English language paper 1 aqa

can you please check my paragraph and mark it out of 8


How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?



My quote- from line 31-33 ‘It can’t be killed.’ Eckels pronounced this verdict quietly, as if there could be no argument. He had weighed the evidence, and this was his considered opinion. The rifle in his hands seemed like a toy gun. ‘We were fools to come. This is impossible.’





In source A, the writer creates interest by building up a horrific moment. This can be seen from line 31-33 where the writer uses dialogue, to describe how the two men were reacting when they took the risk to kill the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Furthermore, they seemed terrified and the way they had spoken together seemed they understood each other. Furthermore, they felt powerless even though they had rifle gun on their hands. This highlights that the writer trying to tell us as readers that the two men couldn’t stand a chance to defeat the Tyrannosaurus Rex. This further highlighted a zoom in “seemed like a toy gun.” This suggests that the writer trying to tell us as readers that two men couldn’t do anything to stop the Tyrannosaurus Rex, as they see their rifle gun as toys which suggests that if they took a shoot, it wouldn’t do anything to defeat the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Therefor as you can see, the writer creates interest by highlighting how horrific the Tyrannosaurus Rex can be as the rifle gun wouldn’t defeat him.