should i study overseas to fix a relationship?
so i recently got back with an ex and i flew to him back in december and things were great, but since i went back home we have been struggling to spend time due to timezones and we believe distance is the problem. i’ve also been wanting to apply university overseas because i feel like it’d be a breath of fresh air and it’ll teach me how to live alone, but i’m still not sure about my motives being right. i also think university is very scary alone so i think having him near me would be more comforting, thoughts?
Holy hell, reread your title and have some self awareness. No it is clearly not a good idea.
Original post by Anonymous #2
Holy hell, reread your title and have some self awareness. No it is clearly not a good idea.
i understand, it seems like a really bad decision reading off from the title, but i just need a little bit of rationalization here :’(
Original post by Anonymous #1
i understand, it seems like a really bad decision reading off from the title, but i just need a little bit of rationalization here :’(
If you move abroad with the intention of fixing it and it doesn't work, you cannot get away from the situation. Think about the worst case scenario, and ultimately the effect on yourself when taking a decision. I know it's not a nice thought but such is reality, things don't always work out, and you have to be prepared for that. So if you cannot handle the risk of a fallout then it's not worth the risk to go, unfortunately.
Regardless, it seems you are now only considering it more to try fix your relationship, and have even recognised this yourself, so you should definitely not be moving abroad to study. I fear you are thinking more in the moment if you do so, so sleep on it and you may find yourself more rational. You quote the want to be taught to live alone but you can do that here - and equally seek comfort through friends.
yeah, i see that. i have been thinking about this for about a few months though and i dont have a lot of time left to decide since the deadline is this march. i just really care about him and i see myself having a future with him, but of course i cant force something that can’t be
Original post by Anonymous #1
so i recently got back with an ex and i flew to him back in december and things were great, but since i went back home we have been struggling to spend time due to timezones and we believe distance is the problem. i’ve also been wanting to apply university overseas because i feel like it’d be a breath of fresh air and it’ll teach me how to live alone, but i’m still not sure about my motives being right. i also think university is very scary alone so i think having him near me would be more comforting, thoughts?
I hope you guys work things out! But remember you're living your life for yourself! and major decisions should come from you not influenced by someone who may not make the same sacrifice as you would. I'm sure wherever you go you'll find lovely people just like you are ❤️
Original post by gauriranjan852
I hope you guys work things out! But remember you're living your life for yourself! and major decisions should come from you not influenced by someone who may not make the same sacrifice as you would. I'm sure wherever you go you'll find lovely people just like you are ❤️
awh, thank you so much.. this is really nice of you to say. i just think i'll be judged a lo because it would really be my first time going overseas alone and finding friends might be difficult, but i really think living close to him will make it worthwhile. im still scared though, do you have any more advice?
Original post by Anonymous #1
yeah, i see that. i have been thinking about this for about a few months though and i dont have a lot of time left to decide since the deadline is this march. i just really care about him and i see myself having a future with him, but of course i cant force something that can’t be
He's your ex for a reason. How sure are you that circumstances have changed enough to get back with him, especially if it's recent and you haven't had much time together or to talk properly?
Original post by Surnia
He's your ex for a reason. How sure are you that circumstances have changed enough to get back with him, especially if it's recent and you haven't had much time together or to talk properly?
we actually got back together back in december, and things were going great until distance became a factor once again and he always says hes busy working a 9-5 job, which i respect. i feel like if i work for it, we both can make it work and i'm sure he's committed.
Original post by softeuphoria
awh, thank you so much.. this is really nice of you to say. i just think i'll be judged a lo because it would really be my first time going overseas alone and finding friends might be difficult, but i really think living close to him will make it worthwhile. im still scared though, do you have any more advice?
I know its scary, but remember that when starting Uni everyone will be in the exact same boat as you and want to socialise and make friends, there will be plenty of opportunities in and out of school to find people who appreciate and love you for who you are! If you end up moving close to your boyfriend then maybe you might find yourself limiting your socialising to him and his friends and in the future may even regret your choice as it wasn't what your heart truly wanted. Maybe looking to go somewhere closer to home or somewhere that excites you is best, because no matter what stage you are at in life you will have to overcome your fears, start afresh and put yourself out there ❤️
Original post by Anonymous #1
we actually got back together back in december, and things were going great until distance became a factor once again and he always says hes busy working a 9-5 job, which i respect. i feel like if i work for it, we both can make it work and i'm sure he's committed.
And what happens after you finish uni; who moves where to be close to each other?
Always trust your gut instinct. 
Ask yourself these questions:
Are you genuinely interested in the experience of living and studying in the country where your bf lives for a few years?
Can you easily afford the extra costs of studying overseas?
Is the country where your bf lives generally considered a safe country for young women to travel to?
Do all the overseas unis where you are considering studying have a good international reputation for the courses that you are interested in?
Do you have a strong support network in your home country that you will be able to rely upon while living overseas if your relationship breaks down?
If most of the answers are yes, relocating overseas may be a viable option for you to explore with your bf.
But don't do it believing that living closer to your bf will mean that the relationship will automatically improve.
Poor communication and incompatible dealbreakers will always ruin a relationship.
Ask yourself these questions:
Are you genuinely interested in the experience of living and studying in the country where your bf lives for a few years?
Can you easily afford the extra costs of studying overseas?
Is the country where your bf lives generally considered a safe country for young women to travel to?
Do all the overseas unis where you are considering studying have a good international reputation for the courses that you are interested in?
Do you have a strong support network in your home country that you will be able to rely upon while living overseas if your relationship breaks down?
If most of the answers are yes, relocating overseas may be a viable option for you to explore with your bf.
But don't do it believing that living closer to your bf will mean that the relationship will automatically improve.
Poor communication and incompatible dealbreakers will always ruin a relationship.
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