A woman I had a flirt with ruined my later job application - love-hate or jealousy?

Why would you be getting in touch with them again?

What evidence do you have that they spoke about your application?

Most of the time cheating spouses don't divorce their partner unless the partner finds out. She has you dangling on a string and also sabotaged your application so I can't fathom why you would want to remain involved with her and on good terms. She's a huge red flag and has already manipulated you career-wise. Also, even if she were to get a divorce and get with you, she's cheated with you so could easily cheat on you.

^ Ngl, sounds like you’re completely blinded and not much point for the thread when you’ve already made your mind up.

I can take my own moral decisions. But answer this ,why would she behave possessive and jealous if she isn't crazy about me, literally.

Now Imagine having sex with that person.

We must have very different tastes because I would personally never have sex with a cheater or remain in contact with someone who sabotaged my work application.

I can also die tommorow. Let's live in the moment shall we? And this is not a normal connection. It's magical. I'm talking soulmate level.

Also, she has been with her man since she was a late teen, and she's 34... Something really happened here. she doesn't love him anymore. Doesn't want to mention him to anyone, hides her martial status to him om Facebook (he doesn't om hus). Someone close to her told me she changed after getting kids. She is not the person I described according to him....so she fell in love with me.

Her friend wrote in the reply that it pertained to the job. Very formal and dry.

I used to work for my flirt, even though we had more of a romantic relationship than working one, to say the least. She never felt like my boss and she didn't talk to me like one.

Anyway I love My flirt so I don't rule her out when she gets a divorce (it's a matter of when, not if). She was jealous at work too. Her feelings are strong.

But maybe this episode is it for us? Would you be surprised if we patch things up?

The thing that annoys me is that I might be taken once she finally breaks free of her marriage.. i would prefer, if we get together, that it happens within 6 months from now. That's what buggs me

I think you are trying to justify this. She of course will say all of that to get with another guy. I agree with Sorcerer of Old, if she cheats on one guy she will do again. She will give the same looks of affection, eye flirting and agreeableness to the next guy after you.

The last thing that Marriage needs is you swimming around. Go find a single girl who you are attracted too, there are loads out there. Once you move on from one girl, another will pop up without having to wait too long.

What about the kids in all of this? It's not all about you, her and her husband. I am grateful for having a childhood without some geezer sniffing around causing upset, distress and breaking my family up. She made her choice and for the kids sake should stick by it and not put herself first.

Then of course there is the husband, if it comes out that you have been messing around who's to say that he won't be out to beat you black & blue. After all you are p*ssing on his life here. If he sees that as screwing his life up then he could be likely to come after you as after all in that case he may see it as him having nothing to lose and feel much antagonism towards you.

I would just put this out of your mind, the ins and the outs and move on. Do something decent and let the kids have a nice childhood. After all if you were the husband how would you feel about some other guy moving onto your turf.

This is why there is pitfalls in mixing work and romance as well as just deserts for home wrecking ways

She made her choice to get married to her husband and she made her choice to have kids. She needs to face up to the responsibility of making those choices.

If someone always wants to be where happiness is they will move on as soon as they are no longer getting that happiness. That will happen time and again as she gets bored with the guy she is with.

Think, do you really want to be adopting someone else's family? Two kids doesn't often leave want to have more. Why not find a woman you can have your own family with? Better than some messy, awful situation being caused with someone else's kids knocking around, husband visitation issues, or angry ex-husband after your blood.

She can make all the excuses under the sun to have things the way she would like, but in the end a selfish decision to suit her or you won't do any good. Think of how upset the children may be when fallout from your involvement all goes down. Do them all a favour, stop sniffing around and seeking justification for involving yourself and leave them well alone.