My sister won't go into school
She is 14 years old and has started year 10, this has been a problem since she started at secondary school.
Every morning my parents walk in telling her to wake up and she says she will but she doesn't until the time is after school and then my parents start getting annoyed. Today (I'm 18 and share a room with my sister) I woke up at 9am to my mum telling my sister she has to go in otherwise she can't see her friends after school anymore.
And of course like my sister shouts.
Before the year started, my parents were also hassling her and telling her she better not act up before going to school which I though was just going to make her NOT go into school because she is gonna get hassled.
Anyway we have all tried asking her if she is okay but she mostly just doesn't reply as we recognise something is probably going on.
She has said small bits like she doesn't like the classes or the teachers but in my eyes if there is nothing serious going on it doesn't warrant such a reaction. She has also told me about certain social situations with friends but doesn't listen when I try to give advice.
She also hasn't been diagnosed but we all suspect she has ADHD as it is hereditary (suspected it for a while but my parents won't get an official diagnosis because we "already know she has ADHD") so that might also play a part.
My parents tried to solve the situation last year by taking her out of school to do homeschooling for around 6 months, but there was no schedule/structure and she learnt nothing. All she did was play roblox all day and only went out with friends maybe 3 times.
I thought it was stupid so I talked to my parents about it because its not helping her and I suggested she go back to school (but a different one) and it took a few weeks to get my point in.
When they talked to her about it they looked at other options, BETTER schools near us but were too far (by that I mean 10 mins by bus) and my sister didn't want to travel on a bus. For me personally I would have said tough luck it's a better school and will be more attentive to your needs but my parents were like okay go back to the school which caused the problems in the first place.
I discussed with my sister earlier this month and she was talking about it and she was saying how she was struggling with the content (because she missed out on a LOT) and how she doesn't like going back and I said I did suggest going to another school and she was like yeah and seemed to regret not listening.
What am I meant to do here to help her out so she goes into school or make life surrounding it easier for her?
It's really starting to wear down my mental health losing sleeping because I'm being woken up to shouting almost every morning she has school (one time it was 5am).
Don't say its not my business to get involved, she's my younger sister, It affects me too and frankly I don't believe my parents are doing a good job.
If you don't think it's my business don't even reply.
Every morning my parents walk in telling her to wake up and she says she will but she doesn't until the time is after school and then my parents start getting annoyed. Today (I'm 18 and share a room with my sister) I woke up at 9am to my mum telling my sister she has to go in otherwise she can't see her friends after school anymore.
And of course like my sister shouts.
Before the year started, my parents were also hassling her and telling her she better not act up before going to school which I though was just going to make her NOT go into school because she is gonna get hassled.
Anyway we have all tried asking her if she is okay but she mostly just doesn't reply as we recognise something is probably going on.
She has said small bits like she doesn't like the classes or the teachers but in my eyes if there is nothing serious going on it doesn't warrant such a reaction. She has also told me about certain social situations with friends but doesn't listen when I try to give advice.
She also hasn't been diagnosed but we all suspect she has ADHD as it is hereditary (suspected it for a while but my parents won't get an official diagnosis because we "already know she has ADHD") so that might also play a part.
My parents tried to solve the situation last year by taking her out of school to do homeschooling for around 6 months, but there was no schedule/structure and she learnt nothing. All she did was play roblox all day and only went out with friends maybe 3 times.
I thought it was stupid so I talked to my parents about it because its not helping her and I suggested she go back to school (but a different one) and it took a few weeks to get my point in.
When they talked to her about it they looked at other options, BETTER schools near us but were too far (by that I mean 10 mins by bus) and my sister didn't want to travel on a bus. For me personally I would have said tough luck it's a better school and will be more attentive to your needs but my parents were like okay go back to the school which caused the problems in the first place.
I discussed with my sister earlier this month and she was talking about it and she was saying how she was struggling with the content (because she missed out on a LOT) and how she doesn't like going back and I said I did suggest going to another school and she was like yeah and seemed to regret not listening.
What am I meant to do here to help her out so she goes into school or make life surrounding it easier for her?
It's really starting to wear down my mental health losing sleeping because I'm being woken up to shouting almost every morning she has school (one time it was 5am).
Don't say its not my business to get involved, she's my younger sister, It affects me too and frankly I don't believe my parents are doing a good job.
If you don't think it's my business don't even reply.
Original post by paigec21
She is 14 years old and has started year 10, this has been a problem since she started at secondary school.
Every morning my parents walk in telling her to wake up and she says she will but she doesn't until the time is after school and then my parents start getting annoyed. Today (I'm 18 and share a room with my sister) I woke up at 9am to my mum telling my sister she has to go in otherwise she can't see her friends after school anymore.
And of course like my sister shouts.
Before the year started, my parents were also hassling her and telling her she better not act up before going to school which I though was just going to make her NOT go into school because she is gonna get hassled.
Anyway we have all tried asking her if she is okay but she mostly just doesn't reply as we recognise something is probably going on.
She has said small bits like she doesn't like the classes or the teachers but in my eyes if there is nothing serious going on it doesn't warrant such a reaction. She has also told me about certain social situations with friends but doesn't listen when I try to give advice.
She also hasn't been diagnosed but we all suspect she has ADHD as it is hereditary (suspected it for a while but my parents won't get an official diagnosis because we "already know she has ADHD") so that might also play a part.
My parents tried to solve the situation last year by taking her out of school to do homeschooling for around 6 months, but there was no schedule/structure and she learnt nothing. All she did was play roblox all day and only went out with friends maybe 3 times.
I thought it was stupid so I talked to my parents about it because its not helping her and I suggested she go back to school (but a different one) and it took a few weeks to get my point in.
When they talked to her about it they looked at other options, BETTER schools near us but were too far (by that I mean 10 mins by bus) and my sister didn't want to travel on a bus. For me personally I would have said tough luck it's a better school and will be more attentive to your needs but my parents were like okay go back to the school which caused the problems in the first place.
I discussed with my sister earlier this month and she was talking about it and she was saying how she was struggling with the content (because she missed out on a LOT) and how she doesn't like going back and I said I did suggest going to another school and she was like yeah and seemed to regret not listening.
What am I meant to do here to help her out so she goes into school or make life surrounding it easier for her?
It's really starting to wear down my mental health losing sleeping because I'm being woken up to shouting almost every morning she has school (one time it was 5am).
Don't say its not my business to get involved, she's my younger sister, It affects me too and frankly I don't believe my parents are doing a good job.
If you don't think it's my business don't even reply.
Every morning my parents walk in telling her to wake up and she says she will but she doesn't until the time is after school and then my parents start getting annoyed. Today (I'm 18 and share a room with my sister) I woke up at 9am to my mum telling my sister she has to go in otherwise she can't see her friends after school anymore.
And of course like my sister shouts.
Before the year started, my parents were also hassling her and telling her she better not act up before going to school which I though was just going to make her NOT go into school because she is gonna get hassled.
Anyway we have all tried asking her if she is okay but she mostly just doesn't reply as we recognise something is probably going on.
She has said small bits like she doesn't like the classes or the teachers but in my eyes if there is nothing serious going on it doesn't warrant such a reaction. She has also told me about certain social situations with friends but doesn't listen when I try to give advice.
She also hasn't been diagnosed but we all suspect she has ADHD as it is hereditary (suspected it for a while but my parents won't get an official diagnosis because we "already know she has ADHD") so that might also play a part.
My parents tried to solve the situation last year by taking her out of school to do homeschooling for around 6 months, but there was no schedule/structure and she learnt nothing. All she did was play roblox all day and only went out with friends maybe 3 times.
I thought it was stupid so I talked to my parents about it because its not helping her and I suggested she go back to school (but a different one) and it took a few weeks to get my point in.
When they talked to her about it they looked at other options, BETTER schools near us but were too far (by that I mean 10 mins by bus) and my sister didn't want to travel on a bus. For me personally I would have said tough luck it's a better school and will be more attentive to your needs but my parents were like okay go back to the school which caused the problems in the first place.
I discussed with my sister earlier this month and she was talking about it and she was saying how she was struggling with the content (because she missed out on a LOT) and how she doesn't like going back and I said I did suggest going to another school and she was like yeah and seemed to regret not listening.
What am I meant to do here to help her out so she goes into school or make life surrounding it easier for her?
It's really starting to wear down my mental health losing sleeping because I'm being woken up to shouting almost every morning she has school (one time it was 5am).
Don't say its not my business to get involved, she's my younger sister, It affects me too and frankly I don't believe my parents are doing a good job.
If you don't think it's my business don't even reply.
Hiya, i understand that it’s affecting you both especially with sharing a room (i shared a room too till i was 16 with 2 of my sisters but now i only share when they’re not at uni)
I’m assuming the school is aware of your sisters issues with going into school and not getting up? They may be able to get her help in different ways. To help get her back into school they can put her on a reduced timetable, literally starting offf at just 1 hour a day so it’s less intimidating as she doesn’t have to think about being there the whole day to get her started on a regular schedule again. They can also arrange for her to have a card to go out of lessons if she needs to, if she gets overwhelmed or upset - or arranged seating plan where she can be by a door or near a friend (assuming that the school and your parents haven’t already given these options thst is)
Even tho the other school you suggested was better, i understand her not wanting to go on the bus each day. For me in KS3 when i had terrible anxiety that i was sick each morning before school, most of the worry came from knowing i had to get on a crowded bus with a bunch of other school kids, with limited escapes - so something like that could be part of her issue about not wanting to get a bus everyday, or wanting a route she’s familiar with.
To help with her school work, maybe you could help by sitting down with her and making a plan/list of all the things she has to catch up on to help organise it with her so it’s less intimidating?? If you understand the subjects maybe you could try go through it with her too, like get her to have a go on her own and then if she had troubles help her with it then and check things for her. You mentioned she may have ADHD, one of my sisters that has ADHD told us that she could only do her school work when me and my other sister were working in the room too i can’t remember the exact word she used for it i think it was body doubling?? But she said it was basically because she could see us getting on with our work, it made her do hers too since we weren’t doing anything fun (like listening to music or whatever), things that she’d rather have done instead. So maybe you could suggest working together but doing different things, so she’s got s bit of structure with her work and a sort of studdy buddy
That could work even if she’s doesn’t manage to go to school - when you get chance during the day ask if she’d like to make a small stsrt on a topic
I know that you having to help and sort of parent her could be a lot of work on yourself, but it might feel rewarding and will most likely help her a lot - and once she’s started going to school regularly again and a routine, catchin up with her work she might not need as much help from you. I had to help my younger brother organise himself and catch up on work a lot for his GCSEs, but once i’d done it and helped him for s few weeks he was ontop of everything and completed them which is a first for him. He didn’t want my help at the start even tho he was clearly getting stressed about it, once i just talked to him asking where he was struggling the most he became more open to the idea of getting help with it
Sorry i realised i waffled a lot reading it back lol, but i hope it can be useful and that your sister gets some help!! I hope your looking after yourself aswell too since it’s affecting you aswell
Original post by Bigfishytime
xxx
What would you suggest then?
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Tfl fare evasion- will I have go pay the price?
- I'm feeling guilty for loving living on my own - how do I handle this guilt?
- How do I talk to a guy 2/3 years older than me?
- Medicine in Europe - How do I get started?
- I want to move schools but my school and my parents are saying I shouldn't
- im so sick of this
- older sibling help
- My sister
- is it normal to be so astronomically depressed leaving for uni
- Sister wants to claim universal credit but mum won't allow her
- Spying on me
- Should I reach out to her?
- is this emotionally manipulative?
- Will I get into university even if I’m late everyday for secondary school?
- Using my second phone as a "secret main phone" at university.
- My dad is useless
- confiscated oyster
- Degree in Art? Is it really worth it?
- Should I throw away my GCSE and AS Level certificates?
- My sister's spread rumours about me at work
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?
