age difference- is it a problem?

so i am an 18 year old girl who turned 18 this year, and the reason i am asking this question is because the girl that i am interested in is 16, who turns 17 this year. i have argued with her on this topic so much to the point where i feel like i really need an unbiased opinion, but i dont feel comfortable speaking about it with friends in real life. i did speak to 1 friend about it who went through a similar situation, she was 19 he was 17, however idk if thats biased either lol.

so i feel like one thing i need to clear up is the fact that i am born early 2005 and she is born late 2006. it isn't a 2 year age gap, its like 1 year and 6-8 months, however when looking at it in school years for example, it would be 2 school years, for example year 10 and year 12 which i find gross to even think about. to her, this isn't an issue, as we do not live in the same country so our school systems don't work the same, but here in the uk, thats how it would be. in our situation it would be me just finishing year 13 and her just finishing year 11 which, again, i find weird. however, as i mentioned, thats not the same for her school- she said she could drop out and go to uni at her age, idk if this is true or not but idk.

another thing i feel i need to clear up is the fact that we are both girls, and i know, that comes across very sexist, but i have seen everywhere of research which says that girls mature quicker than guys, which in all honesty idk how truthful that research is, however this makes it harder for me to think about when thinking about maturity levels, as me personally i think she is very mature, and when ive looked at questions like this in the past its all been with straight couples, so i feel like it is the teeniest bit harder to compare to our situation however i could be entirely wrong and please tell me if i am. however, the point im trying to make here is that i think me and her are both equally as mature, maybe me a bit more only because i am an adult now basically.

i also feel the need to mention which may be the most important of all is that i wouldn't even start a relationship with her until she was 17 because i would feel more comfortable that way. also because i feel like i just want to know her better and see if it will last and waiting until jumping into anything. i also wanna say that when i first liked her i was 17 and she was 16, then we stopped speaking, i turned 18, and after we started talking again and the feelings came back. idk if that changes anything,... probably not. ive seen some people point out that if the 18y/o had feelings or got into a relationship with the 16y/o before they turned 18 then it isn't an issue, and although i did like her before i turned 18, we obviously didnt start a relationship and i also didn't know that the feelings were mutual until i told her like 2 months ago. (i also feel the need to point out here that i turned 18 3 months ago, she turned 16 like 6-8 months ago)

i also feel the need to mention again that we are from different countries, so it would be long distance. i most likely honestly wouldnt see her irl until she was 17/18 and i was 18/19. i feel the need to point this out due to like sexual relations in relationships, which i honestly havent even thought about until now due to the distance between us, but yeah it wouldnt happen at this age anyways.

anyways advice would really be appreciated, i know some people dont think that a nearly 2 year age gap isn't an issue however others do and id appreciate some advice. idk if i have stated in this but if i have im sayinf it again, i wouldn't get into a relationship with her until she was 17!

Reply 1

trs200101

5

I'm probably an expert in age gap relationships. My sister is 25, she met her husband when she was 18 through work and they started dating, he's going to be 40 soon. I'm 22 a female and I'm dating a woman whose 37. A 6-8 month age gap is completely fine, as long as you two love each other than that is all that matters.

Screw what anyone else thinks, as long as you guys make each other happy that's what matters. I get the "But she's under 18" part but she's old enough to make her own decisions.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

18 and 16 is fine. As long as you don’t exchange those types of photos. Half age plus seven rule also suggests that it’s firm.

Reply 3

arialaur942

OP

1

Original post by trs200101

I'm probably an expert in age gap relationships. My sister is 25, she met her husband when she was 18 through work and they started dating, he's going to be 40 soon. I'm 22 a female and I'm dating a woman whose 37. A 6-8 month age gap is completely fine, as long as you two love each other than that is all that matters.

Screw what anyone else thinks, as long as you guys make each other happy that's what matters. I get the "But she's under 18" part but she's old enough to make her own decisions.

thank you so much for the reply!! what age did you and your wife meet? and do you know if she feels weird of how people view the age gap or anything? sorry if that’s an intruding question.

and it’s not just a 6-8 month gap it’s 1 year and 6-8 months, sorry about the confusion

Reply 4

arialaur942

OP

1

Original post by Anonymous

18 and 16 is fine. As long as you don’t exchange those types of photos. Half age plus seven rule also suggests that it’s firm.

thanks for the reply :smile:

i definitely wouldn’t send those types of photos so yeah i’m not concerned about that! what’s the half age plus seven rule?

Reply 5

Ariichu

11

Original post by arialaur942

thanks for the reply :smile:

i definitely wouldn’t send those types of photos so yeah i’m not concerned about that! what’s the half age plus seven rule?

Yea the half age plus 7 rule is the minimum age u can date, its a bit of a stupid rule imo. I think you're fine, 2005 and 2006 isnt that far apart, just be sensible

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by arialaur942

thanks for the reply :smile:

i definitely wouldn’t send those types of photos so yeah i’m not concerned about that! what’s the half age plus seven rule?

It says the minimum age you can date. Half of 18 = 9 + 7 = 16. I don't think it's a good rule anyway. But to answer your question there's nothing wrong with the age gap as long as you are both happy as you're 16+. If you feel more comfortable to wait when she is 17, then do that.

Reply 7

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by arialaur942

thanks for the reply :smile:

i definitely wouldn’t send those types of photos so yeah i’m not concerned about that! what’s the half age plus seven rule?

Original post by Ariichu

Yea the half age plus 7 rule is the minimum age u can date, its a bit of a stupid rule imo. I think you're fine, 2005 and 2006 isnt that far apart, just be sensible

Original post by Anonymous

It says the minimum age you can date. Half of 18 = 9 + 7 = 16. I don't think it's a good rule anyway. But to answer your question there's nothing wrong with the age gap as long as you are both happy as you're 16+. If you feel more comfortable to wait when she is 17, then do that.

That rule is only a guide...as to what is typically an acceptable age gap for two adults from societies P.O.V. It's not law or set in stone... it's only there so if, say, someone was concerned about being called something like a Cradle-Snatcher; a Toy-Boy; a Cougar; a "Dirty Old Man" etc. they can use that rule to (supposedly) avoid being classed as such.

The rule is meant for adults and doesn't really apply to teenagers anyway. For example, if someone was 13, according to that rule, they shouldn't be dating anyone less than 14 & 1/2 (really?!? :eek3:

)

As long as both parties are over 16, then it's legal; however it comes with several caveats if one person is under the age of 18. Therefore most adults will have a "hard" (absolute) minimum age of 18.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Old Skool Freak

That rule is only a guide...as to what is typically an acceptable age gap for two adults from societies P.O.V. It's not law or set in stone... it's only there so if, say, someone was concerned about being called something like a Cradle-Snatcher; a Toy-Boy; a Cougar; a "Dirty Old Man" etc. they can use that rule to (supposedly) avoid being classed as such.

The rule is meant for adults and doesn't really apply to teenagers anyway. For example, if someone was 13, according to that rule, they shouldn't be dating anyone less than 14 & 1/2 (really?!? :eek3:

)

As long as both parties are over 16, then it's legal; however it comes with several caveats if one person is under the age of 18. Therefore most adults will have a "hard" (absolute) minimum age of 18.

But this isn't for a 13 year old though is it? We are talking about an 18 year old. That rule is generally used for 18+ as in this scenario.

Reply 9

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous

But this isn't for a 13 year old though is it? We are talking about an 18 year old. That rule is generally used for 18+ as in this scenario.

I know it's not. I'm just pointing it out that it doesn't really work for younger teenagers. It's more aimed at those who said it's a stupid / flawed rule; I personally think it works if you've got concerns about how your age gap may be perceived from societies point of view.

Obviously, you can ignore it, if you're the sort of person who doesn't care what others think about you (provided both are of legal age, of course) .

age difference- is it a problem?

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