Do you love your parents?

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You say that you don't love your parents, then you assert that you do.

Make up your mind.

Of course I love my parents.

I don't think you read that properly...

Reply 21

TheQuietOne

Original post by Wilfred Little

Do you go out much at all?

Really sympathise with you.

I'm not really allowed out. My parents tell me if I ever come home drunk/stay out too long/get a boyfriend/I don't call or text them about where I am often enough, they'll kick me out of the house. Most of my friends are the type who only go out to drink so I never really dare go along.

I'm living for my gap year though - 11 months in Hungary...FREEDOM!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

I was raised by my grandfather. Love that guy; he's provided what my mother could not since birth (which was pretty much everything you could possibly imagine). He's level-headed, supportive, teeming with common sense and has always had his life in order.

My mother on the other hand is grossly inept, incompetent, has no common sense whatsoever, and has, it must be said, every possible foible and inconsistency which could constitute failure. I could speak for hours on the subject, though that one sentence paints an accurate picture.

I love my mother because of that very fact, though I find myself thinking very hateful thoughts quite frequently now, especially as I discovered that the sole origin of my depression stemmed from her behaviour. It wouldn't be outrageous to say that due to her comportment around me growing up, I was, am currently, and likely always will be messed up emotionally, and will probably continue to harbour this resentment well into adulthood.

Reply 23

Hype en Ecosse

I'm not at all close to my dad. We don't really talk, I've made posts about this before. We just find it hard to talk to each other and it becomes a case of just talking at each other. We're very removed from each other - don't really tell the other any personal things. It's kind of like I'm a pet he feels he has to take care of.

But God, I love my dad. I never tell him, and I really should. But I love him to bits. He's a single-parent with a low-paying job and I know he works very hard for me. He tries to make everything as easy on me as possible, he supports me with whatever I do if I ask for support, he'd never try to stop me from doing something I want, he feeds me and he houses me, and he just makes sure that he's always doing the best he possibly can to take care of me. Taking on all the stress and hardship that comes with doing this himself.

So on one hand, I feel like I've missed out on the benefit of a close, friendly father-son relationship. But on the other hand, he's been a fantastic father to me and has rarely ever done anything out-of-line. I love my dad to absolute bits and will always be grateful for everything he's done for me.

Reply 24

ALazyThracian

I can honesty say i love my parents. They have supported me and all my decisions in life, shown my the different paths i could take and clothed, fed and sheltered me. I will be forever grateful. :colondollar:

Reply 25

The_master616

I never used to love my parents, but after receiving some very hard life lessons and learning from stupid decisions I made, I gradually realised.

Especially in the case of my stepfather. I got back in contact with my biological father (spoke on phone, over skype, email etc) and planned to visit him in America. The weird thing was that I felt a natural affinity for him compared to the man who raised me as his own. After bio dad screwed me over (Telling me I couldn't come to the US after I booked the flight tickets) I then realised and gained a new found respect for my stepdad. Was quite a bittersweet moment.

Reply 26

silent ninja

Original post by Coeusful

My girlfriend brought something to my attention today: I don't love, nor feel any kind of affinity towards my parents. Is that... odd, unusual?

My parents have fed, clothed, educated me, and will continue to support me throughout my life until they or I die -- I know that for certain; that's who they are. Moreover, I'm very grateful for that support. But still, on no conscious level can I say, Gosh, I sure do love mum and dad. I imagine one afternoon the school secretary will walk into the classroom and inform me that my parents died in a tragic car accident that morning. I imagine myself shrugging, finishing the class until the bell goes, and going home to sort out funeral affairs, etc. -- Morbid, I know!

What, on some subconscious level do I love my parents? If, say, they were to die, would I suddenly go, Well whattaya' know? I did love my parents all along! at which point all the characters in-scene would laugh and the credits would roll to a jolly show-tune? No! Surely not! Shouldn't love be felt and consciously acknowledged? I've felt love, or at the very least strong attachment, among friends and partners. My parents are flawed (good lord how they're flawed...) but they are essentially decent human beings, so they are lovable...

I'd prefer it if I weren't cast off as an ungrateful sod because I can't love my parents when they give me everything, gave me life, etc., etc.... As I said, I am grateful for their generosity. I was just wondering if anyone else is like this. I'm marginally worried about it.

Thanks!

Clearly you've never lost someone close or from immediate family. So incredibly naive, you have no clue what you're talking about <facepalm>

For the record my dad is the most belligerent, ill tempered, rude, argumentative and often violent (in his hay day) old man you will meet. He didn't much do those things you mentioned either (provide ,educate etc).

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 27

Mr_Powell

.... You're a heartless, ungrateful bastard. I pity the poor sap who one day falls in love with you.

Reply 28

doobucks

Original post by Coeusful

Oh. I didn't even consider relationships with the rest of my family. I sorta' figured the parent-child relationship encompassed the other familial ties, too...

Yeah, I guess to add insult to injury, the bonds to my many brothers and sisters, nephews, nieces, etc. are pretty dead as well.

I think we need an engineer here to check if I'm a robot! :biggrin:

I would say it's autism, get yourself checked, I have a feeling I am, but you never know. Do you really mind being this way? I don't really but I reckon you might not too.

Reply 29

lacelicker

I have no feelings either way towards my Dad. He left when I was 3, and I don't really remember him. But I love my Mum, I don't always like her very much, and she doesn't always like me very much. But I do love her, and she says she loves me. So I can't say I know what you're feeling becasue it's a compleatly alien concept to me.

Reply 30

Coeusful

Wow. That's quite revealing. I didn't think I came across as such a heartless person, but... well, I think it's pretty conclusive!

Thanks for the comments, everyone. I appreciate 'em.

Reply 31

Anonymous #2

Constant constant nagging.

Reply 32

velociraptor

No matter how much we fight and how different we are, I love my family more, than I ever loved anyone else.

Reply 33

velociraptor

Original post by jam277

I would say it's autism, get yourself checked, I have a feeling I am, but you never know. Do you really mind being this way? I don't really but I reckon you might not too.

You should at least google autism before you diagnose the OP. Lack of empathy and feelings for others is only one symptom and believe me if he had autism, people would have noticed.

Reply 34

JC.

It's very easy to "talk the talk". But like the saying goes, when the flag drops, the b/s stops.

Reply 35

kka25

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

I love my parents yes. I don't always get along with them, and I don't think they understand me at all, but I do love them.

As a mother myself, I can tell you I would quite honestly be heartbroken if my children didn't love me. They tell me often enough that they do though, and I have the hugs and kisses to show for it :smile:

But if they grew up and decided that they didn't love me...geez I really would be absolutely heartbroken.

I'm sure you're a great mom and they will grow loving you even more :hugs:

Reply 36

animalnitrate

I love both of my parents very much. There was a time when I didn't feel much for either of them at all, but my illness brought me and my mum, especially, closer together.

Reply 37

screenager2004

I love my parents (and my sister) very much and would gladly die for any of them. I've got nothing but loyalty for them.

Reply 38

Aaaaaaaargh!

I love them both with all of my heart.

I've put them through far too much stress and hardship over the years, the least I can do is be grateful to them. It's pretty unconditional really, at times I dislike them because of an arguement or whatever, but I know I will love them forever and always.

............Awwwwwwwww.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 39

Bhumbauze

Hmmmm I dunno really. I do love my parents, in that I'd be upset if either of them died or if anything massively bad happened to them, but no, I don't have a huge emotional attachment to them. I wouldn't be "devastated" to the point of being non-functional, and to be honest, it wouldn't massively affect my life at all. But then, while I do like my dad, he wasn't the most emotionally available person when I was a child... and while my mum was when I was a young child - when I was 8 she went completely off the rails and became a complete train wreck. Would be a lie to say that it didn't create a permanent distance. On the other hand, it's simple biological fact that, in general, males have less attachment to their parents (and grandparents / extended family) than females do. Males are simply bilologically hardwired to be more inclined to want to "forge their own path".

It probably doesn't mean anything about your "ability to love" at all, OP, so don't worry about it too much. I have a partner, a 2 year old and another on the way now and I'm basically obsessed with all of them :lol: