multiple people so I get that it can sometimes make you feel like you’ve experienced less or are “behind” in some way, but in my case I haven’t done these things because the right person hasn’t come along or the timing hasn’t been right, in my view why waste something you can never regain and something that means something to you on someone you don’t love or care about, for the sake of saying you’ve done it, and as you’ve correctly pointed out having sex with a friend can ruin a good friendship, so if you are attracted to this friend then I would say ask yourself do you think you could have a future with this guy and if so then definitely pursue a relationship with him, then any relationship you have with him will be based on genuine friendship and love (not to sound cringey) and not just causal sex which will most definitely ruin a good friendship. So all in all I would say don’t worry about having sex, wait for the right person, most people around you who sleep around will regret the consequences and their actions for the rest of their lives, all for what, a sense of “maturity” or a few moments of fun. If I were you I’d wait for the right person to come along. Good Luck!

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

Honestly, I did just that when I was 18. I don’t have any regrets, I don’t feel any way about it actually. I’m 24 now and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, I don’t really remember anything before him.

Reply 5

LsDad

21

No,
Absolutely no hurry and no point. You want to share that moment with someone you care about but seriously, it really doesn't matter, it just isn't that important well certainly not at 20 anyhow.
Although, If you were a virgin at 50 my reply might be different
Take care now

Reply 6

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Yes, if you want to then do it. I don’t believe your first time necessarily has to be with someone special you care deeply about as the first time is usually crap and awkward anyway. However, in your situation I’d be wary about doing it with your friend because in most cases it will make the friendship awkward and possibly ruin it, so you should ideally find someone you’re not emotionally invested in.

Reply 7

Surnia

20

Don't do it. It comes over as wanting to be a sheep and do it because of other people, not because you really want to.

Most people have said they've had sex; how many is that? Do you know they are being truthful or are they thinking they should claim it for some reason?

Anyway, first time sex isn't necessarily going to be great, more likely messy and awkward. Wouldn't you rather do it with someone who really cares for you and will be patient and get to know your preferences, and try to make it better on subsequent occasions, rather than just 'get it out of the way'?

Reply 8

Anonymous #5

31 and happily married with 2 kids here. Don't let peer pressure and the media tell you what you want to do and when. "Experience" is massively overrated once you have a lifelong partner. Also, there are a lot more inexperienced people than you'd think. People lie.
Do what makes you happy. I'm sure you'll know when you want to.

Reply 9

username5974837

20

No no no. Don’t have sex just to “get it over and done with” that’s a stupid idea. You should do it because you really want to and not because of this expectation that you have to lose your virginity by your 20’s.

Doing stuff with a friend is not the worst thing in the world though. I have a relationship with a friend of mine and we still have an amazing connection. But this friend of yours doesn’t seem like he’s close to you so just don’t.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 10

Reality Check

22

Original post by Anonymous

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

I don't really think it should be a chore, in the way it's described here: it's not like cleaning the oven. Why do you feel there is some sort of pressure to do this, in a bit of a 'tick list' fashion?

Reply 11

Anonymous #6

As someone who has been in a similar situation, I can guarantee you that if you proceed with this idea, one of four things will happen. Assuming you tell him you want to do that, the first possibility is he will say eww and push you away, you will feel stupid and the friendship will be at best damaged or at worst wrecked. The second possibility is he will say yes and you will do it and he will become obsessed with you and you won't be able to get rid of him easily. The fourth possibility is the same but in reverse, i.e. you will like him too much but he will discard you. The fourth possibility is you will become a longer term item. So it is up to you what you do, bearing all these factors in mind.

Reply 12

Zarek

21

Trust your instincts. It would certainly be better than a random hookup. Mind you, your friendship will probably end up in ruins if he fancies you more than you fancy him

Reply 13

The Larisa

1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

Yes that's what I did

Reply 14

xox416

14

Judge him firstly on how he takes his time, foreplay first- if there is none, stop him in his tracks and walk away. Don't bother. Do it so you can enjoy it, not to get it over with.

Reply 15

Miss Paige

8

Original post by Anonymous

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

Yes I would just do it trust me

Reply 16

Wired_1800

20

Original post by Anonymous

I'm (F) a 20yr old virgin in my first year at uni. I am really conscious of the fact that most people around me have had sex and I haven't. I haven't had any experience beyond kissing. I'm not unattractive and I have a guy friend who used to like me and I feel like we should just have sex to get it over with (we're both virgins.) We are really good friends though and I would be sad if it got ruined. I'm pretty sure if I asked him for fwb he'd say yes. I am mildly attracted to him but not hugely. Thoughts??

I don't think your virginity should be something that you need “to get it over with”. If you don't care, that’s your choice; but if you do, you should think things through before doing so.

Should I have sex just to get it out the way?

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