Urgent: Feeling unwanted by gf

Recently, my gf and i have been growing further and further apart and im a really stressed overthinking insecure person when it comes to this sort of thing and i really want to talk to her but dont know how without hurting her feelings. i would really appreciate some advice. thanks for reading

Reply 1

Anonymous928384

7

Further apart in what sense? Being ignored? Not seeing each other in person? Arguing (more often)?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

shes been busy with exams and stuff and i understand that but i feel like i have really taken a back seat in her life. (not that i have to always be in the front but in the sense that I'm currently in the boot where the spare tire is kept) Also, i just dont seem to matter. She'd rather spend time with others ( which fair do's) and i feel ignored

Also when i wanna hang out she cant. and im always the one organising dates and stuff so i feel like im either not doing enough for her or she dosnt like me anymore or im doing too much and i tried talking to her but it wasnt anything meaningful with substance.
And im also afraid that im getting the wrong end of the stick and she really does care but i just dont see it
[sorry for long reply]

Reply 3

Anonymous928384

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

shes been busy with exams and stuff and i understand that but i feel like i have really taken a back seat in her life. (not that i have to always be in the front but in the sense that I'm currently in the boot where the spare tire is kept) Also, i just dont seem to matter. She'd rather spend time with others ( which fair do's) and i feel ignored

Also when i wanna hang out she cant. and im always the one organising dates and stuff so i feel like im either not doing enough for her or she dosnt like me anymore or im doing too much and i tried talking to her but it wasnt anything meaningful with substance.
And im also afraid that im getting the wrong end of the stick and she really does care but i just dont see it
[sorry for long reply]

Long replies are better than short because feelings can be hard to convey so no need to apologise for that 🙂

Naturally during school/college/university, especially exam season, that has to be expected for her to knuckle down and get the good grades she needs. During the final year of my Bachelors I basically only texted my other half when I was sat in bed ready to sleep (so only a couple hours a day interaction) because I was determined to see it through and get the good grades I desired.

About organising dates and stuff, I can relate to that. I'm the same, but I just took it as part parcel of our relationship (she seems ok to just go with the flow). That could be your relationship's dynamic also?

Are you mutual friends with any of her close friends? Sometimes you can reach out to one of them and ask how things are with her. That way you won't come across as a potential nuisance to her if she starts suspecting you of being desperate or whatever. If they're also being treat the same way you are, then you know it's likely not a personal thing aimed at you and she's just applying it across the board.

Urgent: Feeling unwanted by gf

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