My Muslim friend states that homosexuality is a test from God - obviously some of us are born with it and it is our duty to fight it and overcome it, find the straight path (pun unintended lmao) and so on.
Her conservative views on my sexuality have caused me to essentially ''go back in the closet'' - it is not something I speak of freely now, not like I used to before. I am not usually someone that is afraid to express their views and identity, I am completely fine with who I am. She would just constantly make me feel wrong, however, like I am a disappointment of some sort. She did something that was particularly annoying - when she found out I was bisexual, she was shocked and felt terrible for previously exposing her hair to me. Ever since that time, she would never again even show me pictures of her if she didn't have her hijab on. I know males (unless they are mahrams) are not permitted to see the women's hair if she wears the hijab, but me, as a female? I felt discriminated. She said it had to do with my sexuality and impurity. I do think she's absolutely beautiful without her hijab but I would never be attracted to her, therefore there is absolutely no possibility of zina being committed on my behalf! I just felt like she didn't trust me enough, and that she thought Allah wouldn't like it if she let me see herself unveiled.
I am a believing person, I do believe in God but I do not practise any religion at the moment (although my friend is a little crazy and wanted to convert me to Islam as I was bought up a Christian anyway and I am very familiar to the teachings of Islam due to having studied it in detail - I have dealt with a massive exposure to Islam in the past two years). Right now, I believe I am too young to ''settle down'' and be faithful to God. To quote Kendrick Lamar, ''I'm a sinner who's probably gonna sin again, God forgive for things I don't understand'' lmao. I know God is merciful and will forgive me when/if I come to repent. For now, I just want to explore who I am, so that I don't have regrets later on.
What are your views on this?