To me sex is not necessary? People tend to say am not normal

Hello am I normal .I don't get attached to opposite gender as much as I want to be with be a boyfriend .all I met they just want to have s*x with me .and this gives me a turn off is that normal

Reply 1

Surnia

20

That's 2 different scenarios.

Ultimately, sex is part of a relationship for most people; i don't know if I'd use the word 'necessary', but it's anticipated it will happen as an expression of love.

However, it's perfectly normal not to want to get involved with someone who just wants sex. You do you, and if you want to wait until you have more understanding of and are comfortable with someone to have sex, that's fine. Don't get pressure into anything or do something just because everyone else is, or says they are!

Original post by Surnia

That's 2 different scenarios.

Ultimately, sex is part of a relationship for most people; i don't know if I'd use the word 'necessary', but it's anticipated it will happen as an expression of love.

However, it's perfectly normal not to want to get involved with someone who just wants sex. You do you, and if you want to wait until you have more understanding of and are comfortable with someone to have sex, that's fine. Don't get pressure into anything or do something just because everyone else is, or says they are!

I agree with every word of this. I think it is fair to say that sex is a necessary part of a relationship for the vast majority of people. There has been plenty of research recently on the declining frequency that couples are having sex, and the general conclusion is that that is not a good thing for the relationship or the individuals in it. But that's not to say that if you genuinely don't want to have sex there is something wrong with you. That's who you are, and that is fine. It just means you need to find partners who are compatible with that. That may be a bit harder to do because most people do want to be in relationships where they have a sex life to one degree or another, but fundamentally it's just finding someone who meets your needs. The same as everyone does.

Reply 3

H8Courtship217

10

this is one of the main reasons why i've been filled with anger and bitterness lately, due to a failed relationship i had, i unfortuneately got into a relationship with a girl that had an asexual personality, she had issues surrounding physical intimacy, because of that, it didn't feel like a true relationship.

Reply 4

Rakas21

21

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hello am I normal .I don't get attached to opposite gender as much as I want to be with be a boyfriend .all I met they just want to have s*x with me .and this gives me a turn off is that normal

Sex is important in a relationship for intimacy and is pleasurable for almost all men. Humans are also instinctually programmed to seek to breed which pushes them to sex whether the purpose is having a child or not.

You might be able to find a shy or submissive man or asexual man to counter this while being in relationships but the majority of men would struggle with a women who can't be fully intimate with them.

It also begs the question as to why he's your boyfriend and not just a close friend.

Original post by H8Courtship217

this is one of the main reasons why i've been filled with anger and bitterness lately, due to a failed relationship i had, i unfortuneately got into a relationship with a girl that had an asexual personality, she had issues surrounding physical intimacy, because of that, it didn't feel like a true relationship.

Not wanting to hijack the thread, but why would that fill you with anger and bitterness? You got into a relationship with someone. It clearly wasn't a good match. The relationship ended. Nothing inherently unusual in that. I could imagine some resentment if you were misled in some way about her asexuality, but even if you were, literally nothing you can do about it now. Seems to me the only way to look is forwards.