I want to work in finance as an IB but my parents only want me to work as a Doctor.

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE IN CASE I DECIDE TO DELETE/EDIT THE THREAD!

Recently, I have been working on a career in IB, and have received many opportunities to help me realise that dream.

I have recently told my parents that I no longer want to be a doctor and they are extremely upset, since for the past 15 year when they have been suggesting it and I have been saying yes, even up until a week ago. I tried to explain to them that I have been having doubts for the past 3 years, and have expressed it to them, but they had shut me down every time I told them. I'm genuinely afraid of their reactions when they'll realise that I won't back down and submit to being a doctor like I always have. I know they feel betrayed since I've just said yes every time they brought it up, but they aren't the kind of parents you can disagree with, since they always make me feel stupid and worthless when I do. They were upset when I didn't apply to medicine (I lied and told them that I had bad predicated grades), but were relieved when I did biology, since they thought I'd apply to medicine or go on the med programme. I lied and told them that I will but I only chose biology since I enjoy it and it was my strongest A level.

They say that I'm only looking at money and not job security, which they say I'll have both in medicine. They also said that even if I can't work in the UK, I'd be able to work elsewhere so I'll have a guaranteed job. They also said that If I couldn't work as an IB anymore I won't have a second chance, and that there are many risks (such as being blamed for detrimental mistakes other people make). She also said that it would be a waste that I spent my whole life preparing for medicine just to "stuck in a bank."

They aren't horrible and want the best for me, but they don't understand what they want isn't what I want anymore, and that what will make them happy isn't the focus of my happiness anymore. I don't want to be forced to dedicate my life to a career I don't want, and I deserve since I feel so conflicted about it. I love science not medicine. So if you are/have been in a similar situation, could you please write down and explain how you convinced (if you managed to) your parents. If you could, could you please give your opinions on my parent's arguments?

TLR
Parents are angry and hurt with my sudden (to them) career change and I trying to convince me to change. Could you please give advice to make them come around, or share similar experiences please? Thank you.

Apologies for all the typos and terrible grammar, was much more distressed when I wrote the post. Thank you for replying, I also agree and it's why I don't think I deserve to do medicine. I am also really afraid of doing medicine and deeply regretting it later on, like you have said. I just don't know how to convince my parents to support my career change, which I guess is what I am asking.

They will eventually come round to it and accept that as an adult you have the right to make your own decisions.

If you performed poorly in your studies, how are you planning to get into IB (NO which is super competitive)?

No I did well, I received A*A*A in bio, chemistry, and physics. I just told them I was predicted poor grades so I wouldn't apply, as 5-6 year is a long time to spend in a course you're not sure about. I have been accepted onto many IB programmes and have been offered to shadow some analysts at big banks, so though it is extremely competitive, I have the motivation and actual interest needed to succeed! Thank you deeply for your concern and response!

In which case, tell your parents you are super squemish and don't like people or bodily fluids!

Have your parents explained their obsession with medicine? Or just because they decided something a long time ago?

Get them to watch "This is Going to Hurt" on BBC iplayer!

You're gonna have to tell them the truth sometime!

The more you lie to them, the worse ots going to get. What are u studying in uni?

I agree, my best bet would be to shadow a doctor and tell them I didn't enjoy the experience and that medicine isn't for me. They haven't given a real reason apart from job security, pay and that I'm good at science. I think a part of them is living through me, since my parents chose different careers over medicine and regret it. I'll do that!



Yes of course, I ended up telling them last week, since I am going to apply to summer internships this year. They just don't think I'm serious and think that they'll be able to convince me to change my mind again, so they haven't been that bad yet. Im doing biomed right now, and thank you for replying.

I agree, my best bet would be to shadow a doctor and tell them I didn't enjoy the experience and that medicine isn't for me. They haven't given a real reason apart from job security, pay and that I'm good at science. I think a part of them is living through me, since my parents chose different careers over medicine and regret it. I'll do that!



Yes of course, I ended up telling them last week, since I am going to apply to summer internships this year. They just don't think I'm serious and think that they'll be able to convince me to change my mind again, so they haven't been that bad yet. Im doing biomed right now, and thank you for replying.

If they picked different careers instead of medicine, then why are they entitled to dictate to you?

It's long, unforgiving hours especially when training. And a lot of pressure so if you don't love it / dont want it, you will fail or at worst kill someone..

Ate you doing biomed because u want to or to make ur parents happy?

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE IN CASE I DECIDE TO DELETE/EDIT THE THREAD!

Recently, I have been working on a career in IB, and have received many opportunities to help me realise that dream.

I have recently told my parents that I no longer want to be a doctor and they are extremely upset, since for the past 15 year when they have been suggesting it and I have been saying yes, even up until a week ago. I tried to explain to them that I have been having doubts for the past 3 years, and have expressed it to them, but they had shut me down every time I told them. I'm genuinely afraid of their reactions when they'll realise that I won't back down and submit to being a doctor like I always have. I know they feel betrayed since I've just said yes every time they brought it up, but they aren't the kind of parents you can disagree with, since they always make me feel stupid and worthless when I do. They were upset when I didn't apply to medicine (I lied and told them that I had bad predicated grades), but were relieved when I did biology, since they thought I'd apply to medicine or go on the med programme. I lied and told them that I will but I only chose biology since I enjoy it and it was my strongest A level.

They say that I'm only looking at money and not job security, which they say I'll have both in medicine. They also said that even if I can't work in the UK, I'd be able to work elsewhere so I'll have a guaranteed job. They also said that If I couldn't work as an IB anymore I won't have a second chance, and that there are many risks (such as being blamed for detrimental mistakes other people make). She also said that it would be a waste that I spent my whole life preparing for medicine just to "stuck in a bank."

They aren't horrible and want the best for me, but they don't understand what they want isn't what I want anymore, and that what will make them happy isn't the focus of my happiness anymore. I don't want to be forced to dedicate my life to a career I don't want, and I deserve since I feel so conflicted about it. I love science not medicine. So if you are/have been in a similar situation, could you please write down and explain how you convinced (if you managed to) your parents. If you could, could you please give your opinions on my parent's arguments?

TLR
Parents are angry and hurt with my sudden (to them) career change and I trying to convince me to change. Could you please give advice to make them come around, or share similar experiences please? Thank you.

Update, my parents now want to kick me out over it. They are very serious about cutting me off over it, I am considering just sucking it up and do medicine but I genuinely don’t want that for my life. If I do leave, could you please give some advice so that I can sustain myself?