Our relationship was perfect but it ended

I'm still completely hung up on my ex who ended things a couple of months ago. He ended things completely out of the blue, everything was going so well. We both admitted we'd never felt this way about someone before. Could both be 100% ourselves around each other, something neither of us had before. It was the first time in over a year I had let someone in after being treated badly in the past. All his friends and family loved me and gave him a lot of stick for ending things. But he got too scared and decided he couldn't commit. We were going round in circles as we were both in agreement that neither of us wanted it to end, but he needed some time to himself. I can't be angry at him because he was truthful and such a gentleman throughout the whole 'relationship'. Looking back there was genuinely never a single issue, not a single thing that annoyed me or put me off him. I'm just struggling so much as it came from nowhere. I really really miss him and I don't want to search for anyone else. I know time is the biggest healer, but I just know I will be hung up on this boy for a long time and if I do start talking to anyone else it will just be as a distraction.

Reply 1

Surnia

20

Is this the guy who was having doubts, but didn't tell you what they were? You were still talking after the break-up, but he gave your stuff back?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

Is this the guy who was having doubts, but didn't tell you what they were? You were still talking after the break-up, but he gave your stuff back?

Yes it is unfortunately. Still very much heartbroken. We keep bumping into each other as well which doesn't make it any easier.

Reply 3

I am Tina

2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes it is unfortunately. Still very much heartbroken. We keep bumping into each other as well which doesn't make it any easier.

Obviously wasn't perfect if he ended it, hope you are not still sleeping with him

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by I am Tina

Obviously wasn't perfect if he ended it, hope you are not still sleeping with him

Well everything seemed perfect, never had any issues or arguments he just got scared. God no, not slept with him since before we ended. We did end up having a very long chat and kissed, but nothing more, and haven't really spoken to each other since that. We both agreed the kiss made things more confusing, as nice as it was.

Reply 5

Zarek

21

These things are very upsetting indeed. I do believe that as well as a right person there is a right time for commitment and these things have to align. There is consolidation that the break up was civilised which allows the good times to be properly cherished, this isn’t always the case. Turn to friends and new pursuits in the meantime, and get back in the saddle as soon as you can. Thankfully there is not just once good partner, in fact there are many, and new and better love comes

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

These things are very upsetting indeed. I do believe that as well as a right person there is a right time for commitment and these things have to align. There is consolidation that the break up was civilised which allows the good times to be properly cherished, this isn’t always the case. Turn to friends and new pursuits in the meantime, and get back in the saddle as soon as you can. Thankfully there is not just once good partner, in fact there are many, and new and better love comes

He said he was ready to commit which makes it even more confusing. All his family were saying they were glad we met now and not 6 months earlier when he definitely wasn't in the headspace for something serious. Well I thought we ended on fairly civil terms but then saw him the other day and he completely blanked me, I was expecting a full blown conversation but a hi would have been nice.

Reply 7

Surnia

20

Take off the rose-tinted glasses and stop saying the relationship was perfect, as was your ex. It's not true and it's not helping you move on by continuing to think so.

If it was perfect it wouldn't have ended. In previous posts you said he was treated badly by an ex, so either he got into a relationship with you when he wasn't over her or he sees women all the same and thinks you'll treat him badly, too. If he wanted to commit to you, he would have stayed with you for support because that's how a partnership works. He is emotionally immature and has trust and communication issues.

Yes, the break-up is going to hurt, but it will be worse if you don't see it for what it is.

Our relationship was perfect but it ended

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