They can’t actually stop you moving out
Have you asked them to explain what they’re worried about? You can’t change their minds if you don’t know what their reasons are
Have you asked them to explain what they’re worried about? You can’t change their minds if you don’t know what their reasons are
You may have to go nuclear and simply tell them you are moving out into Halls/ private accommodation when you go to uni. The risk is that they may not then provide you with any funding for living expenses/maintenance.
If your parents are on a low income then you are eligible to take out the maximum maintenance loan. Check out the government website explaining it all.
Family income less than £25k - you can apply for and receive the maximum loan of £9706 each year at uni
Family income less than £45k - you can apply for a loan of £6929, your parents are expected to make up the difference of £2777
Family income more than £65k - you can apply for a loan of £4527, your parents are expected to make up the difference of £5182
If you demand to leave, your parents can choose NOT to top up your maintenance allowance in which case you will have to get a part-time job to make up the difference. As a ballpark figure, you can assume the halls of residence will cost around £200 a week for 42 weeks = £8400. Thus most students take a part-time job or sponge some more cash off their parents since they are not left with much for food and going out. Assuming you work 20 hours a week at Sainsburys at £10 an hour you will earn £200 a week. If your parents earn more than £65k then you will struggle with a £4527 loan from Barclays and working 20 hours a week. The only option is for you to declare that you no longer live at home and so you earn less than £25k so you would be eligible for the maximum loan of £9706. But this would mean you move out into council flat as proof that you don't live at home. Getting a council flat is not easy - it could take months.
Remember, we are talking about loans - they will need to be paid back and you will be charged interest on the amount you take out as a loan.
If your parents are on a low income then you are eligible to take out the maximum maintenance loan. Check out the government website explaining it all.
Family income less than £25k - you can apply for and receive the maximum loan of £9706 each year at uni
Family income less than £45k - you can apply for a loan of £6929, your parents are expected to make up the difference of £2777
Family income more than £65k - you can apply for a loan of £4527, your parents are expected to make up the difference of £5182
If you demand to leave, your parents can choose NOT to top up your maintenance allowance in which case you will have to get a part-time job to make up the difference. As a ballpark figure, you can assume the halls of residence will cost around £200 a week for 42 weeks = £8400. Thus most students take a part-time job or sponge some more cash off their parents since they are not left with much for food and going out. Assuming you work 20 hours a week at Sainsburys at £10 an hour you will earn £200 a week. If your parents earn more than £65k then you will struggle with a £4527 loan from Barclays and working 20 hours a week. The only option is for you to declare that you no longer live at home and so you earn less than £25k so you would be eligible for the maximum loan of £9706. But this would mean you move out into council flat as proof that you don't live at home. Getting a council flat is not easy - it could take months.
Remember, we are talking about loans - they will need to be paid back and you will be charged interest on the amount you take out as a loan.
Just declaring that you have moved out doesn’t meet the threshold to be classed as independent by SFE. A student has to provide proof that they irreconcilably estranged from both parents to be classed as independent (or to marry/civil partner a fellow student in a similar situation).
Banks offering interest free overdrafts of over £1k can offer a vital buffer zone to cover costs during term time that can be paid back through holiday work.
Banks offering interest free overdrafts of over £1k can offer a vital buffer zone to cover costs during term time that can be paid back through holiday work.
(edited 10 months ago)
Hope fully your loan is sorted I think you really need to just go start slowly packing a big hold all with clothes do this late at night or early in the morning or when your parents are out of the house shopping or whatever the night before you go pack up all your electronics and chargers again late at night. You’ll want to get up early sneak out of the house and the earliest train you can once on the train you should block your parents number you can contact them but they can’t contact you because they can and will employ a number of tactics to get you to come home number one of these will be emotional blackmail and you don’t need that once you get to halls dump your stuff you’re travelling light so you’ll need to do some shopping:
Food
Hygiene things like ( toothbrush and stuff)
Pots and pans
Hopefully you were able to pack a bag with stationary and things if not get some note books and things too.
You might need a job in a student city that shouldn’t be much of a problem Mc Donald’s I’ve herd while looked down on do treat their workers quite well and the pay isn’t too bad. Or you could do bar work or work in a shop. Or become a private tutor you can charge up to £25 an hour and set your own hours I’m sure you can figure it out. Right now I’d try to get a summer job so you have some funds at uni.
I know that sounds a bit drastic I’d still get a summer job but I’d also ask your parents why they don’t want you to go to university they may have valid fears so you’ need to find a way to combat those fears taking a job might help that if it’s more cultural that's harder there are things like the Afro Caribbean society (well we had one of those) so if your part of a minority you could join that and show them their SU page. This is Southamptons page https://www.susu.org/opportunities/categories/culture-and-international. You don’t have to join any of these just so your parents know there is specific support there. If it’s that you can’t cook or something prove them wrong offer to cook supper or something or do the food shopping.If after all that they still say no you need to change tack explain that livening in halls is better from an academic point of view. For things like:
Group work
Access to the university (and all the vital facilities for your course)
Access to the. Library.
If they still say no “just tell I’m going you don’t have to support my decision but that is what’s happening”.
I hope one of these approaches works for you.
Food
Hygiene things like ( toothbrush and stuff)
Pots and pans
Hopefully you were able to pack a bag with stationary and things if not get some note books and things too.
You might need a job in a student city that shouldn’t be much of a problem Mc Donald’s I’ve herd while looked down on do treat their workers quite well and the pay isn’t too bad. Or you could do bar work or work in a shop. Or become a private tutor you can charge up to £25 an hour and set your own hours I’m sure you can figure it out. Right now I’d try to get a summer job so you have some funds at uni.
I know that sounds a bit drastic I’d still get a summer job but I’d also ask your parents why they don’t want you to go to university they may have valid fears so you’ need to find a way to combat those fears taking a job might help that if it’s more cultural that's harder there are things like the Afro Caribbean society (well we had one of those) so if your part of a minority you could join that and show them their SU page. This is Southamptons page https://www.susu.org/opportunities/categories/culture-and-international. You don’t have to join any of these just so your parents know there is specific support there. If it’s that you can’t cook or something prove them wrong offer to cook supper or something or do the food shopping.If after all that they still say no you need to change tack explain that livening in halls is better from an academic point of view. For things like:
Group work
Access to the university (and all the vital facilities for your course)
Access to the. Library.
If they still say no “just tell I’m going you don’t have to support my decision but that is what’s happening”.
I hope one of these approaches works for you.
(edited 10 months ago)
Original post by Sara300
Uni is coming up pretty soon I've now finished all my A Level Exams however im still trying to move out for University. I tried in the past to convince them to let me move however they won't let me does anyone have any tips?
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you’re having trouble with your parents about moving out. Family issues are sensitive, and this will be a big change for both you and them. I would take a guess to say they are probably concerned about this change for you, so I would firstly suggest trying to find the root of why this might be. I understand this may be difficult and they may not want to discuss it but its worth having a proper sit-down conversation to address the root of this disagreement.
It may also help them to actually see or talk to some universities! Maybe you could suggest visiting universities or talking to teams at the university which assist with transitioning, and they could gather some crucial information. Sometimes these problems may stem from a lack of knowledge about things which stems up fear and weariness so being able to gather info first hand may help sway them to letting you move.
In the extreme case this cannot be resolved, there is help you can get to move away. You are 18 so legally an adult and therefore you do not need their permission to move out. If you did so I would recommend looking for financial support, have a look at your loan options (there is an option to apply for being estranged however this would require evidence from a professional) and talk to the university for anything else available but more so you should also talk about well-being support as I can imagine this would be a very tough situation to be in. As I don’t know your situation personally, I don’t want to make any particular suggestions. This is a tough case and I implore you to try and work things out but in the case this is your last option then I would really suggest going to whatever university you apply to for any and all support to help you through.
I hope it all works out for you and your family,
- Sophie (uni of Bath)
Original post by Sara300
Uni is coming up pretty soon I've now finished all my A Level Exams however im still trying to move out for University. I tried in the past to convince them to let me move however they won't let me does anyone have any tips?
Hi there,
Sounds like a tricky situation, lots of people move out for uni and you may have to just tell your parents that that is what you want to do. Maybe try asking them why you aren't allowed, there could be lots of different reasons as to why they don't want you to move out and if you find out why you may be able to ease their worry.
I hope this helps,
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
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