Lonely at University
I am in my first year of university at Lancaster and I have had bumps especially at the start of the first term where I was almost sure I was going to drop out. However, I started enjoying it a lot more and whether that is to making more friends, enjoying the social life, or finding some commitment to the course.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
Yep, the honeymoon first semester is gone now and normal uni life is hitting you. Its hard to leave your loved ones and come back to hard work. You can always Facetime your mum in the morning to get some connection with what you are familiar with. Dont drop out - you will regret it later in life.
This is the new 'normal' just takes time to accept the change and adjust.
This is the new 'normal' just takes time to accept the change and adjust.
Original post by AcidyHour
I am in my first year of university at Lancaster and I have had bumps especially at the start of the first term where I was almost sure I was going to drop out. However, I started enjoying it a lot more and whether that is to making more friends, enjoying the social life, or finding some commitment to the course.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
Hi there
I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling this way at the moment. Uni isnt always fun and exciting, it becomes your life for a short period of time and with that comes good and bad days. I remember feeling a similar way to you at points where i missed home comforts and talking to people I was familiar with. I can promise you that for the most part it does get better. You're settling into a new routine and that will take time to adjust to, especially after living at home for so many years. You just need to try and push through this period of time. Join societies, develop a new hobby and try and implement those home comforts into your uni routine e.g. face timing your mum in the morning or before bed as the person above said. I know it may feel weird to think about it in this way right now but there will come a time when you will probably miss aspects of uni so try and make the most of it. It's great to hear that you're doing a placement next year. Maybe that change of routine will be good for you and you will meet good friends through it. But for now try and focus on whats to come and keep yourself distracted from the loneliness. I found that talking to my flatmates really helped as It made me realise that everyone misses home at some point so you are most certainly not alone. I would also recommend planning things to look forward to in the summer such as a family holiday or in the weeks to come such as a night out or dinner with friends. Ultimately you are not alone even when you may feel like it. Please reach out to the wellbeing team at your uni if you feel that you are struggling. I can promise you that you're not alone in feeling this way and it might do you some good to interact with others who are feeling similarly. Hope this helps a bit.
Best wishes
Joanna
-Uni of Kent Rep
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling.
I'm a third year history student at Lancaster and I promise lots of people get homesick. It does get better, and I actually think placement will be really helpful for you! The thing with the day-to-day at uni is that the days are not that busy because of the focus independent study. Your placement next year will be different from this because it will keep you busy, you'll be going out and meeting people and getting to know the people you're working with. Maybe you can try join a few more societies this term, or even just study in the library more so you're around people rather than isolated in your room but feel free to reach out to me if you need anything.
~ Georgia
I'm a third year history student at Lancaster and I promise lots of people get homesick. It does get better, and I actually think placement will be really helpful for you! The thing with the day-to-day at uni is that the days are not that busy because of the focus independent study. Your placement next year will be different from this because it will keep you busy, you'll be going out and meeting people and getting to know the people you're working with. Maybe you can try join a few more societies this term, or even just study in the library more so you're around people rather than isolated in your room but feel free to reach out to me if you need anything.
~ Georgia
Original post by AcidyHour
I am in my first year of university at Lancaster and I have had bumps especially at the start of the first term where I was almost sure I was going to drop out. However, I started enjoying it a lot more and whether that is to making more friends, enjoying the social life, or finding some commitment to the course.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
Hi,
University definitely isn't right for everyone, but what you're articulating here is not a rare experience— especially for first years— and I'd echo what others have said about taking different approaches to try and integrate familiar home routines into your life at uni. Prioritizing your happiness and satisfaction so you don't move forward without regrets is always a sensible plan of action. One year is a lot of time to adjust on paper but the uni experience is always open to change over time so it might be the dynamics of the placement year that were mentioned that might suit you better. If you are comfortable, I would recommend sharing these feelings with someone you trust especially because you've noted your decision has implications for others in Year 2 and it might be a second perspective on the situation that gives you some more clarity. College well-being through the CAT (College Advisory Team), your JCR Exec, and the central services from the University are just some of the ways of accessing support; even if you feel alone now, be rest assured that you don't have to be alone in terms of finding the best way forward from this position if that will work for you the best.
Original post by AcidyHour
I am in my first year of university at Lancaster and I have had bumps especially at the start of the first term where I was almost sure I was going to drop out. However, I started enjoying it a lot more and whether that is to making more friends, enjoying the social life, or finding some commitment to the course.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
Hi @AcidyHour [br]Sorry to hear that you’re feeling lonely at the moment. I agree with a lot of what has already been said above. Homesickness is a very common issue. I have struggled with homesickness in the past and found that calling family from time to time really helped. As did spending time with uni friends and going to societies.
If you need help please reach out to someone you trust or your colleges CAT team, there are many people that can help you.
Best of luck,
- Tineke
Lancaster Student Ambassador
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by AcidyHour
I am in my first year of university at Lancaster and I have had bumps especially at the start of the first term where I was almost sure I was going to drop out. However, I started enjoying it a lot more and whether that is to making more friends, enjoying the social life, or finding some commitment to the course.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
I have just come back from my Easter holiday and I am back in student accommodation. I came back yesterday and I just feel lost and so alone. I just feel so isolated, I'm not too sure whether this is just simply down to being used to being at home with my mum and my brother (and my dog) or if it is down to me realising maybe uni isn't right for me?
If I'm completely honest, I just feel scared of what is to come such as exams, and then placement next year. I feel a bit trapped as I have put down a deposit for a student house next year and I don't know if id be able to get out of it if I did decide to drop out.
I just don't really know what to do, I just feel so alone even when I'm with my uni friends and I don't feel like that at home. Im 20 and I feel stupid saying it, but I miss my mum. I miss waking up and going downstairs everyday to talk to her. It just doesn't feel the same in university and I just don't feel happy at the moment.
My daughter felt the same way in first year at Lancaster. And shes now comfortable wheres shes at. she had to get a little of of her comfort zone to meet new people. 2nd year she was with same housemates as first year, but by year 3 and now 4 she chose to live with brand new housemates (private halls 3rd/chancellors 4th) and shes so glad she did.
I think you probably have a bit of homesickness and also your worried about exams and these emotions are all being rolled up into one and you want to go back to home, because its what you know and in your comfort zone. Do you love your course? If you do, then thats a good positive thing to keep in mind. If not, then perhaps the course is not right for you.
Daughter got by, by keeping herself busy. She went out to a pub quiz with friends, going out for walks and exercise, a bit of revision in the library. She created a bit of a routine for herself. Like in the evenings, Mondays is pendle pub night with friends/ or pub quiz at white cross, Tuesday she does coursework, Wednesday she facetimes me, Thursday is a different pub quiz night, Friday Coursework, Saturday she facetimes me still but for just a 20 mins check in and she resets her week by making her room nice, changing sheets, washing, shopping etc, Sunday she meets with her physics friends and watch a movie or play card games. All this whilst fitting in coursework, revision, and a netflix binge.
By creating this little structure, she felt more in control and not so lost and it works out really well for her and shes very happy, getting more closer to her friends in second year into third year.
And your not stupid saying it either, it sounds like you have a nice loving home. Please give it until the end of the summer term. Im not saying do what my daughters doing, but if you do some new things, or create a little structure, it might help make you feel more in control of uni life and less homesick,
. Might also be good talking to a couple of trustworthy friends too (edited 1 year ago)
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