Is he interested?
So my friend went on a first date with this guy and it lasted pretty long she had to cut it short even though he wanted it to go on for longer. After the date he texted her asking if she made it home, and that he had fun with her and wanting to know when he could see her again? She tells him the day she is free and he says “he can’t wait” from there he does text her occasionally in between the second date. The day of the date comes and he texts her like normally with no indication or confirmation of the date on the day of. She doesn’t ask if there still on cause she felt like that was his job? So she ignores one of his casual texts that he was adding on from the day before. Then he starts double texting her telling her not to ignore him. Again they have a second date planned on that day that he asked her on. Yet it was the middle of the day and he still didn’t speak on the date? Should she block him ?
A little confused cos you keep saying date on, but I think what you’re saying is basically, they have a second date planned, but he’s not confirmed and your friend is unsure if it’s still going ahead. They’ve been messaging each other, and their talking on the day the second date is meant to happen, but no mention of the actual date?
Or from your last bit “he still didn’t speak on the date” do you mean they went on the date, but it didn’t go as good as the first?
Assuming it’s the first bit, the most worrying thing is the double texting and “telling her not to ignore him”. If he was being really aggressive and domineering and demanding in this messages then definitely a huge huge red flag and she should probably end it there, tell him she’s not interested, doesn’t see it going anywhere and say goodbye. Defo should not drag it out anymore. That’s a huge overreaction at best that not warranted given what’s happened, and signs of dangerous behaviour.
If it’s more ‘polite’ and kinda of ‘noticed you’ve not been saying much’ etc and (you can get a good sense of tone from the message) then worth just explaining / clarifying with him why that is. but if you’re friends not sure it’s better to just cut ties an avoid potentially wasting time energy and effort.
If it’s the second one, basically a poor date, then time to just end it there and move on.
If they’ve set a date, but not confirmed , as much as maybe the guy should confirm/ask/follow up, there still nothing wrong with your friend just dropping message (at least for the first time) to see if your still on. Saves any confusion. If they keep seeing each other, but he doesn’t confirm when a dates set then that’s something to pick up whe. Talking to him.
Or from your last bit “he still didn’t speak on the date” do you mean they went on the date, but it didn’t go as good as the first?
Assuming it’s the first bit, the most worrying thing is the double texting and “telling her not to ignore him”. If he was being really aggressive and domineering and demanding in this messages then definitely a huge huge red flag and she should probably end it there, tell him she’s not interested, doesn’t see it going anywhere and say goodbye. Defo should not drag it out anymore. That’s a huge overreaction at best that not warranted given what’s happened, and signs of dangerous behaviour.
If it’s more ‘polite’ and kinda of ‘noticed you’ve not been saying much’ etc and (you can get a good sense of tone from the message) then worth just explaining / clarifying with him why that is. but if you’re friends not sure it’s better to just cut ties an avoid potentially wasting time energy and effort.
If it’s the second one, basically a poor date, then time to just end it there and move on.
If they’ve set a date, but not confirmed , as much as maybe the guy should confirm/ask/follow up, there still nothing wrong with your friend just dropping message (at least for the first time) to see if your still on. Saves any confusion. If they keep seeing each other, but he doesn’t confirm when a dates set then that’s something to pick up whe. Talking to him.
This guys sounds like trouble 🤔
This is coming from someone straightforward with dating but yeah she needs to confront him about it because why want a guy when he's hard to read and i agree with other comments where there is red flags but if she likes him, but she will need to set boundaries
Original post by Anonymous
A little confused cos you keep saying date on, but I think what you’re saying is basically, they have a second date planned, but he’s not confirmed and your friend is unsure if it’s still going ahead. They’ve been messaging each other, and their talking on the day the second date is meant to happen, but no mention of the actual date?
Or from your last bit “he still didn’t speak on the date” do you mean they went on the date, but it didn’t go as good as the first?
Assuming it’s the first bit, the most worrying thing is the double texting and “telling her not to ignore him”. If he was being really aggressive and domineering and demanding in this messages then definitely a huge huge red flag and she should probably end it there, tell him she’s not interested, doesn’t see it going anywhere and say goodbye. Defo should not drag it out anymore. That’s a huge overreaction at best that not warranted given what’s happened, and signs of dangerous behaviour.
If it’s more ‘polite’ and kinda of ‘noticed you’ve not been saying much’ etc and (you can get a good sense of tone from the message) then worth just explaining / clarifying with him why that is. but if you’re friends not sure it’s better to just cut ties an avoid potentially wasting time energy and effort.
If it’s the second one, basically a poor date, then time to just end it there and move on.
If they’ve set a date, but not confirmed , as much as maybe the guy should confirm/ask/follow up, there still nothing wrong with your friend just dropping message (at least for the first time) to see if your still on. Saves any confusion. If they keep seeing each other, but he doesn’t confirm when a dates set then that’s something to pick up whe. Talking to him.
Or from your last bit “he still didn’t speak on the date” do you mean they went on the date, but it didn’t go as good as the first?
Assuming it’s the first bit, the most worrying thing is the double texting and “telling her not to ignore him”. If he was being really aggressive and domineering and demanding in this messages then definitely a huge huge red flag and she should probably end it there, tell him she’s not interested, doesn’t see it going anywhere and say goodbye. Defo should not drag it out anymore. That’s a huge overreaction at best that not warranted given what’s happened, and signs of dangerous behaviour.
If it’s more ‘polite’ and kinda of ‘noticed you’ve not been saying much’ etc and (you can get a good sense of tone from the message) then worth just explaining / clarifying with him why that is. but if you’re friends not sure it’s better to just cut ties an avoid potentially wasting time energy and effort.
If it’s the second one, basically a poor date, then time to just end it there and move on.
If they’ve set a date, but not confirmed , as much as maybe the guy should confirm/ask/follow up, there still nothing wrong with your friend just dropping message (at least for the first time) to see if your still on. Saves any confusion. If they keep seeing each other, but he doesn’t confirm when a dates set then that’s something to pick up whe. Talking to him.
It was the first one
He's not a mind reader. He doesn't know what her problem is and why she is reacting the way she is. He will likely think she is being funny and potentially even see it as a red flag - that she has problematic behaviour. He won't want to play silly guessing games as to why she ignored his text or whatever.
Just make it simple, if she doesn't know what she wants to know then just ask him, it's that simple. There's no 'its is job' pretentious rubbish, she needs to come down of her high horse and stop taking up ridiculous positioning. In a relationship communication is very important to make the relationship work so it's both partners job to communicate with each other. The moment she doesn't know something she should ask it's that easy. Carrying on in a silly manner by ignoring text will only make things not work, is that what she wants? Some people are not the greatest communicators or just forget stuff or aren't that aware. Better to help them out by asking than making things difficult. He'll just think she's a bit odd even possible mentally unstable by doing what she's doing as in one moment the communication was ok the next she turned funny for no apparent reason from his perspective.
Just make it simple, if she doesn't know what she wants to know then just ask him, it's that simple. There's no 'its is job' pretentious rubbish, she needs to come down of her high horse and stop taking up ridiculous positioning. In a relationship communication is very important to make the relationship work so it's both partners job to communicate with each other. The moment she doesn't know something she should ask it's that easy. Carrying on in a silly manner by ignoring text will only make things not work, is that what she wants? Some people are not the greatest communicators or just forget stuff or aren't that aware. Better to help them out by asking than making things difficult. He'll just think she's a bit odd even possible mentally unstable by doing what she's doing as in one moment the communication was ok the next she turned funny for no apparent reason from his perspective.
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