I don't know what i look like

Prepare for a long rant
okay so imagine its a school day:
I look in the mirror, I don't mind what i see. I look in the camera, I think i could be better. I look in other peoples photos, whether i'm posing on purpose or just in the background, I look horrible. I don't know if i look good or not because its hard to tell with every single version of me looking different.
I can't help compare myself to people. I don't compare myself to people online but the problem is people in real life. All my friends are just so pretty and i wonder why they even hang out with a person like me. I've never been in a relationship, never been complimented by a stranger, never had some have a crush on me. I've been told that some guys check me out in public but I've never seen this happen so I'm having sort of trust issues because i don't know if my friends just say this so i feel more confident. I know that boys/compliments aren't everything and I know that but its hard not to feel attractive when no one desires you or looks up to you.
I just hate my body, my style of clothing is sort of baggy. This whole time I thought I only wore it because it looked nice but a couple of weeks ago, i realized that its just because it hides my body. I'm dreading summer, the season of wearing short sleeve tops, shorts, opened feet etc. I just feel insecure and i've always been self conscious. I've grown up ugly and i feel like i still am. My friends say that i've had a glow up but its hard to tell if they genuinely mean it or if they just don't want me to be upset.
I just don't recognize the person i see in the mirror. My friend told me that i have body dismorphia but i feel like i dont because i dont have an eating disorder or a mental disorder. I just worry to much