I’m scared

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

Reply 1

username5955039

21

Original post by Anonymous

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

Why does it depend on you having a drink

Reply 2

Atthe4

1

Original post by Anonymous

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

You're there for education, get serious. You'll find like minded people along the way.

Reply 3

StriderHort

21

Student booze culture isn't what it used to be, you'll find plenty of sober people and activities.

Reply 4

Sparu

Original post by Anonymous

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

It’s normal to feel a bit nervous to start with, but try not to overthink it :smile:

In general, people nice, and really open to meeting new people/friends at uni. Especially during freshers.

I was a student rep/buddy in my 2nd/3rd years and there are plenty of people who feel the same as you, so you’re not on your own.

You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to. Just politely decline if offered and leave it at that. No need to explain if you don’t want to.

You’ll likely find other people who don’t drink anyway. But even if you don’t, you can still have plenty of fun doing drinking-associated activities sober (speaking as a t-totaler myself).

A few tips from which may help:

- Get in touch with your Students Union before you start and let them know how your feeling. They may have some other resources/suggestions.

- Be proactive: Put yourself out there. Knock on doors and say hello to your house/flatmates on the first day. Try to stay positive/friendly. You could open with an invite to do something (e.g. going into Cardiff to explore/get your bearings a few days later or at the weekend)

- Try new things: Go to the Freshers fair/events, and see if there’s any clubs/societies you’d like to join, or sports/activities you’d like to have a go at.

- Cast your net wide: Say yes to invites for social gatherings (likely, flat parties), and SU events, as they’ll help widen your social net and opportunities to make friends.
Don’t be picky too about who you connect with during freshers. Even if you’re not enamoured with someone, you might hit it off with one of their friends/flatmates/course-mates.

- Make yourself easy to include: Open accounts on the main social networks (if you don’t already have them).
This helps when you meet people as you can swap socials and stay in touch, and invite each other in things.

- Good listeners make good friends.: We all remember people who were engaging / fun to talk to.
Try take an interest in what people chat to you about, ask questions, and avoid focusing on yourself too much (I was pretty bad at the last bit initially, but still made lots of friends)

- Be yourself: Some people see going to uni as an opportunity to ‘reinvent’ themselves; but just remember, you’re better off being authentic than playing a character.

- Give yourself a break: be kind to yourself and try not to worry/ruminate about things.

Good luck!

(edited 8 months ago)

Original post by Anonymous

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

Hey!

I understand how scary it can be! But echoing what's been said above, there'll be a lot of people there who feel the same as you! Universities also tend to do a lot of non-drinking events during freshers week, and societies/clubs will normally have both drinking and non-drinking socials, so you can still join in even if you don't drink. I also found some of my most long-lasting friendships were actually my flatmates in first year and then people I met on my course in seminars! So please don't stress, everyone is really keen to make friends in the first year anyway so I'm sure you'll be okay! :smile:

Best of luck with everything!

Natalie
University of Kent Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I’m going to cardiff uni for my first year in uni and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends because I don’t drink, I don’t like clubbing and I just hate that whole idea. I scared that I won’t be able to find people who are likeminded and be lonely. Any ideas on what I could do?

Hi Anon,

Making friends is daunting already, but feeling like you're not 'the norm' by not drinking or clubbing makes it feel so much worse! You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, and I thought the exact same before I went into my first year of university.

However, there are so many people who don't drink or go clubbing. There's loads of events and opportunities that don't revolve around this, including Welcome Week events, sports and societies non-drinking socials, and there's likely to be lots of things you can do in and around your city. You'll meet people in your accommodation, on your course, and around campus and the city who are like-minded, so don't worry!

It has already been said, but I'd also recommend putting yourself out there as much as you can at the beginning of your first year (and throughout university)! You'll meet so many different people - some you will click with, and some you won't - but it will be a great experience. Be kind to yourself, and remember to take breaks and do things you enjoy.

Best of luck!
Isabella

Reply 7

Zanquele

3

Original post by StriderHort

Student booze culture isn't what it used to be, you'll find plenty of sober people and activities.