dating someone whose parents weren't together

Hi guys,

What's your experience with dating someone whose parents weren't together?

I've been seeing this guy for a while now and its been on and off several times, just because he doesn't seem to know how to show or express love. There's also been instances where we had an argument and instead of facing it, he just runs off and find some woman for comfort and then comes back to me.

I'm just wondering if this is related to his parents not being together and him not seeing how he's supposed to handle being in a relationship or even expressing his love as it could be that he never saw his parents show love to each other so he just doesn't know how to. Also, there's been instances where I got angry and he doesn't check in regularly with me on a daily basis to know how each other is doing- this could also be related to him not seeing his parents doing checking in on each other and knowing thats a normal thing we're supposed to do in relationships.

Have anyone been with a person like this before and what are your experiences, is that common?

Reply 1

jelllyfiiish

Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hi guys,
What's your experience with dating someone whose parents weren't together?
I've been seeing this guy for a while now and its been on and off several times, just because he doesn't seem to know how to show or express love. There's also been instances where we had an argument and instead of facing it, he just runs off and find some woman for comfort and then comes back to me.
I'm just wondering if this is related to his parents not being together and him not seeing how he's supposed to handle being in a relationship or even expressing his love as it could be that he never saw his parents show love to each other so he just doesn't know how to. Also, there's been instances where I got angry and he doesn't check in regularly with me on a daily basis to know how each other is doing- this could also be related to him not seeing his parents doing checking in on each other and knowing thats a normal thing we're supposed to do in relationships.
Have anyone been with a person like this before and what are your experiences, is that common?

Honestly, him running off to find comfort in another woman seems a bit off to me…

I would say that his parent’s relationship problems would have an effect on how he defines and resolves problems relating to relationships. So his way of expressing love may be different to what you may observe it to be.
Other than running off to another woman, I would say everything else (should) be alright unless there is a pivoting + crucial moment where you really feel uncomfortable and or cannot tolerate with his behavior - then you could consider breaking things off.

I really hope everything turns out well for your relationship and I wish you the best!
Have a wonderful day!! :smile:

Reply 2

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

While I think there are issues in the relationship obviously, I think you playing armchair psychologist is possibly one of them and in any event, almost certainly isn't going to be accurate and even if the issue is related I suspect your framing grossly oversimplifies the actual context.

There are plenty of reasons why someone could exhibit those behaviours many of which may be entirely unrelated to his parents. Equally there are plenty of people whose parents aren't together who have perfectly healthy and stable relationships. Also not everyone in a relationship who lives apart from their partner feels the need to check in every day - and that's not necessarily a problem if both parties are fine with it.

Bottom line is if you have an issue with him cheating (understandable) then the relationship isn't going to work if he does that. Equally lack of communication from both of you and apparent inability of you both to discuss expectations in the relationship is going to be an issue even aside from that. Also as noted above I think you taking it upon yourself to psychoanalyse him is probably also not healthy for this (or any) relationship.

Clearly the only reasonable outcome is to break up, which would likely be the best course of action for all parties involved.