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Pressuring to go into healthcare

Hi,
I've had a bit of academic struggle these past few years and ended up having to drop two of my a level subjects and restart year 12 with a double health & social care BTEC.

My subjects used to be Maths, Music and Psychology but at the end of the year I had to drop maths and psychology due to not getting a good enough grade in the end of years exam. I did well in my music exam though, and my music teachers fought to let me continue the subject as year 13 instead of restarting the course from year 12. Regardless, since my BTECs started as year 12, so I'm staying in school for an extra year before applying.

I'm finally about to go into year 13, but I'm under a lot of stress right now because we haven't been given our grades yet. I'm scared that I'll get lower than a B for music because it was the only subject I chose for myself and the only subject I was able to finish on time. And I will also get back grades for two of my the BTEC exams that I'm hopeful for.

It doesn't help that I am unable to tell extended family members my situation and it means my mum, brothers and I are constantly avoiding the subject of uni or changing the subject. Each time my mum does, it will always lead into the conversation on what I want to do in uni and later in life.

This wouldn't be a problem if my mum was open about it and allowed me do persue what I want however she wants to force me into healthcare or something that will guarantee money. (Not for me, more for her social life with friends and so that me and my siblings can support her when she is older) Because of this, I refuse to talk to my mum about my concerns about school or universities since she will disregard my opinion and degrade me for not being better. And this backfires every once in a while as she thinks I'm not thinking about it at all.

I don't really know how to explain my mental state in all of this other than it's definitely getting worse. I don't think I can communicate my thoughts without breaking down even if it doesn't involve talking. I want to confide in my older siblings however they are really bad at empathy and my friends are preparing to go to their unis so I don't want to bother them.

I know this is a long post but I think this encapsulates my situation well and it feels good to get it out. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this and I look forward to some feedback.

Reply 1

LoverOfBooks

Hi! I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I want you to know that there is always a way to get to where you want to be.
I know it's difficult to do, but try not to worry yourself too much about getting your grades back because there is nothing you can do to change it now, but if the worst case scenario happens and you don't get the grades you want, then there are always ways to get any help and support that you need going forward.
Two of my friends from Sixth Form missed out on their grades, one to do medicine and the other to do biology at uni, so they both had a year out, where they worked and volunteered, and now they've both been accepted into really good unis and are starting in September. So grades aren't the end of everything.
And I'm sorry that your mum is pressuring you into a degree that tends to lead to making a lot of money, but you should know that there are so many opportunities in so many different degrees to make money. I have just finished my first year of a history degree, and when I told everyone that was what I wanted to do, they all told me that there are so few well-paying jobs for history graduates, but since I've been studying, I've found out just how versatile the degree actually is, and in fact there are so many opportunities that it will hopefully give me. So I would suggest not to go for a degree just because of how much money it seemingly makes, or if you need to go for one of these degrees, try to pick one that you do have an interest and enjoyment in because it will make the whole degree so much easier. I considered doing a law degree because of the well-paying positions, but now I'm so glad I didn't because history is my passion and I am really enjoying it.
But if you need anyone to talk to, feel free to message.

Reply 2

MoonsMelody

Hi, thank you for the feedback! Again, I can't really explain how I feel about this whole thing, or where I want to go next, but I would definitely say music is one of my passions. I've tried a middle ground, that being music therapy courses but most of those require a music degree to start out. I'm not too worried about the entry requirements for those, as they seem to care more about actual musical ability, it's mostly just the backlash I'll get if these exams come out badly. I'd love to have the option of a foundation year or gap year to get where I wanted but that's something I'd rather avoid due to my age already (I'm 18 and will be 19 if I start uni immediately after finishing my BTECs). Hence, I've looked into apprenticeships, but as I've said before, my mum will dismiss anything that I say if it isn't what she wants me to do. On the bright side, my brothers have spoken up before about apprenticeships.

Reply 3

LoverOfBooks

Original post by MoonsMelody

It sounds like you really love music! I'd say that whatever you end up doing, keep up with doing some sort of music, even if it's just a hobby, especially if it brings you joy!
About doing a foundation year or having a gap year, I've found from my first year at uni, that people's ages don't really get mentioned a lot on courses. In mine, one of my closest friends is a year older, so she turned 20 this year whilst I turned 19, and I didn't even know until she mentioned it. People don't really seem to care about how old you are because I think everyone has almost been pushed into this really strange situation of starting over again in a new place, with new friends, and so everyone kind of just bonded really well together, especially on my course. So don't let the worry of that put you off a foundation year or gap year if that's a big concern. It's always fun hearing about how people spent their gap years! But if it's something you'd rather not do, then that's fine as well!

Apprenticeships are supposed to be really good. I know they are quite competitive to get into, but a lot of the time employers seem to value an apprenticeship over a degree, so they're worth looking at, especially if you find one that really interests you because they can potentially lead straight into a job.