I'm really paranoid about my relationship

Before I continue, there isnt any problems between me and my partner. In my eyes this is a perfect relationship, I couldnt wish for a better one!

But for some reason.. I cant help but be paranoid about it all. Its like everything is almost going too well, that something bad is going to happen soon :frown:

I've sat for hours trying to dig to the bottom of the paranoia, the only thing I can think of which turns my stomach is just the thought of everything going wrong, my partner not loving me anymore and going off with someone else.

Can anyone suggest some advice for me, Its a stupid worry and I know I should just let it go.. but I cant help but think about it every day.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Don't waste the moments, enjoy it and stop worrying. If he says he loves you, he wouldn't go off with somebody else. I suppose this is normal to feel like this if this is your first proper relationship with somebody you really like. Gl

Reply 2

BWV1007

14

I can quite understand it - you must feel that your partner's too good to be true. But you shouldn't be scared of losing your partner. Just be yourself, respect his/her personal space, and hopefully everything will be fine. If it doesn't work out, you know it wouldn't have even if you did things differently. Enjoy the time you have together and stop worrying about what the end will be. :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Don't waste the moments, enjoy it and stop worrying. If he says he loves you, he wouldn't go off with somebody else. I suppose this is normal to feel like this if this is your first proper relationship with somebody you really like. Gl

I'm trying not to waste any, I do enjoy every minute with my partner but that little worry is always there :L
Yeah its my first proper relationship, I guess its just natural to feel it. Thanks for the advice :smile:

Original post by BWV1007

I can quite understand it - you must feel that your partner's too good to be true. But you shouldn't be scared of losing your partner. Just be yourself, respect his/her personal space, and hopefully everything will be fine. If it doesn't work out, you know it wouldn't have even if you did things differently. Enjoy the time you have together and stop worrying about what the end will be. :smile:

Yeah exactly that, it feels like everything is too good to be true at the moment. Yeah I suppose, I've tried to be less intensive around my partner so that I'm not too much if you catch my drift. I'll just try to be normal and see how things go, like you said if things do go sour there wasnt much I could have done to change it. Thank you for the help ^_^

Reply 4

Darien91

6

Just try your best to relax, if you're being strange when you see him or whatever eventually he will pick up on it and it will cause actual problems,

Reply 5

shawtyb

20

i used to be paranoid about 2 of my ex's with good reason as they proved my paranoia right!
im no where near paranoid now and my bf so far is a good little egg :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

I was paranoid about my relationship with my ex too, even though she kept telling me I had nothing to worry about, she loved me, etc. One day we had an argument and the next evening I found out she was sleeping with a "friend" of mine.

Oh well,I'm sure it won't happen to you. I had reasons to be worried, my ex wasn't a good person when it came to relationships. It's kind of normal to be paranoid when you really love someone imo (especially if it's the first time). It always happens to me too so I can't really help you sorry.

Reply 7

TylerGainz69

rest in pepperonis

-1 rep
not very fast
inconvenient

Reply 8

Emily!!!

I felt a bit like this when I went into a fresh relationship. I think you have to stop yourself from thinking this, as hard as it might be. Don't let it get to you. You know theres no problems and thats the best thing

Reply 9

username47781

20

Original post by Anonymous

Before I continue, there isnt any problems between me and my partner. In my eyes this is a perfect relationship, I couldnt wish for a better one!

But for some reason.. I cant help but be paranoid about it all. Its like everything is almost going too well, that something bad is going to happen soon :frown:

I've sat for hours trying to dig to the bottom of the paranoia, the only thing I can think of which turns my stomach is just the thought of everything going wrong, my partner not loving me anymore and going off with someone else.

Can anyone suggest some advice for me, Its a stupid worry and I know I should just let it go.. but I cant help but think about it every day.

Stop worrying and actually enjoy your relationship, if you keep being paranoid then it will go wrong.

Reply 10

uberteknik

21

Original post by Anonymous

Before I continue, there isnt any problems between me and my partner. In my eyes this is a perfect relationship, I couldnt wish for a better one!

But for some reason.. I cant help but be paranoid about it all. Its like everything is almost going too well, that something bad is going to happen soon :frown:

I've sat for hours trying to dig to the bottom of the paranoia, the only thing I can think of which turns my stomach is just the thought of everything going wrong, my partner not loving me anymore and going off with someone else.

Can anyone suggest some advice for me, Its a stupid worry and I know I should just let it go.. but I cant help but think about it every day.

It's probably more common than most will admit.

I'm no counsellor or psycho-analyst, but it may stem from a mild lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. i,e, Thinking that you are somehow not good enough and it's only a matter of time before you prove it to yourself. It also means you are afraid you will be hurt badly and hence this is a self-protection mechanism.

Low-esteem may have developed in childhood with an over-protective / risk-averse parent dictating to you minutiae in your life. You may have been hurt badly in the past by a previous relationship - perhaps it was abusive but you have not realised? Or, it could be something you witnessed between people you loved (like your parents) and perhaps a tempestuous relationship between them where one denigrated the other or even a marriage break-up?

Being in love is a truly incredible feeling and experience, but to do so, is also to expose oneself to the other with your trust and they must do the same in return.

Advice? Try to push the bad thoughts away when they appear. Be conscious you are doing it. Let your partner know you have placed your trust in their hands. I'm sure they re-assure you constantly, but that can also be very draining for them.

Now go out and enjoy your life with him/her because life is all too short to waste so much energy on fretting over something that you don't have control over. Don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy through that green-eyed monster lurking in us all.

Good luck. :smile:

(edited 8 years ago)

I'm really paranoid about my relationship

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