'Happy' Fathers Day isn't always happy for us all...
I'm sure many can relate to this time of the year...
For many its a happy joyous and nostalgic day that we can enjoy- looking back on our fond childhood memories. People have already posted on social media, and usually its all about how great their Father was or indeed how he's the best Dad in the World- usually, its without a thought for those that have lost their Fathers or have a Dad that doesn't give a damn.
That is okay, I'm not denying anyone the right not to have a selfish moment of reflection for their Fathers. It's just that, I wish more people would actually spare a thought and maybe even mention a thought for those that aren't with us.
See, my Father died when I was a teenager and so I always have a feeling that I never really got to know him, or see him grow old or whatever. Him and my Mother both had strained relationship- he was unfaithful, and so separated and he was barely ever acknowledged or mentioned in our house. Meanwhile, my Dad was drawn away from us by my then Step-Mother who demanded all his attention, to which he then had to spend with his 'new family'. We were long forgotten.
But I do remember the last day I spent with him, he dropped us off home to our mums after a weekend with him- we argued over some silly stuff I had going on, I had a rough childhood.
What comforted me most, was that although he and my mum weren't together there was a sense of stability and comfort when they talked. They were no longer at loggerheads. I truthfully feel he realised he'd made a mistake, he could no longer keep up with the demands of his new wife, frankly becoming sick of her and was nostalgic about my mum. He missed my mum and they finally were on good terms.
I missed the family feeling. Togetherness. My family has never had that feeling.
What's more upsetting is the fact, everyone tells me i look like my Dad, I talk like him, and heck even have his personality. So i can't get away from it, nor do i want too. Its just very emotional.
He died 11 years ago and it still sucks that I don't get to see him. I haven't even got many pictures of him. Just the odd family ones that my mother never chucked out.
I guess what I'm saying is, I think people massively underestimate what they have and are naturally selfish in that they don't think about others.
Understandably, not all Fathers are good role models, that is a different story here, and I feel for those people on this day I really do. But just know I do feel the pain too.
But just know this, at least you got to know your Father (even if he wasn't the greatest)- I have a gaping hole in my heart and feel i never really knew him. My mum kept him at distance because he cheated on her and so many people thought my Dad deserved it. In reflection, he's still my father and I love him irrespectively.
Just thought I would spare a thought for you all
For many its a happy joyous and nostalgic day that we can enjoy- looking back on our fond childhood memories. People have already posted on social media, and usually its all about how great their Father was or indeed how he's the best Dad in the World- usually, its without a thought for those that have lost their Fathers or have a Dad that doesn't give a damn.
That is okay, I'm not denying anyone the right not to have a selfish moment of reflection for their Fathers. It's just that, I wish more people would actually spare a thought and maybe even mention a thought for those that aren't with us.
See, my Father died when I was a teenager and so I always have a feeling that I never really got to know him, or see him grow old or whatever. Him and my Mother both had strained relationship- he was unfaithful, and so separated and he was barely ever acknowledged or mentioned in our house. Meanwhile, my Dad was drawn away from us by my then Step-Mother who demanded all his attention, to which he then had to spend with his 'new family'. We were long forgotten.
But I do remember the last day I spent with him, he dropped us off home to our mums after a weekend with him- we argued over some silly stuff I had going on, I had a rough childhood.
What comforted me most, was that although he and my mum weren't together there was a sense of stability and comfort when they talked. They were no longer at loggerheads. I truthfully feel he realised he'd made a mistake, he could no longer keep up with the demands of his new wife, frankly becoming sick of her and was nostalgic about my mum. He missed my mum and they finally were on good terms.
I missed the family feeling. Togetherness. My family has never had that feeling.
What's more upsetting is the fact, everyone tells me i look like my Dad, I talk like him, and heck even have his personality. So i can't get away from it, nor do i want too. Its just very emotional.
He died 11 years ago and it still sucks that I don't get to see him. I haven't even got many pictures of him. Just the odd family ones that my mother never chucked out.
I guess what I'm saying is, I think people massively underestimate what they have and are naturally selfish in that they don't think about others.
Understandably, not all Fathers are good role models, that is a different story here, and I feel for those people on this day I really do. But just know I do feel the pain too.
But just know this, at least you got to know your Father (even if he wasn't the greatest)- I have a gaping hole in my heart and feel i never really knew him. My mum kept him at distance because he cheated on her and so many people thought my Dad deserved it. In reflection, he's still my father and I love him irrespectively.
Just thought I would spare a thought for you all
Original post by SeanFM
Thank you
Stay strong my friend. We are here for you 
Original post by Anonymous
I guess what I'm saying is, I think people massively underestimate what they have and are naturally selfish in that they don't think about others.
Understandably, not all Fathers are good role models, that is a different story here, and I feel for those people on this day I really do. But just know I do feel the pain too.
But just know this, at least you got to know your Father (even if he wasn't the greatest)- I have a gaping hole in my heart and feel i never really knew him. My mum kept him at distance because he cheated on her and so many people thought my Dad deserved it. In reflection, he's still my father and I love him irrespectively.
Just thought I would spare a thought for you all
I guess what I'm saying is, I think people massively underestimate what they have and are naturally selfish in that they don't think about others.
Understandably, not all Fathers are good role models, that is a different story here, and I feel for those people on this day I really do. But just know I do feel the pain too.
But just know this, at least you got to know your Father (even if he wasn't the greatest)- I have a gaping hole in my heart and feel i never really knew him. My mum kept him at distance because he cheated on her and so many people thought my Dad deserved it. In reflection, he's still my father and I love him irrespectively.
Just thought I would spare a thought for you all
Fathers day is a difficult day for me also so I know how you feel (he died in 2004 when i was 9 )
. But i think that sometimes, not many people seem to be aware of the fact that 1 in 30 people lose a parent before they become an adult, so although i compleletly agree, that for many people they don't really how lucky they are to have had their dads and could be selfish when it comes to fathers day, i think some people are ignorant to the fact that experiencing losing a parent as a child isnt as rare as they think (if that makes sense, like they dont think about it as they dont see it as something that actually happens). I've pretty much always experienced a look of surprise when i mention my dad passing and how old I was, even more so when I tell them that my best friend and some acquaintances lost their parents as kids too.
Thank you so much for posting this. Many people also seem to forget that some parents are abusive towards their children. My father (who is still very much alive) verbally and physically abused me for my entire childhood (along with my mother verbally, physically and emotionally abusing me at the same time, so Mother's Day isn't exactly a walk in the park either). When I told my parents that I'm an atheist, my dad threatened to disown me because I didn't fit in with his "perfect Christian family". I'm actually staying with my parents over this summer (currently in their house right now, and won't be leaving until August at the earliest because that's when my lease for my new flat starts), and just being around them brings back a lot of bad memories, and it has been very difficult.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see that my friends have good relationships with their fathers. But I think that some people do need to learn that not all fathers are the "World's Best Dad".
Even buying the obligatory Father's Day gift can be difficult, because every single card and gift seems to say something along the lines of "I love you, Daddy" and "Best father ever", etc. When, in reality, it is quite the opposite.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see that my friends have good relationships with their fathers. But I think that some people do need to learn that not all fathers are the "World's Best Dad".
Even buying the obligatory Father's Day gift can be difficult, because every single card and gift seems to say something along the lines of "I love you, Daddy" and "Best father ever", etc. When, in reality, it is quite the opposite.
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