Guy flirting but not messaging

So I'm not really sure what to do. This guy says he likes me and wants to get to know me in person, but doesn't message at all. When I first met him he would send an occasional message but nothing since that conversation. Like he is flirty and always makes an effort to speak to me, and I think we are both hesitant and taking it slow (as we both messed up the first time around), but I don't know whether I'm misreading the situation. I'm trying to not get my hopes up and just let things happen, as last time I put pressure on it he got quite nervy and it went badly. I don't know if I'm being delusional and should give up, despite knowing something could be there, or accept he is a slow burner. I just don't want to get hurt.

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

20

Could be a number of things:-

1) His phone is out of credit
2) He's just not a "texter" (I can be like that TBF)
3) He doesn't want to say the wrong things and blow his chance
4) He doesn't want the stress of waiting indefinitely to see when (if) you reply
5) He's got a lot of work or other commitments
6) He's planning an elaborate message to send to you and he's really over-thinking it.

Still, it takes two to tango... have you told him (or hinted) that you'd like him to text you back? Do you try and initiate texts or anything? Have you suggested doing something together? Whatever you did, it can't have gone that badly, if you're still talking to him lol.
Looks like you're going to have to take some initiative here.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Old Skool Freak

Could be a number of things:-

1) His phone is out of credit
2) He's just not a "texter" (I can be like that TBF)
3) He doesn't want to say the wrong things and blow his chance
4) He doesn't want the stress of waiting indefinitely to see when (if) you reply
5) He's got a lot of work or other commitments
6) He's planning an elaborate message to send to you and he's really over-thinking it.

Still, it takes two to tango... have you told him (or hinted) that you'd like him to text you back? Do you try and initiate texts or anything? Have you suggested doing something together? Whatever you did, it can't have gone that badly, if you're still talking to him lol.
Looks like you're going to have to take some initiative here.

I actually did message him occasionally before, like if he didn’t turn up to something I’d drop him a quick message. But then I felt like I was getting a bit much (and he also got a girlfriend who he has now split up with), so I backed off. But it’s 6 months later and we are gravitating back towards each other again. I’m scared to message and mess it up, especially when we’re good in person…and I’m hoping he’s maybe the same? And hopefully we can build up to it. I don’t know, it sounds crazy but I don’t want to mess it up or risk losing him a second time.

Reply 3

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous #1

I actually did message him occasionally before, like if he didn’t turn up to something I’d drop him a quick message. But then I felt like I was getting a bit much (and he also got a girlfriend who he has now split up with), so I backed off. But it’s 6 months later and we are gravitating back towards each other again. I’m scared to message and mess it up, especially when we’re good in person…and I’m hoping he’s maybe the same? And hopefully we can build up to it. I don’t know, it sounds crazy but I don’t want to mess it up or risk losing him a second time.

All you can do in these kind of situations is play on your strengths.

So... you know you and him are good when you meet in person, how often do you see him? If it's at least a couple of times a week, then (IMHO) you wouldn't need to message constantly in the meantime (sometimes you can have too much of a good thing).

If you can. make the time you spend with him an event. What I mean is rather than just casually hanging out, maybe do an activity together... even if it's going for a walk in the park, downtown or whatever takes your fancy. On the other hand, if you're an indoors type person, cook a meal or something, arrange to watch a movie etc.

However, if you really wanted to text him, compliment him on something. One thing about guys (in general) is we love having our egos stroked. So if you know he's talented at something, or there's something you like in particular about him, you could text him a message like "I really liked your hair like that, it suits you" or "I thought you were great in that football game the other day". At the very least you'll get a Thank you reply (cause it's just rude if he doesn't lol)

Reply 4

zaharahluther

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I'm not really sure what to do. This guy says he likes me and wants to get to know me in person, but doesn't message at all. When I first met him he would send an occasional message but nothing since that conversation. Like he is flirty and always makes an effort to speak to me, and I think we are both hesitant and taking it slow (as we both messed up the first time around), but I don't know whether I'm misreading the situation. I'm trying to not get my hopes up and just let things happen, as last time I put pressure on it he got quite nervy and it went badly. I don't know if I'm being delusional and should give up, despite knowing something could be there, or accept he is a slow burner. I just don't want to get hurt.

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Guy flirting but not messaging

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