Hi,
I wonder if you guys might be able to advise or give me a suggestion, here goes-
I've been seeing someone for threes years and it seems like now we have broken up. The guy can't seem to commit to me, but always goes around flirting with and trying to get with other girls, so it made me crazy and I just wanted to end it which i believe its over now, but the guy still wants to give us another chance.
During the time we were together, I always did my best to help him- such as listening to him when he didn't get along with his dad and his dad having alcohol problems, and also helping him with his coursework and homework and studying for tests and exams as he can't focus too much on things and he often gets distracted. I even always used to give up my time just to help him and be there for him, and use my money to buy him things like clothes and school stuff and his textbooks.
Well I've been doing some reflecting upon myself and I feel that the reason I always did what i did was to always keep him with me so I don't feel alone or I'm not lonely. Even after all he did to me to hurt me by cheating on me and then talking about him flirting with girls, I still didn't want to lose him. I would even say things like 'I love you so much but you can't even see that'. However, thinking about it now, maybe it just wasn't love, maybe it was just me being afraid to lose him and afraid of being alone. Perhaps I did all those things, all the things he wanted just so that he will stay with me.
With him saying that he want to give us another chance and to try to make it work this time, well should I tell him about how I feel or what I've come to realise after reflecting on my actions? I mean it does sound like I am selfish in a way (doing all the things he wanted just so that he stays with me), but I think I should at least let him know that maybe it wasn't love i felt for him, i mean there must have been love I felt in some way, but it mostly wasn't that I believe.