Finding out new man has slept around has really put me off him.

I dont think this is a reason not to date the guy, just a reason to be cautious, and i think that OP should talk to the guy, ask him whether he is ready to commit to a monogomous, longterm relationship or just wants to continue having short term flings.

Reply 21

FrostyLemon

13

You sure he's actually slept with loads of people and not just talking *******s? A lot of guys can be all mouth around their mates and the comments you've put on here seem a bit juvenile. In any case, I can see why you would be put off by it if that's not what you are into. Doesn't really bode well for a relationship. Though I'm slightly doubtful of your apparent 'loss of interest', (why make the thread?) because in my experience girls love a player.

Good luck lol.

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

OP

No I'm sure. The comment I posted was just one comment, there are lots of them. Lots too along the lines of "where did you get to/ stay last night?, Who was she?", et cetera. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with doing that if you're single, again, like I said, It's U-turned my opinion of him and I made this thread to ask if it was normal for a girl to feel this way about a guy she's dating.

And no, I think silly, emotionally unstable girls or those with asteem issues "love" players. Lord only knows why.

Reply 23

FrostyLemon

13

Well I'd say you've got your head screwed on then compared to most girls, I think you know what you're doing. I've gone off girls completely once they've demonstrated they are a bit easy or self centered. It's fairly normal to discover over time that the person you like/liked isn't quite what you thought they were. That's why we 'see' people before commiting to anything.

Reply 24

hiding12

Original post by Vohamanah

Just because someone has been promiscuous in the past doesn't necessarily meant hey are untrustworthy. My boyfriend has slept with a massive amount of women, more than anyone I know. But I don't have a problem with it, he's never cheated on anyone, he's now grown up a lot and stopped putting it around, I know he's enirely devoted to our relationship and trust him 100%.

But in this case, it sounds like this guy is still putting it around. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with promiscuity, male or female, as long as everyone involved knows the score. This guy may be ready for a relationship and prepared to give up this lifestyle for you, but if you already can't quite trust him, that's not a good basis for a relationship. Just because he's put it around doesn;t necessarily mean he's untrustworthy or that you'll just be "a number" to him, but you're already worried and the relationship hasn't even got off the ground yet. In your position, I'd probably steer clear.

no offence but how do you know he hasn't cheated on you?

Reply 25

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by Anonymous

Hi guys. Just wanted to guage really what other people's thoughts are on this really.

Met a guy a couple of months ago, he was lovely, charming, gentlemanly, VERY good looking, funny, outgoing et cetera. It's not hard to see why he'd get a lot of female attention but that's not the problem at all. We've seen a lot of each other and at first I was totally smitten with him, it was almost too good to be true.

He added me on facebook and without going into details, it's pretty clear that he's the type to go out with his friends and pull a different girl practically every time he goes out. His friends say things like "the butcher was in the meat market again last night I heard", and other such things. It's totally put me off him to the point I've cancelled our date this weekend and I'm not really even bothered if I don't see him again. I can't even really put my finger on exactly why.

Anyone have any input on this?

Your interest was peaked, then you found out he is a bit of a manwhore/player/whatever, so you bailed. Obviously not your type of fling.

Good for you. And yes it's normal. Things like that are called 'deal-breakers'. It's not like you were emotionally invested in the guy.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 26

Vohamanah

16

Original post by hiding12

no offence but how do you know he hasn't cheated on you?

I am absolutely certain he hasn't cheated on me.

Reply 27

such_a_lady

16

We have gut instinct for a reason :yep:

if you do like him then take it slow and make it hard for him to turn you into a number, but if you've lost all attraction, as you've said, then leave it. You're doing nothing wrong :smile:

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 28

hiding12

Original post by Vohamanah

I am absolutely certain he hasn't cheated on me.

ok, well its just I know a friend who was the 'hot, bad boy' type that a lot of women go for and he cheated on one after the other as he got a lot of offers and he always told his g/f he hadn't cheated.

Reply 29

Vohamanah

16

Original post by hiding12

ok, well its just I know a friend who was the 'hot, bad boy' type that a lot of women go for and he cheated on one after the other as he got a lot of offers and he always told his g/f he hadn't cheated.

Ok. My boyfriend is not your friend :tongue:

Reply 30

hiding12

Original post by Vohamanah

Ok. My boyfriend is not your friend :tongue:

yeh, ok he prob hasn't

Reply 31

Robaij

giiiiirl,i know exactly how youre feeling. i met this guy a couple of months ago and things started to seem too good to be true(turns out they were). he always used to text me first,and we would text aaalll day.he's a player and a massive ladies man.

i made him wait a month before sleeping with him,and he told me he repsected me etc.then one day out of the blue he said he doesnt know what he wants with us anymore.he was basically saying he wants to still be single.he's a lot older than me though so he doesnt really have time to be single so i dont understand:s im still trying to get closure over this to this day(its been a few weeks).

id say move on now before you get hurt.listen to your heart,i wish thats what i would have done!now look at me.

Reply 32

hennessybubbles

Original post by Anonymous

Hi guys. Just wanted to guage really what other people's thoughts are on this really.

Met a guy a couple of months ago, he was lovely, charming, gentlemanly, VERY good looking, funny, outgoing et cetera. It's not hard to see why he'd get a lot of female attention but that's not the problem at all. We've seen a lot of each other and at first I was totally smitten with him, it was almost too good to be true.

He added me on facebook and without going into details, it's pretty clear that he's the type to go out with his friends and pull a different girl practically every time he goes out. His friends say things like "the butcher was in the meat market again last night I heard", and other such things. It's totally put me off him to the point I've cancelled our date this weekend and I'm not really even bothered if I don't see him again. I can't even really put my finger on exactly why.

Anyone have any input on this?

from experience I'd say you're wise to be put off- its a really bad sign when men take that attitude to women- especially if his friends us that phrase! thats a really crude way to thing about women - I think you maybe just have good instincts (?) there are a lot of guys out there who seem really charming but literally only want to get you into bed so well done you for being wary

Reply 33

ceris

6

Original post by Waitingname

I can't really blame you. His friends sound like chauvinistic idiots too.

I nearly spat my drank all over the keyboard when I read that and saw that you're a man. lol sucking up to girls on a forum isn't gonna get you laid buddy

Reply 34

Waitingname

5

Original post by ceris

I nearly spat my drank all over the keyboard when I read that and saw that you're a man. lol sucking up to girls on a forum isn't gonna get you laid buddy

1. And you're an expert on my sex life...why?
2. Yes, because I hold an opinion more enlightened than your prehistoric brain can handle, I'm obviously "sucking up to get laid".
3. Girls will definitely flock to that.

Reply 35

ceris

6

Original post by Waitingname

2. Yes, because I hold an opinion more enlightened than your prehistoric brain can handle, I'm obviously "sucking up to get laid".

lmao, lamest insult I've ever seen in my life

Reply 36

username917703

17

Original post by ceris

I nearly spat my drank all over the keyboard when I read that and saw that you're a man. lol sucking up to girls on a forum isn't gonna get you laid buddy

He's right though.

This forum:

- Disagree with girls and you're sexist
- Agree with girls and you're a white knight

People can remain objective regardless of gender you know.

Reply 37

ceris

6

Original post by Wilfred Little

He's right though.

This forum:

- Disagree with girls and you're sexist
- Agree with girls and you're a white knight

People can remain objective regardless of gender you know.

fair point, repped

Reply 38

The_Jammy_Witch

10

Original post by Anonymous

In what concievable way is he too much of a challenge for me? I don't understand how a promiscuous man can present as a "challenge" for anybody. Please explain.

How exactly have I blown it? By telling him I need to work tomorrow night? Don't really see that personally, but thanks for your (usual) over-dramatic contribution.

Too much of a challenge because you know he has options and would therefore be less inclined to endure you should you demonstrate low status qualities which, given how catty you've gotton on here (and considering that everything is relative), I imagine is likely.

Blown it by cancelling for the reasons you gave us, i.e. exposing yourself to him as being not quite with the program. When saying that you'd blown it, I assumed you had the sincerity to be real and say what the actual reason for cancelling was instead of making something up.