The Student Room Group

im feeling lost and hopeless for my future

okay, this might be long, so i truly appreciate anyone willing to give advice and i am very sorry if ive wasted anyones time.

im 17, i turn 18 this year (2024). i started college last year, despite not wanting to, because i had just moved to a whole new area and couldnt find work.

since i was 13, i have severely suffered in an academic environment. i am extremely intelligent academically, but suffered in grades and attendence due to debilitating mental illness. i had a psychotic break in october of 2022, when i was in year 11, and it was deemed by my school and others that it was safer for me and the people around me if i studied at home and did my GCSEs in a private area at school. issue is, i was promised online work and did not receive it until 2 weeks before my GCSEs. that coupled with my lack of attendance meant i was quite literally guessing theoughout my exams. i managed to pass all my core subjects with 4s, and i was higher tier.

then, when i applied for college, i could not apply for the a-levels due to my gcses. i asked to re-do my gcses, they said no, and i had no choice but to pick two BTEC subjects i didnt even want to do and join a college i never even wanted to go to.

now, im stuck. im jobless and close to being kicked out of school because my mental illness issues are severely impacting my attendence and ability to meet deadlines. again, my work is university quality (according to my teachers), but im failing in areas requiring motivation and mental energy. i have no friends (literally), and i am DESPERATE for a job. i love to work so so much, but have no experience as everything ive done has been for family (e.g. helping in a sweet shop my parents owned, babysitting my niece). i have been applying for jobs since april 2023 daily, and yet have only heard back from three - all to reject me. i consistently update my CV and cover letter, i do follow up emails if a company does not get back to me, i apply to places both online and in person, NOTHING. if i cant find a job and get kicked out of school, i lose my child benefit and my parents cant afford to house me without it. i NEED a job and i dont know what im doing wrong.

does anyone have any advice? im starting to feel hopeless. truly, utterly, hopeless.
Reply 1
I empathize with the challenges you have faced and your constant struggle is truly commendable. I am sorry if I missed something but have you tried getting some professional help ( I can understand if you can't finance it but maybe it will go a long way in helping you). You could try to communicate with your school's administration about your situation.
You could try taking only courses to refine your skill set or do volunteer work to improve your CV
You're burning the candle on both ends and I know it's tough right now but know that it will get better. Don't give up (cliche I know but just keep going because you sound like a very smart person and you shouldn't let your wonderful talents go to waste)

I know that without a support system, it's hard to get through all of this but know that someone is cheering you on somewhere in the world. You can do this and so much more.

(P.S Firstly, no you did not waste my time, always happy to help. Secondly, I know I wasn't of much help and didn't provide many solutions to your problems mostly because I am not at the same stage in life as you, and from what I gather, BTEC is the equivalent of A-Levels. I hope that I was able to provide you with some hope:smile:
I wish you well for your future and hope that this hard time just breezes by
Hi,

Sorry to hear your feeling like this, Hope all gets better soon.

From reading your post it seems like your very motivated and intelligent. Now you are in college, you cannot change anything about your GCSE'S other than focusing on your BTECS.

I hear a lot of people talk about wanting to resit their GCSE's, myself personally I focused on my present at the time, which was BTECS. I was very determined to not let my GCSE'S define me, whether that be for work or for further studies.
"i had no choice but to pick two BTEC subjects i didnt even want to do and join a college i never even wanted to go to."
Find yourself a method or something to get the work complete e.g Kanban for each assignment or module to help you complete the work.
Take this position you are in your life, in your stride. Own it. Only you can change the outcome.

And for applying to jobs, keep applying!!!
I would suggest once sending CV, call the recruiter ( if listed) as a follow up to show that you really want this role.
Keep sending follow up emails, if they haven't replied within 10 working days, move on to the next.
This will just keep building your strength and determination.

Why not phone your local council careers team to see the job roles they have to offer?
or Alternatively contact your college careers teams to runover your CV and help you tailor your cover letter to the role better?

Do you have a list of Context Action Result or Situation Task Action Response prepared?
These will support you in any interviews you recieve?

Hope everything goes well.
Best Wishes
Reply 3
Original post by Limpbiskit
I empathize with the challenges you have faced and your constant struggle is truly commendable. I am sorry if I missed something but have you tried getting some professional help ( I can understand if you can't finance it but maybe it will go a long way in helping you). You could try to communicate with your school's administration about your situation.
You could try taking only courses to refine your skill set or do volunteer work to improve your CV
You're burning the candle on both ends and I know it's tough right now but know that it will get better. Don't give up (cliche I know but just keep going because you sound like a very smart person and you shouldn't let your wonderful talents go to waste)

I know that without a support system, it's hard to get through all of this but know that someone is cheering you on somewhere in the world. You can do this and so much more.

(P.S Firstly, no you did not waste my time, always happy to help. Secondly, I know I wasn't of much help and didn't provide many solutions to your problems mostly because I am not at the same stage in life as you, and from what I gather, BTEC is the equivalent of A-Levels. I hope that I was able to provide you with some hope:smile:
I wish you well for your future and hope that this hard time just breezes by

thank you for taking the time to read and respond

ive been in and out of professional support since i was maybe 10? but ive been in the more advanced stuff since my breakdown. every time i get a new counsellor, the sessions end with no progress made and they leave me and i have to wait a few months to even see someone again :frown:

ill try look into some volunteer work again. what put me off originally is i was even being rejected by volunteer roles, so i gave up 😭😭 but no, ill persevere and try apply for more

thank you again, truly.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous_198
Hi,

Sorry to hear your feeling like this, Hope all gets better soon.

From reading your post it seems like your very motivated and intelligent. Now you are in college, you cannot change anything about your GCSE'S other than focusing on your BTECS.

I hear a lot of people talk about wanting to resit their GCSE's, myself personally I focused on my present at the time, which was BTECS. I was very determined to not let my GCSE'S define me, whether that be for work or for further studies.
"i had no choice but to pick two BTEC subjects i didnt even want to do and join a college i never even wanted to go to."
Find yourself a method or something to get the work complete e.g Kanban for each assignment or module to help you complete the work.
Take this position you are in your life, in your stride. Own it. Only you can change the outcome.

And for applying to jobs, keep applying!!!
I would suggest once sending CV, call the recruiter ( if listed) as a follow up to show that you really want this role.
Keep sending follow up emails, if they haven't replied within 10 working days, move on to the next.
This will just keep building your strength and determination.

Why not phone your local council careers team to see the job roles they have to offer?
or Alternatively contact your college careers teams to runover your CV and help you tailor your cover letter to the role better?

Do you have a list of Context Action Result or Situation Task Action Response prepared?
These will support you in any interviews you recieve?

Hope everything goes well.
Best Wishes

thank you so much for all of the advice!!

ill try to come to terms with and accept this new chapter in my life in terms of college. admittedly, its very difficult, since i suffer a lot at college due to my mental illness, loneliness, and bullying. but i know youre right and i should take this position in my life in my stride, as you said :biggrin:

ill keep applying and doing follow up emails, but ill also look into phoning too!! i never actually knew i could do that, so thank you ever so much.

finally, ill look into phoning my local area for offers and i have just booked a careers appointment at my college to look into my cv, cover letter, and any further advice.

thank you ever so much!
Original post by Anonymous #1
okay, this might be long, so i truly appreciate anyone willing to give advice and i am very sorry if ive wasted anyones time.

im 17, i turn 18 this year (2024). i started college last year, despite not wanting to, because i had just moved to a whole new area and couldnt find work.

since i was 13, i have severely suffered in an academic environment. i am extremely intelligent academically, but suffered in grades and attendence due to debilitating mental illness. i had a psychotic break in october of 2022, when i was in year 11, and it was deemed by my school and others that it was safer for me and the people around me if i studied at home and did my GCSEs in a private area at school. issue is, i was promised online work and did not receive it until 2 weeks before my GCSEs. that coupled with my lack of attendance meant i was quite literally guessing theoughout my exams. i managed to pass all my core subjects with 4s, and i was higher tier.

then, when i applied for college, i could not apply for the a-levels due to my gcses. i asked to re-do my gcses, they said no, and i had no choice but to pick two BTEC subjects i didnt even want to do and join a college i never even wanted to go to.

now, im stuck. im jobless and close to being kicked out of school because my mental illness issues are severely impacting my attendence and ability to meet deadlines. again, my work is university quality (according to my teachers), but im failing in areas requiring motivation and mental energy. i have no friends (literally), and i am DESPERATE for a job. i love to work so so much, but have no experience as everything ive done has been for family (e.g. helping in a sweet shop my parents owned, babysitting my niece). i have been applying for jobs since april 2023 daily, and yet have only heard back from three - all to reject me. i consistently update my CV and cover letter, i do follow up emails if a company does not get back to me, i apply to places both online and in person, NOTHING. if i cant find a job and get kicked out of school, i lose my child benefit and my parents cant afford to house me without it. i NEED a job and i dont know what im doing wrong.

does anyone have any advice? im starting to feel hopeless. truly, utterly, hopeless.

Hello!

Reading some of the challenges you face reminds me of myself at your age. I struggled with school, work and life in general. I was always academic but it never showed in my results. You aren't alone. There are millions of people that are just like you. Society tells us that we are supposed to do well in school, go to uni and get a job. But it never works that way. I took a 6 year long gap year! I worked different jobs, did some volunteering (gained some real life experience) and honestly I'm doing much better for it 🙂 take some of the pressure off and take a deep breath. The biggest advice I will give you is that life is going to be a little bit easier if you complete college. I didn't and when I wished to return to education I had to re do a bunch of my qualifications. its perfectly doable but a real ball ache hahaha.

Speak to your college and be totally transparent about your situation. Explain the financial aspect, the mental health all of it. I promise they will help. They can offer counselling, guidance and even offer legal advice. They may be able to help find you organisations to assist you as well. Student support and learning support is never anything to ashamed of.

In terms of a job keep applying and apply of anything. if you like working, you could look into doing an apprenticeships after college. they have huge benefits and you can also do apprenticeships in level equivalent study. This way you get paid to learn!
try using this website:
https://www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeshipsearch
it will help you find things near by that are totally legitimate.

Another piece of advice I will give doe you AND your parents is visit your local Citizens Advice Bureau! they are a charity dedicated to giving out FREE legal advice to anyone that requires it. They will be able to help with any housing troubles, financial issues and more. They will help you guys stay afloat.
Here is their website:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk

I hope this helps and again, you aren't alone! please reach out. People are there to help you
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous #1
thank you for taking the time to read and respond

ive been in and out of professional support since i was maybe 10? but ive been in the more advanced stuff since my breakdown. every time i get a new counsellor, the sessions end with no progress made and they leave me and i have to wait a few months to even see someone again :frown:

ill try look into some volunteer work again. what put me off originally is i was even being rejected by volunteer roles, so i gave up 😭😭 but no, ill persevere and try apply for more

thank you again, truly.

You're most welcome. Wish I could do more for you but keep striving. You can do this!
Research an organisation that can help you with your employability when you have left college (most organisations will not help those currently in full time education and some require you to be in receipt of unemployment like Universal Credit or health/disability related benefits).

Ask the college careers advisor about these.

Some organisations target those with health issues (for example Enable) while others will always take it into account when they draw up your plan (for example People Plus).

They provide you with a key worker who will support you to produce a CV, training, work placements, job applications etc.

Look into volunteering in an area you are interested in. Voluntary work is as fantastic stepping stone into paid employment.

Look at the Gov. Uk website about getting a health adjustment passport.
"if i cant find a job and get kicked out of school, i lose my child benefit and my parents cant afford to house me without it."

Firstly, the child benefit is an allowance that your parents receive - it is not directly yours and it is scheduled to end in the near future anyway, whether you leave college prematurely or when the academic year ends. The clue is in the name - it's for children!

I get that you are worried about household finances but your parents are also responsible for making things affordable, either by reducing expenses or increasing their income.

Child benefit is temporary and so they should plan for its ending - this pressure should be on them, not you! They are adults.

Secondly, unemployed people (not in full time education) of working age are eligible for Universal Credit. It is harder to receive if you are under 18 but not impossible.

Claiming if you’re 16 or 17
[start]You can make a claim for Universal Credit if any of the following apply:[/start]

you have a health condition or disability and have medical evidence for it, such as a fit note


You can pay towards household expenses from your benefits.

Lastly, you may qualify for additional health or disability benefits, some you can get while studying, others you can receive while either in or out of work.

This is a very complicated area so you may want to book an appointment with a welfare rights advisor, like Citizens Advice of similar.

Ask your college student support service if they can provide advice about these benefits or recommend another organisation that can help you.
Also, I'd like to praise you for not giving up despite constant rejections and a health condition that affects your energy.

You have dismissed your family related work experience but your activities can put you ahead of others in job applications - to me it sounds like you have gained transferable skills from this but lack confidence and are demoralised at the moment.

I hope you find ways of restoring your confidence as you should actually be proud of the way you are trying to tackle your health, study and job seeking issues.
Reply 10
I left school with a few GCSEs, and I worked for a few years, and am currently doing my second masters degree.
I am in no way academic either. So, it is possible to return to study later.

Your family work experience means you have valuable work experience (customer service and numeracy skills).
What subject was the BTEC in? If you went back and completed it, although difficult, it might help you to get a job.

You could also try the National Extension College to restudy at home for GCSEs, or take A levels.
(edited 3 months ago)
Original post by Limpbiskit
I empathize with the challenges you have faced and your constant struggle is truly commendable. I am sorry if I missed something but have you tried getting some professional help ( I can understand if you can't finance it but maybe it will go a long way in helping you). You could try to communicate with your school's administration about your situation.
You could try taking only courses to refine your skill set or do volunteer work to improve your CV
You're burning the candle on both ends and I know it's tough right now but know that it will get better. Don't give up (cliche I know but just keep going because you sound like a very smart person and you shouldn't let your wonderful talents go to waste)

I know that without a support system, it's hard to get through all of this but know that someone is cheering you on somewhere in the world. You can do this and so much more.

(P.S Firstly, no you did not waste my time, always happy to help. Secondly, I know I wasn't of much help and didn't provide many solutions to your problems mostly because I am not at the same stage in life as you, and from what I gather, BTEC is the equivalent of A-Levels. I hope that I was able to provide you with some hope:smile:
I wish you well for your future and hope that this hard time just breezes by

Thug this **** out dawg.















But im sorry for you.

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