She was madly in love with me and now isn't and I want her back
I met this girl a couple of years ago and we began talking. It’s going to sound bad, and I’m sorry that it does but I’ve since learnt a lot – please bear in mind this was two years ago. I was talking to a few other girls at the time when I started talking to her. I’m not a bad person and I’m not uneducated either.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
Original post by Anonymous
I met this girl a couple of years ago and we began talking. It’s going to sound bad, and I’m sorry that it does but I’ve since learnt a lot – please bear in mind this was two years ago. I was talking to a few other girls at the time when I started talking to her. I’m not a bad person and I’m not uneducated either.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
Your loss is another person gain
If you really are sincere... then just go after her. Be honest with her, own up to your mistakes. Tell her how you feel about her but don't go too deep in explaining your past mistakes. Girls don't really like guys over-explaining their mistakes because you would just sound like you're justifying with reasons that you think are plausible and that you're not apologetic enough for your past mistakes.
She seems like she wants a proper relationship. Love alone might just not be a good enough reason for her to start a relationship with you if she doesn't believe that you've changed. You have to understand that she doesn't want to be with you now because you probably can't provide her the sense of security she needs. You promising things with words only is not enough. Show that you've stopped talking to other girls. Show that you care for her. Show that you're sincere in your *actions* and that you're doing these not just to 'win' her back but to show that you're ready for a proper relationship with somebody you genuinely like.
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too
but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy.
And finally, if you're not willing to put effort, then just forget it. She'll move on.
If you are sincere, then good luck mate
She seems like she wants a proper relationship. Love alone might just not be a good enough reason for her to start a relationship with you if she doesn't believe that you've changed. You have to understand that she doesn't want to be with you now because you probably can't provide her the sense of security she needs. You promising things with words only is not enough. Show that you've stopped talking to other girls. Show that you care for her. Show that you're sincere in your *actions* and that you're doing these not just to 'win' her back but to show that you're ready for a proper relationship with somebody you genuinely like.
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too
but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy. And finally, if you're not willing to put effort, then just forget it. She'll move on.
If you are sincere, then good luck mate
Yeah so it’s her decision mate. Tell her how you feel by all means, but **** off if she says no.
Original post by Anonymous
If you really are sincere... then just go after her. Be honest with her, own up to your mistakes. Tell her how you feel about her but don't go too deep in explaining your past mistakes. Girls don't really like guys over-explaining their mistakes because you would just sound like you're justifying with reasons that you think are plausible and that you're not apologetic enough for your past mistakes.
She seems like she wants a proper relationship. Love alone might just not be a good enough reason for her to start a relationship with you if she doesn't believe that you've changed. You have to understand that she doesn't want to be with you now because you probably can't provide her the sense of security she needs. You promising things with words only is not enough. Show that you've stopped talking to other girls. Show that you care for her. Show that you're sincere in your *actions* and that you're doing these not just to 'win' her back but to show that you're ready for a proper relationship with somebody you genuinely like.
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy.
And finally, if you're not willing to put effort, then just forget it. She'll move on.
If you are sincere, then good luck mate
She seems like she wants a proper relationship. Love alone might just not be a good enough reason for her to start a relationship with you if she doesn't believe that you've changed. You have to understand that she doesn't want to be with you now because you probably can't provide her the sense of security she needs. You promising things with words only is not enough. Show that you've stopped talking to other girls. Show that you care for her. Show that you're sincere in your *actions* and that you're doing these not just to 'win' her back but to show that you're ready for a proper relationship with somebody you genuinely like.
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too
but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy. And finally, if you're not willing to put effort, then just forget it. She'll move on.
If you are sincere, then good luck mate
Sure. I've noted. I will message her later and see what becomes of it.
I'm not a bad person - and I genuinely and sincerely regret what I done. I just didn't value her when we had our relationship.
Original post by Anonymous
I met this girl a couple of years ago and we began talking. It’s going to sound bad, and I’m sorry that it does but I’ve since learnt a lot – please bear in mind this was two years ago. I was talking to a few other girls at the time when I started talking to her. I’m not a bad person and I’m not uneducated either.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
If she says no, then its time to move on. If you really want her back you have to mean it. Its going to take a long time for her to trust you, and your'e not getting back with her because you 'miss her' but you deep down truely love her too.
Original post by Anonymous
I met this girl a couple of years ago and we began talking. It’s going to sound bad, and I’m sorry that it does but I’ve since learnt a lot – please bear in mind this was two years ago. I was talking to a few other girls at the time when I started talking to her. I’m not a bad person and I’m not uneducated either.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
We had a relationship of sorts but if I can be honest, she was madly in love with me and I simply wasn’t. She told me how much she loved me, many many times, that we would be together forever and that I was hers. She wasn’t aware of the other girls as such, but she knew other girls were interested in me and it would make her mad when they gave me attention (bless her). I was talking to other girls during our relationship, she always suspected but never fully believed it. I think I was enjoying the attention too much to say something. I appreciate I was leading her on of sorts, she was obsessed with me, infatuated and I suppose it made me feel good so I kept it going, pretending to “love” her as she loved me.
But fast forward to now, she basically found me out that I was messing her about the whole time and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. But now I’ve now become quite fond of her and I like her. I also made the mistake of letting some of my mates see our messages – but that was at the start but that’s pretty much stopped now. She somehow found out and became quite upset – these were very private messages. I realised that was a bad mistake and if I could go back I wouldn’t have done that.
She says she made a big mistake with me and I appreciate it appears that way but I really want her to realise that people change, that people can learn from their mistakes. I think she’s too hurt and upset to hear me out. I do like her now, and I am very much willing to drop the other girls to be with her forever just like she used to say to me. I’d even be prepared to let her go on my phone whenever she wants.
I would really appreciate from a girl’s perspective on how I should go about fixing this relationship. She keeps saying she made a mistake and I’ve done so many wrong things but I can see she still loves me deep down when we meet. I don’t understand how she can tell me she’s made a bad choice with me whilst we’re holding hands. She still has all those feelings, surely she would want to give me another shot – properly this time.
I would appreciate from a girl’s perspective how to make her understand that I will take her seriously this time. Any advice on how I could rectify the mistakes and start again new with her. I’m sure there’s something there, otherwise she would have completely ignored me right? I’m sorry if it makes me sound bad, that was the old me, I realised my past mistakes and learnt from them.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but i think you've blown it.
From my experience, once a girl has decided you're not BF material, it's an almost impossible task to change her mind. Any conscious effort from your part is likely to make you seem either desperate or pushy; either way, you'll only end up re-enforcing her conclusions about you. The only real exception to the above is if there was something like a lie / rumour going around about you, or if she completely got something wrong. As she's found out that you were texting other girls (which you were doing AND you didn't tell her / own up), then this pretty much eliminates that possibility
How can you be sure she still likes you and you're not deluded, or seeing thing you want to see? On the other hand, maybe you are right and she does... but the trust element is completely gone. Perhaps it may have been different if you had been up front about it in the first instance, but in order for a relationship to be successful, she needs to be confident that you're not going to s*** on her and break her heart. Don't get me wrong, if you say you've changed, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt... but I'm not the one you have to convince. How you can prove to her you've changed is beyond me. From my experience, once the trust has gone, it's gone.
IMHO, realistically your best bet is to give her space and let her come around in her own time. There is no guarantee that she will... but if she still does like you, then there's a chance. If you can remain single through out that time, then that could be some evidence that you're genuine.
Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think that's realistic, given the history here.
Original post by Anonymous
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy.
And if she's too upset and unwilling to hear you out or see you... then respect her and give her some space too
but maybe just check in on her regularly (simple gestures maybe? so that you don't seem like you've given up) until she's ready. Things might backfire if you get too pushy. I would advise against actively checking up on her, if she's upset and unwilling to hear from him. This will just make him seem like a pest she can't get rid of... or worse still, stalkerish. It's different to if she's unsure. Maybe if they have each other on Social Media, he could make sure all his updates are "clean" (e.g. not getting drunk or getting off with random girls etc.) She'll keep an eye on his updates if she has any kind of interest in him.
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