stress, marriage, arguments
ive known this guy for 5 years and we're getting married and we've been having a lot of arguments our wedding is soon too. the arguments are so petty but it makes me want to smack my head on the wall. it makes me sad and we've never been like this idk what to do
Original post by Anonymous #1
ive known this guy for 5 years and we're getting married and we've been having a lot of arguments our wedding is soon too. the arguments are so petty but it makes me want to smack my head on the wall. it makes me sad and we've never been like this idk what to do
That's a big red flag.
Marriage is supposed to be cementing a relationship for life (let's avoid the religious side of it). Of course not all of them are permanent these days. But you should ask yourself: do you really want to proceed? Regular bickering (even if it's casual or petty) is not a good foundation. Once the cracks begin to show it's likely emotions will escalate and the entire building (relationship) crumbles. Then you've got the sometimes messy situation of divorce, which can include splitting finances (I don't know your situation) amongst other things.
Original post by Anonymous928384
That's a big red flag.
Marriage is supposed to be cementing a relationship for life (let's avoid the religious side of it). Of course not all of them are permanent these days. But you should ask yourself: do you really want to proceed? Regular bickering (even if it's casual or petty) is not a good foundation. Once the cracks begin to show it's likely emotions will escalate and the entire building (relationship) crumbles. Then you've got the sometimes messy situation of divorce, which can include splitting finances (I don't know your situation) amongst other things.
Marriage is supposed to be cementing a relationship for life (let's avoid the religious side of it). Of course not all of them are permanent these days. But you should ask yourself: do you really want to proceed? Regular bickering (even if it's casual or petty) is not a good foundation. Once the cracks begin to show it's likely emotions will escalate and the entire building (relationship) crumbles. Then you've got the sometimes messy situation of divorce, which can include splitting finances (I don't know your situation) amongst other things.
the thing is the arguments are so pathetic and I do love him its just idk why we keep fighting over useless stuff we're both getting upset about it too
Original post by Anonymous #1
the thing is the arguments are so pathetic and I do love him its just idk why we keep fighting over useless stuff we're both getting upset about it too
I see. I've been in a long term relationship with my gf (known each other 10 years, dated for 5). We do occasionally have a 'petty spat' - that is, maybe a misunderstanding, or even a disagreement. But it doesn't go to personal insults. And it's few or far between, maybe once every two month or so? And it never escalates.
Of course, I don't want you to gauge your relationship based off of mine. But we are future wedding candidates, we get along 99.5% of the time, and I like to think it's a reasonable relationship. I know marriages do have disagreements and arguing, but so early on before the marriage? It's not a good sign, in my opinion.
Do not harbor illusions that all your petty disagreements will disappear by the wave of a magic wand after the wedding. Try to apply the following advice before marriage:
Communication is Key: Open, honest communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when dealing with conflicts. Sit down with your partner and calmly discuss your concerns. Try to understand each other's perspectives and find common ground.
Identify the Root Cause: Sometimes, petty arguments can stem from underlying issues or stressors. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing tension between you and your partner. Are there external factors, such as wedding planning stress, family pressure, or personal challenges, contributing to the arguments?
Seek Compromise: Compromise is essential in resolving conflicts. Both partners should be willing to make concessions and find solutions that work for both of you. Avoid focusing on who is right or wrong and instead focus on finding a resolution that strengthens your relationship.
Consider Professional Help: If you find it challenging to resolve conflicts on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A trained professional can provide unbiased guidance, teach you effective communication techniques, and help you navigate through challenging times.
Focus on the Positive: Remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Reflect on the positive aspects of your relationship and the reasons you chose to get married. Keep the bigger picture in mind and work together to overcome obstacles as a team.
Take Care of Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care during stressful times. Make sure to take breaks, engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and seek support from friends and family members.
Keep Perspective: Remember that all relationships have ups and downs, and it's normal to experience conflicts, especially during significant life events like planning a wedding. Stay patient, remain committed to each other, and focus on building a strong foundation for your marriage.
Ultimately, navigating through arguments and challenges can strengthen your relationship if approached with understanding, patience, and a willingness to work together as a team.
And if it doesn't work in your case, then be honest with yourself about why you need all this.
Communication is Key: Open, honest communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when dealing with conflicts. Sit down with your partner and calmly discuss your concerns. Try to understand each other's perspectives and find common ground.
Identify the Root Cause: Sometimes, petty arguments can stem from underlying issues or stressors. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing tension between you and your partner. Are there external factors, such as wedding planning stress, family pressure, or personal challenges, contributing to the arguments?
Seek Compromise: Compromise is essential in resolving conflicts. Both partners should be willing to make concessions and find solutions that work for both of you. Avoid focusing on who is right or wrong and instead focus on finding a resolution that strengthens your relationship.
Consider Professional Help: If you find it challenging to resolve conflicts on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A trained professional can provide unbiased guidance, teach you effective communication techniques, and help you navigate through challenging times.
Focus on the Positive: Remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Reflect on the positive aspects of your relationship and the reasons you chose to get married. Keep the bigger picture in mind and work together to overcome obstacles as a team.
Take Care of Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care during stressful times. Make sure to take breaks, engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and seek support from friends and family members.
Keep Perspective: Remember that all relationships have ups and downs, and it's normal to experience conflicts, especially during significant life events like planning a wedding. Stay patient, remain committed to each other, and focus on building a strong foundation for your marriage.
Ultimately, navigating through arguments and challenges can strengthen your relationship if approached with understanding, patience, and a willingness to work together as a team.
And if it doesn't work in your case, then be honest with yourself about why you need all this.
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