Hi everyone, I'm posting this thread up because I'm not sure where else to turn and i'd like to get some feedback from the TSR community. Please feel to advise as you see fit. Thank you so much in advance.
I'm sorry if this is a little long-winded to read but I want to give as much information as possible so the situation is as clear as possible...
So a little background:
I'm going to my final year at univeristy in a London uni. I am a little older than the usual final year student due to me taking two gap years before and during the course of my degree. My mother is a single mother who has raised my sisters and I up for years without any help so I feel a certain level of indebtedness to her on that account. We're West African so my mother tends to have quite 'strong' views when it comes to how things should be done. However given that my sisters and I were not surrounded by people who had a similar mindset to my mother, we tend to be more liberal in our thinking and our view of the world around us.
So the issue:
Two years ago I met this really great guy. My previous relationships before him have not been all that great, a little lackluster and really nothing to write home about. But this guy. I spend days and days with him and I just can not describe how happy I am when we're together. We do argue and have our differences but those times still don't take away from the overall shine of the relationship. I have met his family and I get on so well with them, I adore his mom and keep in touch with her when I'm not visiting.
My mother has never met him and refuses to do so because he is white. That is her only reason. i know how this sounds and i can not describe how heartbreaking it is to hear her racist remarks towards him and just her general abuse. I have cried and cried at the hands of this woman over my boyfriend. She's called me every name under the sun because she believes that I shouldn't be with him because of his race. She refuses to acknowledge how happy he makes me. My sisters have met him and they all love him and think he's wonderful and they have tried to talk sense into her and she refuses to budge. She just goes about her way of trying to get me to break up with him. She once gave me an ultimatum that I should either choose her or leave him. I got tired of the stress and abuse and my boyfriend and I broke up briefly. However, I got back with him again because I got tired of compromising my own happiness for her ignorance.
Fast-forward to this morning:
She found out that I decided to complete an internship for a Big 4 company closer to where he lives. She called me and she was furious and ranting and raving. When I initially applied I didn't think I'd get through and secure the internship so I figure I'd cross that bridge when I got there. Well, turns out that I would have to cross that bridge today. She's not happy at all that I would be living closer to him and away from the family home for the duration of my internship. It's not the fact that I would be away from the family home as I have been to boarding school and my internship in my first year meant I spent 2 months living in Herts for the duration of that internship. This internship is a great opportunity and I'm very much looking forward to it. But I can't get over the fact that she hates someone that she has never met before so strongly due to his race and the fact that I won't dump him on a whim to keep her happy.
Has anyone else every experienced this or a similar situation before? Or do y'all have any advice for me to help manage my relationship with my mother? Regardless of her behaviour I still love her very much and I just would like to make things work and get her to accept him or at least meet him once.