Is it normal my gf makes jokes like this?

Me and my girlfriend sometimes light heartedly tease each other but sometimes she picks at my appearance jokingly like calling me a horse face even though she knows I am very insecure about my appearance and talked to her about it but she reassures me that she finds me very attractive physically but she can't help but joke about appearance which gets to me and makes me insecure.

Is this normal in a relationship or is just me being overly sensitive?

Reply 1

sama1951

5

You’re not being overly sensitive because ur entitled to ur feelings. However maybe she doesn’t understand ur insecurity as she she finds you to be attractive. You should sit down and tell her u understand it’s a joke but it still gets at you . I do think it’s normal to tease and poke fun at each other like that, but if ur not finding it funny then you should explain how u feel when she says things about your appearance.

I hope I helped,

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sama1951

You’re not being overly sensitive because ur entitled to ur feelings. However maybe she doesn’t understand ur insecurity as she she finds you to be attractive. You should sit down and tell her u understand it’s a joke but it still gets at you . I do think it’s normal to tease and poke fun at each other like that, but if ur not finding it funny then you should explain how u feel when she says things about your appearance.

I hope I helped,

Thank you!!!

No, it's not normal to disregard your partners feelings because you think you're being funny. A good partner will apologise and change their behavior* in these situations.

*assuming the person taking offence has good reason to be offended by their actions, which you do here.

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 4

Dunnig Kruger

16

That's a terrible thing to joke about. Because it's too negative, too personal, too insulting, too socially uncalibrated.
Joking about it twice per year is OK. Joking about it twice per month is too much.

It's time for you to be assertive and to make it clear you're not willing to tolerate such behaviour from her. Best way to do this is in a way where you don't come over as upset, and where you keep things light.
EG she makes the joke whilst you're having supper. You put down you're fork and say in a calm, neutral voice "I can see you're not feeling it tonight. I'm off out to meet up with some friends (or watch a film at a cinema or see your mum or whatever). You can come too or you can stay at home and chill out." If she agrees to come, say with a smile in a teasing way "OK, so long as you behave yourself." If she makes the joke whilst you're out, you bring out your jokey teasing tone again and say something like "That's the 2nd time you've made that joke tonight and 16th time this month. I get it. You like that joke. You think it's a great joke. How about we think up some new jokes for your comedy routine?"

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my girlfriend sometimes light heartedly tease each other but sometimes she picks at my appearance jokingly like calling me a horse face even though she knows I am very insecure about my appearance and talked to her about it but she reassures me that she finds me very attractive physically but she can't help but joke about appearance which gets to me and makes me insecure.

Is this normal in a relationship or is just me being overly sensitive?

I would take it an extreme offence.
Heck, if anyone jokes about my Mom or Dad, especially Mom, I get extremely extremely extremely furious (oh yes, and this has happened a few times, and it did not end well. Nothing physical, but I literally made a whole goddamn scene out of it).

Take it up with her. Now. Although the words being used here are not that offensive compared to my context, you should bring this up. Relationships are meant to be open for discussion, not for insulting, knowingly or unknowingly.

Reply 6

Zarek

21

Just tell her to cut it out if she loves you

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my girlfriend sometimes light heartedly tease each other but sometimes she picks at my appearance jokingly like calling me a horse face even though she knows I am very insecure about my appearance and talked to her about it but she reassures me that she finds me very attractive physically but she can't help but joke about appearance which gets to me and makes me insecure.

Is this normal in a relationship or is just me being overly sensitive?

Call her hippo head and she'll never say it again :smile:

Is it normal my gf makes jokes like this?

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