Too late for children
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
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carrying a child at this age can be risky for ur health.
Original post by Anonymous
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
Asking an audience of mainly young people probably isn't going to get you the best answers. I know someone who had a child at 47. Whether you can is another matter.
Hey, what about having a child at 36-37??
Can you get pregnant at forty? Probably
Could you give birth to a healthy child with no ill effects for your health? More risky
Would I want to lack sleep for the next five years, because even the best have to teeth, get ear aches, colds that stop them from sleeping and rarely wake up after 7a.m even on a Sunday? Definitely not . Try putting your alarm clock on for 1 a.m 3:30 am and 6 a.m for a month, walk around the house for half an hour before going back to bed, seven days a week for a month and see if you can do it. 40 isn’t 30!!
Would I want a grumpy 15 year old at 55 years old when my friends are sending their last ones off to uni?? Definitely not.
This is coming from someone who has done it 3 times. Would I do it at 40? Probably not. What is relatively easy at 30 years old, a bit harder at 35 would have exhausted me at 40. But if you think you can do it……
Could you give birth to a healthy child with no ill effects for your health? More risky
Would I want to lack sleep for the next five years, because even the best have to teeth, get ear aches, colds that stop them from sleeping and rarely wake up after 7a.m even on a Sunday? Definitely not . Try putting your alarm clock on for 1 a.m 3:30 am and 6 a.m for a month, walk around the house for half an hour before going back to bed, seven days a week for a month and see if you can do it. 40 isn’t 30!!
Would I want a grumpy 15 year old at 55 years old when my friends are sending their last ones off to uni?? Definitely not.
This is coming from someone who has done it 3 times. Would I do it at 40? Probably not. What is relatively easy at 30 years old, a bit harder at 35 would have exhausted me at 40. But if you think you can do it……
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, what about having a child at 36-37??
Depends on whether it’s a first or another child.
My step-brother's wife was 40 (or maybe 41, I forget) when her youngest son was born.
My husband's ex had a baby at 42 as well (her only child).
Probably worth mentioning that both of these babies were perfectly healthy.
I mean yes, technically the risk of down syndrome increases if the mother is over the age of 35, but if you haven't hit the menopause yet technically you could still have a child at your age. Plenty of people seem to do it.
I'm definitely in agreement with @Euapp though, I'd be absolutely shattered dealing with a newborn at my age. I'm 39, and my kids are 17, 15, 13, and 9. That's quite tiring enough.
However if I wanted a baby badly enough, even at my age I'd put up with exhaustion. It just depends on how badly you want a kid.
My husband's ex had a baby at 42 as well (her only child).
Probably worth mentioning that both of these babies were perfectly healthy.
I mean yes, technically the risk of down syndrome increases if the mother is over the age of 35, but if you haven't hit the menopause yet technically you could still have a child at your age. Plenty of people seem to do it.
I'm definitely in agreement with @Euapp though, I'd be absolutely shattered dealing with a newborn at my age. I'm 39, and my kids are 17, 15, 13, and 9. That's quite tiring enough.
However if I wanted a baby badly enough, even at my age I'd put up with exhaustion. It just depends on how badly you want a kid.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
would you consider adopt or fostering? personally I would say that fostering could be ideal for you, as at 40 to have a baby, I think Is unfair for the child, when their 18 your going to be turning 60, when they have their kids (if they do) at say 28/30 your going to be 70
I wouldn't worry about it. Finding the right relationship is hard enough. And life has many other questions to consider. Think of those things first.
Original post by Anonymous
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
No - I know several people who gave birth to healthy children in their 40s. You are probably more financially stable thatn you were in your 20 and the risks are much overstated.
Original post by Anonymous
would you consider adopt or fostering? personally I would say that fostering could be ideal for you, as at 40 to have a baby, I think Is unfair for the child, when their 18 your going to be turning 60, when they have their kids (if they do) at say 28/30 your going to be 70
So? Better than being a grandparent at 33 like the mum of my Year 10 student became.
Original post by Muttley79
So? Better than being a grandparent at 33 like the mum of my Year 10 student became.
Definitely!!
Original post by Anonymous
the
I haven't named them or the school -
Original post by Muttley79
I haven't named them or the school -
so? your a teacher your supposed to support the kids, not use their vulnerable situation as an example online
Original post by Anonymous
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
It all depends on you as a person.. your health is a big factor, I know lots of people who have had perfectly healthy kids well into their 40’s… on the other hand I also know a few who’ve had serious complications with pregnancy for themselves as well as the child they’re carrying.. including birth/health defects and unfortunately a couple of instances which were sadly much worse… I’m no medical professional but I’d say you’re far from past it but you are approaching the age whereby you will potentially encounter a higher risk of problems within pregnancy
Original post by Euapp
Depends on whether it’s a first or another child.
The first?
Original post by Anonymous
I had a bad moment on the weekend, I am nearly 40. Never had a relationship, but I want kids. Is it too late?
It's up to you in general. I wouldn't say no to age, you don't want to live your life with regrets. That can consider what life you can offer a child, are you just thinking of one child or two? Are you thinking of doing this alone? Is there any family to take the kids on if your health takes a turn for the worst? Do you have somewhere reasonable to bring them up? Finances to fall back on?
Not meant to be negative but to my mind while not all has to be great to have a child it better to be able to offer a child at least some kind of upside. If it's just one child you're thinking of having then after you're gone is that presumably grown up child going to be stuck on their own? That can be not a pleasant situation.
Original post by Anonymous
The first?
It depends on a number of factors. How much energy you have because it really is harder fractioning your nights after 35, and how much you are prepared to sacrifice a part of what you have strived to achieve.
If you have a child knowing that it is going to turn your world upside down, shake up everything that you have carefully built career wise ( for example throwing up in your car on the way to school when you are supposed to be in a budget meeting 30 minutes afterwards, or catching chicken pox when you are going away on a business trip but you now have no one to look after them because they’re contagious) then go ahead. These things do of course happen if you have children at any age, but sometimes it’s easier to take a side step in a career early on and then climb back on the ladder. Later is sometimes harder. But then again that depends on your career.
If you’re fit and healthy and think you can provide a stable environment for a child then why not? Age is only one of many things that should be considered when thinking about starting a family, and unless we’re talking about extremes it’s far from being the most important!
OP if you mean by a bad moment that you were feeling lonely, depressed even that unfortunately is probably quite common these days. Traditional family stuff has broken down and society is in a downward motion for many people as far as the personal side of their lives is concerned. My own situation could go to a not good place at any time really and that plays on my mind sometimes.
A child may be the answer but no guarantees all will work out as life unfortunately isn't Hollywood. Consider also what the child may inherit, you say your single, is there a reason for that? Not great socially, problems, etc? It can be a little random but kids get stuff often genetically passed on. So whatever you or the other person has your child may get.
A child may be the answer but no guarantees all will work out as life unfortunately isn't Hollywood. Consider also what the child may inherit, you say your single, is there a reason for that? Not great socially, problems, etc? It can be a little random but kids get stuff often genetically passed on. So whatever you or the other person has your child may get.
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