Dad keeps criticising my university degree choice
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Original post by TF08060728
Yes I think our situation is really similar. I changed from English to chemistry because my parents originally wanted me to do law and I went along with it. My parents when I was younger were very controlling so I followed what they wanted and I gave up on fashion designing but I think since coming to my sixth form I really started to understand the importance of respecting my own opinions and stand up for myself. My parents of course weren’t very happy because I just don’t do whatever they say now so that was quite a blow to them. And yes my parents are first gen immigrants and they lived in quite extreme poverty so they tried really hard to get to the place I’m at and would do anything like pay for private school and tutoring so I understand that they want the best for me. I did my research and I see many graduates going into finance, audit and marketing and that’s where my interest is and 100% employment rate with 31k average starting salary which I think is really good. But of course they still don’t believe me but I think I’ve come to terms that they need some time to accept changes.
I think the made cause is the older generations and our Asian “culture” children from all over Asia are pushed into being doctors or engineers and this can causes a lot of mental health problems. For me and you our parents came to another country in hope to give us better lives that what they had which is probably what they’re thinking, that we’ll used the resources from this country and achieve more than them which is understandable. But at the same time the system here works differently and not all
High paying jobs and doctors and engineers and here there is a wider scope of careers that still pay well above the average. In whatever you do I wish you all the best and keep fighting!! It might be difficult not but in 10 years time your parents will be proud.
Original post by TF08060728
Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
In all honesty, all those are great universities and a lot of what makes employability is the university, not really the course. And also, if it's a degree that interests you, you will do well and ultimately be happier?
Original post by Anonymous #4
I think the made cause is the older generations and our Asian “culture” children from all over Asia are pushed into being doctors or engineers and this can causes a lot of mental health problems. For me and you our parents came to another country in hope to give us better lives that what they had which is probably what they’re thinking, that we’ll used the resources from this country and achieve more than them which is understandable. But at the same time the system here works differently and not all
High paying jobs and doctors and engineers and here there is a wider scope of careers that still pay well above the average. In whatever you do I wish you all the best and keep fighting!! It might be difficult not but in 10 years time your parents will be proud.
High paying jobs and doctors and engineers and here there is a wider scope of careers that still pay well above the average. In whatever you do I wish you all the best and keep fighting!! It might be difficult not but in 10 years time your parents will be proud.
Yes Im sure too. The job market here works fairly differently and tbh as long as we don’t lose that special part of ourselves Im sure everything would come together
It is never a waste of time to study any rigorous academic subject, and UCL and LSE are very good places to study. University is not just about getting a job.
By the way, the notion that lawyers will soon be replaced by AI is fanciful. AI has a huge distance to go before it can emulate human judgment, especially on disputed questions of facts.
By the way, the notion that lawyers will soon be replaced by AI is fanciful. AI has a huge distance to go before it can emulate human judgment, especially on disputed questions of facts.
Original post by TF08060728
Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
Tell him Theresa May studied geography...
Investment banks (if that were something you wanted to do) have a "Target" university system. They filter applications from a number of universities and make those offers first. In the UK, they are; Oxbridge, LSE, Imperial, UCL, Warwick. ~50% of investment banking internships come from these 6 universities.
Degree doesn't matter, in fact they would much rather take someone that studies Egyptology at Oxford than finance at Exeter. Research it and show your dad. Go onto linkedin and you'll find many that studied geography at UCL.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ngozi-ebhogiaye-63a3b0186/?originalSubdomain=uk
He won't believe 'some idiot on TSR' but my uncle is literally chief technology officer at Goldman Sachs and I've asked him about it.
Degree doesn't matter, in fact they would much rather take someone that studies Egyptology at Oxford than finance at Exeter. Research it and show your dad. Go onto linkedin and you'll find many that studied geography at UCL.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ngozi-ebhogiaye-63a3b0186/?originalSubdomain=uk
He won't believe 'some idiot on TSR' but my uncle is literally chief technology officer at Goldman Sachs and I've asked him about it.
Original post by MarkJewson
Tell him Theresa May studied geography...
That could be two edged! On the one hand, Theresa May became Prime Minister. On the other hand, Theresa May became Prime Minister.
Original post by TF08060728
Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
Sorry that you have had this experience with your Pa. I suggest that you stick to it and follow your path. Hopefully everything works well in the end.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Hi TF08060728,
First of all, a huge well done on your offer to study Geography at UCL!
I'm sorry to read that you're having such issues with your family and that your dad cannot be whole-heartedly happy for your success. How does your mom react to all this?
I'm not from an Asian background but I can resonate with the pain it can cause when the ones closest to you cannot be happy for your successes and want to exercise their own will on you.
As the other commenters said (many of whom can resonate more with your struggles as they are from Asian backgrounds as well), what you can do is give them time to accept your decision. You can appreciate your father's point of view without giving in to what he wants you to do.
You know that you have thought your decision through, and well done for already looking at the career/MSc prospects relating to your course. You can only do and explain so much to your dad, the rest is up to him and how he wants the relationship of you two to unfold.
I'm not sure how far you're based from the uni, but it could also be an option to move to student accommodation, if the pressures at home feel to much - it can also give time and space for your parents to re-evaluate their attitude towards you and your decision. They do sound like loving parents that are capable of this, and they might end up respecting you more with time if you stand your ground. I know it is very frustrating at the moment, but as others also said, it is you who has to live your life, and doing what makes you happy will make a loving parent happy as well, or at least that's how it should be.
Hopefully, as your parents see how you excel in your uni career (about which I've got no doubt 😉 ), they'll probably come to terms with how things have turned out and even see that this is for the better.
Please let us know how you get on if you feel like it of course, I hope I'd managed to say some words you find reassuring.
Viki
Student Ambassador
3rd year Psychology and Sociology Student
First of all, a huge well done on your offer to study Geography at UCL!
I'm sorry to read that you're having such issues with your family and that your dad cannot be whole-heartedly happy for your success. How does your mom react to all this?
I'm not from an Asian background but I can resonate with the pain it can cause when the ones closest to you cannot be happy for your successes and want to exercise their own will on you.
As the other commenters said (many of whom can resonate more with your struggles as they are from Asian backgrounds as well), what you can do is give them time to accept your decision. You can appreciate your father's point of view without giving in to what he wants you to do.
You know that you have thought your decision through, and well done for already looking at the career/MSc prospects relating to your course. You can only do and explain so much to your dad, the rest is up to him and how he wants the relationship of you two to unfold.
I'm not sure how far you're based from the uni, but it could also be an option to move to student accommodation, if the pressures at home feel to much - it can also give time and space for your parents to re-evaluate their attitude towards you and your decision. They do sound like loving parents that are capable of this, and they might end up respecting you more with time if you stand your ground. I know it is very frustrating at the moment, but as others also said, it is you who has to live your life, and doing what makes you happy will make a loving parent happy as well, or at least that's how it should be.
Hopefully, as your parents see how you excel in your uni career (about which I've got no doubt 😉 ), they'll probably come to terms with how things have turned out and even see that this is for the better.
Please let us know how you get on if you feel like it of course, I hope I'd managed to say some words you find reassuring.
Viki
Student Ambassador
3rd year Psychology and Sociology Student
Original post by TF08060728
Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.
My first degree is in Sociology. You’d have thought I’d applied to do Origami, the amount of grief I got from my dad.
It worked out fine for me. I knew why I was doing it and it’s been nothing but useful. I know lots of Geographers earning **** loads now, it’s a well respected degree.
Managing parents comes with the territory.
Original post by TF08060728
The unis I like don’t have marketing at undergrad. I was hoping for geography and undergrad to get a range of experiences then do a postgrad in social research methods or marketing. I’m planning in going into environmental or sustainability consultancy therefore I will choose econ modules in uni and sustainability ones. Would that be fine
Why not do a degree in Global Sustainable Development offered at Warwick University? you can also combine it with Economics or other options, Business etc. I'm sure they offer it elsewhere as well but Warwick's course is the one i know of & extremely good, lots go into Consultancy.
Original post by Anonymous
Why not do a degree in Global Sustainable Development offered at Warwick University? you can also combine it with Economics or other options, Business etc. I'm sure they offer it elsewhere as well but Warwick's course is the one i know of & extremely good, lots go into Consultancy.
Personally I just wanted to do what I liked. I like the combo of politics , sociology, econ and science in geography and the fact you get to learn lots of skills like data analysis and python etc. I decided I liked geography in yr11 but never really thought of jobs till quite recently when I decided I was interested in marketing or consulting. Geography in ucl and lse also offer econ, finance and business related modules so I thought it would be perfect for me. Oh and the year abroad
Original post by TF08060728
Personally I just wanted to do what I liked. I like the combo of politics , sociology, econ and science in geography and the fact you get to learn lots of skills like data analysis and python etc. I decided I liked geography in yr11 but never really thought of jobs till quite recently when I decided I was interested in marketing or consulting. Geography in ucl and lse also offer econ, finance and business related modules so I thought it would be perfect for me. Oh and the year abroad
Original post by Anonymous
I'm also Chinese and hoping to study geography at uni this year! Whilst my family is super supportive of it, I had that pressure on myself in terms of prospects etc as everyone questioned why I would pick geography / what it would lead to career-wise. Which are you leaning towards - LSE / UCL? I also applied to LSE but haven't decided on firming/insuring any unis yet
Omg thats such a coincidence never know we might be going to the same school🤣. Definitely LSE if I get it. If I want to go into consulting or marketing for the companies I like I learnt that I would need a school either with high overall ranking or high subject ranking. LSE seems to have very good range of modules and a language specialisation and amazing subject ranking + I want to do postgrad there. UCL would be amazing too but you cant do a language course with it😭. But once again LSE hasnt replied. Where have you applied?
Original post by TF08060728
Omg thats such a coincidence never know we might be going to the same school🤣. Definitely LSE if I get it. If I want to go into consulting or marketing for the companies I like I learnt that I would need a school either with high overall ranking or high subject ranking. LSE seems to have very good range of modules and a language specialisation and amazing subject ranking + I want to do postgrad there. UCL would be amazing too but you cant do a language course with it😭. But once again LSE hasnt replied. Where have you applied?
They STILL haven't replied?? 😭
Original post by TF08060728
Omg thats such a coincidence never know we might be going to the same school🤣. Definitely LSE if I get it. If I want to go into consulting or marketing for the companies I like I learnt that I would need a school either with high overall ranking or high subject ranking. LSE seems to have very good range of modules and a language specialisation and amazing subject ranking + I want to do postgrad there. UCL would be amazing too but you cant do a language course with it😭. But once again LSE hasnt replied. Where have you applied?
Original post by Anonymous
LSE is really taking their time!!!!! I think I had heard back by 15th March. I also applied to Oxford, Leeds, Durham and KCL, which I've all heard back from but I'm indecisive so not finalised anything yet. I'm awful at languages so that specialisation doesn't really appeal to me - what language would you pick?
OMG have you gotten LSE too! Well if you have oxford I would no brainer oxford. KCL has a year abroad which is really appealing, both my teachers went to Durham for Geography and apparently its pretty good and they are also a college based uni so entirely depends on what course and uni life you’re looking for and LSE has a really good reputation and pretty much preps you with Geography but relating it to the human side. For languages I might do Chinese and go straight to advanced and master because I’m pretty fluent for a British Chinese but most likely I would go for French. Im quite a fan of travelling and thought French might be more helpful for a career in Consulting in larger firms.
Original post by Coeoe
They STILL haven't replied?? 😭
No😭 I’m just praying for something before my first Geo exam
Original post by TF08060728
No😭 I’m just praying for something before my first Geo exam
😭 They're sure taking their time... I hope you'll get a reply soon aaaa
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