Ex partner issue

My first girlfriend and I broke up a few months a go after she cheated and lied to me, this was a tough time, we both kept in somewhat contact after as we were both in a bad way, but we didbt speak much, maybe one or two messages since, over time we talk less and i feel myself healing more, but today we had a call out of the blue and she seemed in a very bad way, on medication, and seemed highly emotional and unstable, she has spoken to doctors and have gotten help, but it was saddening to see and hear her unhappiness, i mentioned a complete cut off between us but she snapped, what do i do , i want to heal but this news of how bad shes doing is making it hard to know what to do?

Reply 1

Kschu

12

Just don’t contact each other, give each other time and space to heal. I was in similar situation when my break up happened. My ex told me not contact them any further and I was such in a bad place but trust me it will pass. Just trust the process. Maintaining contact would just do more damage so cut all contact. Time is the greatest healer, she will eventually accept the reality that the relationship is over.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Kschu

Just don’t contact each other, give each other time and space to heal. I was in similar situation when my break up happened. My ex told me not contact them any further and I was such in a bad place but trust me it will pass. Just trust the process. Maintaining contact would just do more damage so cut all contact. Time is the greatest healer, she will eventually accept the reality that the relationship is over.

thank you, it means a lot, i understand that completely, its just hard knowing the state thats shes in, shes given up on life and its not just becuase of the relationship, lots of bad things happen to her, it really was like talking to a broken person, it was sad, i know im not responsible for her pain but its still hard

Cut contact. Your mental health is just as importance as hers is.

I was in a similar situation with an ex girlfriend when I went to university. I kept in contact and was struggling. Those were a tough few months with regular phonecalls, but we eventually cut contact, which was the right thing to do.

So given that experience, I need to make one thing very clear to you. It is not your responsibility to fix this problem. I understand you care for her. I understand that you want to help. Chances are you can't help nearly as effectively as you want to, but even if you can, this is not your responsibility. As @1582 quite rightly says, your mental health is as important as hers, and your past history means that this will not be easy for you to deal with. So don't. That's not mean or insensitive. It is very practical. This has to be someone else's problem, and she needs to seek help and support from elsewhere.

Reply 5

Miss Paige

8

Original post by Anonymous

My first girlfriend and I broke up a few months a go after she cheated and lied to me, this was a tough time, we both kept in somewhat contact after as we were both in a bad way, but we didbt speak much, maybe one or two messages since, over time we talk less and i feel myself healing more, but today we had a call out of the blue and she seemed in a very bad way, on medication, and seemed highly emotional and unstable, she has spoken to doctors and have gotten help, but it was saddening to see and hear her unhappiness, i mentioned a complete cut off between us but she snapped, what do i do , i want to heal but this news of how bad shes doing is making it hard to know what to do?

Why haven't you just blocked her come on man you can't move on otherwise

Ex partner issue

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