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Would you forgive me if I was your girlfriend ?

Reply 20

Zarek

21

Where's the issue? Tell your bf to ease up..

Reply 21

Tootles

21

Original post by LiquidGold

What the..?! This sounds sooo immature, if you hadnt been in a relationship for 6 years i would guess he was about 16!
It's all about trust, if he cant trust you after 6 years something isnt right.

So does this.

Reply 22

Siberiaan

21

Male sleeps in another bed in a room with other people , no issue here lmao

Reply 23

username2379043

10

Wow wtf? There is literally nothing you have done wrong, your bf is being petty and it looks like he has trust issues (6 years you say?), and he can't even trust you. It's a good thing you found out now then later. Guy or girl, if anyone acts that way I would shut them out, massive red flag. You should honestly find someone else that doesn't act petty and can give you a bit mote trust than that, you deserve it :smile:

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

What upsets me is that he has stayed over with girls numerous times he even went to a house party after clubbing with girls went swimming and stayed over he's done lots of things that I've just let go and not kicked up a fuss. I understand why he would be annoyed in hindsight I would have said no and told the guy to go but it was 5am I was knackered and as I said I told my boyfriend that night plus called him in the morning. The guy messaging me was only asking how I found his country and that was it nothing untoward no flirting. I just feel really like I've done something wrong I've said I'm sorry I've said he can go through my Facebook if he wishes I have nothing to hide I even said I'll get my girl friend to call him and told him to message the guy if he really doesn't believe me.*

Reply 25

username2379043

10

Original post by Anonymous

What upsets me is that he has stayed over with girls numerous times he even went to a house party after clubbing with girls went swimming and stayed over he's done lots of things that I've just let go and not kicked up a fuss. I understand why he would be annoyed in hindsight I would have said no and told the guy to go but it was 5am I was knackered and as I said I told my boyfriend that night plus called him in the morning. The guy messaging me was only asking how I found his country and that was it nothing untoward no flirting. I just feel really like I've done something wrong I've said I'm sorry I've said he can go through my Facebook if he wishes I have nothing to hide I even said I'll get my girl friend to call him and told him to message the guy if he really doesn't believe me.*

You don't need to do anything love, and stop letting him go through your stuff. If that continues, he'll make a habit out of it

Reply 26

Emily.97

21

I'm confused. What is he claiming you've done wrong?

Reply 27

doodle_333

19

to be fair it's pretty weird inviting a random guy you don't know to sleep in your hotel room... if it was a long term friend and you'd discussed it or a group ended up crashing at someone's house after a party and you slept wherever then fine but it's weird booking a hotel room and asking a stranger to sleep there, I can see why he's concerned cos why on earth would you do that if nothing was going on? why would you want some random guy aruond while you're sleeping? also, people you meet on nights out when drunk tend to be hook ups not long term friends, I'm fine with my boyfriend making female friends but I'd be weirded out if he went out of his way to message some random from a night out who he didn't know

you haven't actually done anything so I wouldn't dump you but I'd be pissed off too

Reply 28

jeremy1988

13

As long as the boy didn't sleep in the same bed as you, I don't see what's suspicious about it.

It sounds like your boyfriend is assuming you slept with this guy. Which isn't really a fair assumption.

I think I'd rather assume my girlfriend is innocent and be wrong, than assume she's guilty and be wrong. It would go against my sense of justice to do otherwise.

Of course, I'm also the sort of person that if I found out my girlfriend had slept with another guy and there was clear evidence or she confessed, I'd have to tell her I don't believe in polyamorous relationships and that she's not my girlfriend anymore. I wouldn't necessarily hate her or refuse to be civil, but I wouldn't trust her with anything important anymore.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 29

Anonymous #1

OP

The only reason my friend said stay was that he walked 2 hours with us in the rain to find our hotel he was only 17 (we're 24) and missed his bus and my friend thought as we had 3 single beds it was polite to offer. In hindsight I should have said no and told him to get a taxi or book his own room.*

Reply 30

username1842595

6

Lol. You deserve better.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 31

user382

17

I'd be disappointed you didn't have sex with him. :biggrin:

#monogamyisevil

Reply 32

username2324383

3

You've done nothing wrong. If your boyfriend can't see that then he doesn't deserve you. Dump him n move on unless he realises his mistake and apologises.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 33

Betelgeuse-

19

Original post by Anonymous

I've made a big big mistake that I think will ruin my long term relationship (6 years) I've never ever looked at another man I love my boyfriend to bits. I went away with my friend and we went on a night out some guys were chatting to us and we left. We got extremely lost trying to find our hotel and bumped into one of the boys who showed us the way. By this point it was about 5am we had a triple room (3 single beds) my friend said this boy could stay. I know I should have kicked up a fuss but didn't he knew I had a boyfriend as I made a point of talking about my boyfriend lots. I text my boyfriend that night and said what had happened and I also called him in the morning and explained this boy had slept in the spare bed. When I got back to England he messaged me and asked if we got home ok etc I replied and we had a chat about what sightseeing we did etc and that was it we didn't speak again. My boyfriend asked if we messaged I said yes and I showed him my phone and said he can read whatever he wanted. He's very angry at me and said he wants to break up with me. I can't stop crying I feel like q horrible person I would never ever ever cheat or do anything to hurt my boyfriend. I realise it was stupid not kicking up a fuss about him staying and stupid to message him back I thought I had made a friend and that my boyfriend would be fine with it I've hidden nothing from him. I feel such an awful person and really don't know what to do.*

Your bf's reaction is perfectly understandable. You made an error of judgement which it appears you can see. I personally would have a discussion about it with you and then move on but another lapse in judgement like this and you would be gone.

Reply 34

username1539513

21

Original post by Anonymous

I've made a big big mistake that I think will ruin my long term relationship (6 years) I've never ever looked at another man I love my boyfriend to bits. I went away with my friend and we went on a night out some guys were chatting to us and we left. We got extremely lost trying to find our hotel and bumped into one of the boys who showed us the way. By this point it was about 5am we had a triple room (3 single beds) my friend said this boy could stay. I know I should have kicked up a fuss but didn't he knew I had a boyfriend as I made a point of talking about my boyfriend lots. I text my boyfriend that night and said what had happened and I also called him in the morning and explained this boy had slept in the spare bed. When I got back to England he messaged me and asked if we got home ok etc I replied and we had a chat about what sightseeing we did etc and that was it we didn't speak again. My boyfriend asked if we messaged I said yes and I showed him my phone and said he can read whatever he wanted. He's very angry at me and said he wants to break up with me. I can't stop crying I feel like q horrible person I would never ever ever cheat or do anything to hurt my boyfriend. I realise it was stupid not kicking up a fuss about him staying and stupid to message him back I thought I had made a friend and that my boyfriend would be fine with it I've hidden nothing from him. I feel such an awful person and really don't know what to do.*

You didn't do anything wrong? I don't see what his problem is tbh

Reply 35

Betelgeuse-

19

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you guys. I feel so bad and like crying I wish I hadn't gone on holiday. He said he's angry I didn't tell him as soon as this boy messaged me I said I didn't even think to because if was platonic and k was going to show him ib person. He then said in a liar he said how long were the sentences I couldn't even remember I said a couple of words then one message k said thank you for helping us to find the hotel hope we didn't put you at an inconvenience and he said that's more than a few words your a liar etc etc. I've told him everything nothing happened I love my boyfriend to bits I have never looked at another guy and I'm so hurt that he thinks I have done something*

Oh dear... its not about YOU. If you hadnt have messaged and invited a man back to your room whilst drunk on holiday, he wouldn't be questioning your integrity

Try and put yourself in his shoes instead of crying about yourself

Reply 36

markova21

21

The thing that leaped out was when you said your boyfriend in the past has gone clubbing [without you] and ended up at house parties and stayed over,with girls being there. Could it be maybe in the past he got up to some mischief and now automatically assumes you have done the same? Even if not, if after being in a relationship with you for six years he cannot trust you around other men you need to walk away from him. If there is no trust in your relationship you have no future together. Sorry if that sounds incredibly blunt. You should be able to walk around in your bra and knickers in front of other men and he should feel absolutely confident you would not betray him. You could of course, try and persuade him and things might be fine between you both. For a while. Until something similar happens again. People like that don't change their mindset i'm afraid, just because you want them to.

Reply 37

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Betelgeuse-

Oh dear... its not about YOU. If you hadnt have messaged and invited a man back to your room whilst drunk on holiday, he wouldn't be questioning your integrity

Try and put yourself in his shoes instead of crying about yourself

I wasn't drunk I didn't invite him back my friend said he could stay and I should have said no and I didn't and I 100% understand that was wrong. i can see it from his point completely I'm just hurt that he could think I could possibly do anything ever I went through university for 4 years away from him and didn't once look at a man he is the only person I have eyes for. I know how it looks and I know it was wrong I did have a bad error of judgment I should have told the boy to leave and I didn't j just went to sleep. And I think it's a bothered me that he's done the same quite a few times and I've never said anything as I trust him and know he wouldn't do anything. Only two weeks ago a girl e met on a night out messaged him etc.*

Reply 38

Profesh

20

Have you considered dating someone whose chronological age isn't a multiple of their mental age?

Reply 39

Devify

19

If that is truly all it was then your bf is being way too controlling and jealous.

Not someone I would want to stay to tell you the truth.

Obviously tho, you love him so just give him some space and try talking in a few days, maybe it will give him enough time to calm down and see he's overreacting.

Would you forgive me if I was your girlfriend ?

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