How can I get my mum to stop pressuring me for money?
I'm currently on benefits due to my disability and receiving small financial support from my father. I give that small financial support to my mum which is monthly but she is saying the bills in the house are too high and I need to add something from my benefits because 'that is what the govt is expecting me to live off for my living costs'. I'm a fully grown adult and haven't yet paid for things like my drivers license, braces etc and these are my goals. In the past I have paid a consistent amount monthly when I was barely earning anything and my sister was paying nothing. I moved out temporarily and my sister started paying something. Now the situation is that my mum expects me to pay just a small amount smaller than what my sister pays even though my sister is on a teacher's salary. It's the same sort of situation with my brother except he doesn't have a solid job yet. However they have both paid for things like drivers lessons for themselves and holidays whereas I have been suffering with my mental health so wasnt able to afford or try these things. Now I actually have the money to build a life for myself but need to get my mum off my back. My sister is moving abroad soon and my brother might too, so both leaving the household. What can I do to avoid paying extra money and is it my right? I have tried to explain to my mum that I need to worry about my future but she doesn't seem to take regard of those things. Also want to add that I'm looking to use a good proportion of my money for therapy or a life coach because my mental health is in shambles and told her this but she doesn't think it's worth it and says I should do therapy with the NHS. I understand that but I want to do myself justice of getting better and paying for a low cost therapist if I find one that I like, esp as I have tried NHS cbt briefly before already.
It kind of depends whether the money is genuinely needed for the household. As driving lessons and life coaches are luxuries you pay for AFTER paying your bills and keep.
How much money is she asking you for on a weekly or monthly basis?
Do you have any viable alternative accomodation options?
You are not obligated to give your mother any of your money.
But she may make continuing to live with her conditional upon being paid a fixed sum for renting a bedroom or contributing towards household bills.
Alternatively she may want to transfer one of the bills for services that you use into your name for you to pay directly.
Do you have any viable alternative accomodation options?
You are not obligated to give your mother any of your money.
But she may make continuing to live with her conditional upon being paid a fixed sum for renting a bedroom or contributing towards household bills.
Alternatively she may want to transfer one of the bills for services that you use into your name for you to pay directly.
Original post by ajj2000
How much is your mum asking for in total per month? Does it include food?
She wants 300 pounds a month but currently I give 200 and I follow a diet so I tend to buy my own food but also eat the food she makes sometimes.
What is bothering me is that for probably a year at least I was paying my mum a consistent amount monthly when my siblings didn't do the same. My sister started paying when I left and I have an income now so she is insisting that I pay 300 a month when my sister pays 400 (who is on a teacher salary as I mentioned). My sister is also leaving now so I don't know how that changes things.
I have been dealing with my mental health issues so never fought back properly when I believe I was the only one paying consistently and even if I bring this up my mum won't care because it's in the past now.
I have been dealing with my mental health issues so never fought back properly when I believe I was the only one paying consistently and even if I bring this up my mum won't care because it's in the past now.
I don't want to sound like I'm a victim but also I clean the house and stuff because my sister works but apparently my mum doesn't even expect her to help with chores on the weekend which I've said so many times is unfair. My sister has told me that my mum takes advantage of my weak mental health which I think is true
I'm guessing your mom doesn't work and she's on benefits. If she's on benefits, encourage her to get a part time job. Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm correct, then keep reading my reply.
If she goes to work she won't have time to bother you because she will have £600 from her two daughters plus the money she will be getting from work.
She will also get money from universal credit if she works part time. If doesn't want to get a job and keeps insisting on £300 payment every month, you can tell her I'm moving out and this will stop her from bothering you.
She knows if you move out, she will lose out on the £200 she currently getting from you. Try this trick and I promise you it will work.
On the brave side, you can move out and share a flat with a friend. Or since you're on disability allowance, you can get a one bedroom flat since you have priority with your condition.
If you are brave enough, you can stop your mom bothering you by using a support worker from your local council. It's up to you. The decision comes from you but my advice will be, go to your local council and ask for a support worker to help you.
You can also go to the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to assist you in making the right decision and proper professional help.
Don't let your mom take advantage of you. Be brave and stop her from taking advantage of your vulnerable state. Good luck, i wish you the best and do take care.
If she goes to work she won't have time to bother you because she will have £600 from her two daughters plus the money she will be getting from work.
She will also get money from universal credit if she works part time. If doesn't want to get a job and keeps insisting on £300 payment every month, you can tell her I'm moving out and this will stop her from bothering you.
She knows if you move out, she will lose out on the £200 she currently getting from you. Try this trick and I promise you it will work.
On the brave side, you can move out and share a flat with a friend. Or since you're on disability allowance, you can get a one bedroom flat since you have priority with your condition.
If you are brave enough, you can stop your mom bothering you by using a support worker from your local council. It's up to you. The decision comes from you but my advice will be, go to your local council and ask for a support worker to help you.
You can also go to the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to assist you in making the right decision and proper professional help.
Don't let your mom take advantage of you. Be brave and stop her from taking advantage of your vulnerable state. Good luck, i wish you the best and do take care.
Original post by Donny Dee
I'm guessing your mom doesn't work and she's on benefits. If she's on benefits, encourage her to get a part time job. Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm correct, then keep reading my reply.
If she goes to work she won't have time to bother you because she will have £600 from her two daughters plus the money she will be getting from work.
She will also get money from universal credit if she works part time. If doesn't want to get a job and keeps insisting on £300 payment every month, you can tell her I'm moving out and this will stop her from bothering you.
She knows if you move out, she will lose out on the £200 she currently getting from you. Try this trick and I promise you it will work.
On the brave side, you can move out and share a flat with a friend. Or since you're on disability allowance, you can get a one bedroom flat since you have priority with your condition.
If you are brave enough, you can stop your mom bothering you by using a support worker from your local council. It's up to you. The decision comes from you but my advice will be, go to your local council and ask for a support worker to help you.
You can also go to the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to assist you in making the right decision and proper professional help.
Don't let your mom take advantage of you. Be brave and stop her from taking advantage of your vulnerable state. Good luck, i wish you the best and do take care.
If she goes to work she won't have time to bother you because she will have £600 from her two daughters plus the money she will be getting from work.
She will also get money from universal credit if she works part time. If doesn't want to get a job and keeps insisting on £300 payment every month, you can tell her I'm moving out and this will stop her from bothering you.
She knows if you move out, she will lose out on the £200 she currently getting from you. Try this trick and I promise you it will work.
On the brave side, you can move out and share a flat with a friend. Or since you're on disability allowance, you can get a one bedroom flat since you have priority with your condition.
If you are brave enough, you can stop your mom bothering you by using a support worker from your local council. It's up to you. The decision comes from you but my advice will be, go to your local council and ask for a support worker to help you.
You can also go to the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to assist you in making the right decision and proper professional help.
Don't let your mom take advantage of you. Be brave and stop her from taking advantage of your vulnerable state. Good luck, i wish you the best and do take care.
Thank you for the wishes and advice
I feel like I can't seek support against my mother because I don't see her as an enemy like that
But in general she does push me about and forces things on me to the point where I feel like I can never fight back hence I actually want to move out esp for the sake of university. I'm just worried I won't be able to afford moving out but plan on seeking advice from the advice centre at my uni.
Seeing as I struggle to say no to my mum, if I manage to afford it and all goes to plan with uni, do you advise that I move out?
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