My mum has no respect for me or my study time.
I need to rant so ****ing much right now because I've kept this in for too long and I'm at breaking point.
I am finding it impossible to live at home with my mum. I literally feel like her slave, she has no respect for me at all. I do everything she asks of me and yet it's NEVER enough. No "please", no "thank you" ever, just demands. "Hurry up" "do this and that". As soon as I wake up, before I can even make my breakfast, she tells me HER plan for MY day. This is essentially a bunch of cleaning around the house (she has cleaning OCD) and sending me out on ridiculous errands all day long, even if it's totally unnecessary, like she doesn't give a **** that I need to try and do something with my life for real.
At the moment I'm trying to get a grad job as a trainee accountant and recently started distance learning towards the ACCA qualification, but every time I come to my room to study she will shout my ****ing name and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself. She's literally ruining my life and I cannot keep living this way. I'm so desperate to get the **** out of this house I'm writing everywhere to volunteer because I can't stand being with her all day and being her slave.
Tonight she shouted me while I was studying and obviously I cannot run to her demands and when I did go downstairs, she starts shouting at me, insulting me, SAYING I AM LAZY AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY!!!! all because she had to clean up after my dad's dishes on her own and load the dishwasher for herself for once. What the ****??? I dedicate my ****ing life to her, literally, and she says I do **** all lmao. I'm done as ****.
I went back to my room because I do not appreciate being made to feel worthless by a ****ing liar. Then she cussed me still while I'm out of the room.
I'm so sick of her ****. I've told her SO many times to have some respect for me and my studies but nothing gets through to her because she is right and I am wrong!!!
Moving out is not an option until I get married as I have strict asian parents. Like I had to travel to uni and live at home and she did this same **** during my degree and took away so much study time from me.
((
I am finding it impossible to live at home with my mum. I literally feel like her slave, she has no respect for me at all. I do everything she asks of me and yet it's NEVER enough. No "please", no "thank you" ever, just demands. "Hurry up" "do this and that". As soon as I wake up, before I can even make my breakfast, she tells me HER plan for MY day. This is essentially a bunch of cleaning around the house (she has cleaning OCD) and sending me out on ridiculous errands all day long, even if it's totally unnecessary, like she doesn't give a **** that I need to try and do something with my life for real.
At the moment I'm trying to get a grad job as a trainee accountant and recently started distance learning towards the ACCA qualification, but every time I come to my room to study she will shout my ****ing name and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself. She's literally ruining my life and I cannot keep living this way. I'm so desperate to get the **** out of this house I'm writing everywhere to volunteer because I can't stand being with her all day and being her slave.
Tonight she shouted me while I was studying and obviously I cannot run to her demands and when I did go downstairs, she starts shouting at me, insulting me, SAYING I AM LAZY AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY!!!! all because she had to clean up after my dad's dishes on her own and load the dishwasher for herself for once. What the ****??? I dedicate my ****ing life to her, literally, and she says I do **** all lmao. I'm done as ****.
I went back to my room because I do not appreciate being made to feel worthless by a ****ing liar. Then she cussed me still while I'm out of the room.
I'm so sick of her ****. I've told her SO many times to have some respect for me and my studies but nothing gets through to her because she is right and I am wrong!!!
Moving out is not an option until I get married as I have strict asian parents. Like I had to travel to uni and live at home and she did this same **** during my degree and took away so much study time from me.
((Scroll to see replies
If you're an adult, moving out is always an option.
Original post by 1010marina
If you're an adult, moving out is always an option.
I don't even feel like an adult, she's made me feel like a child for so many years.
I'm 22 for god sake and she still threatens to tell my eldest brother if I've disobeyed her. what the ****?
Go to the library
i feel you 
If they won't let you move out, what's the worst that can happen??? Refuse to do what she tells you. Worst that can happen is she gets sick of you and kicks you out.
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Go to the library
yep tomorrow morning I'm heading straight to the library so that I can actually study without feeling guilty, though she'll most likely scream/look at me in disgust when I'm leaving and tell me not to "take too long" and then send me off to do the supermarket shopping when I get back. honestly I don't mind doing the supermarket shop, that's been my responsibility for years but it's just her tone and attitude, it sickens me. never known anyone so ungrateful. I feel like a slave not her daughter that's the main issue
Original post by tomtjl
Tell her to **** off. That'll sort it.
Bit heavy
Original post by markova21
You can't continue to live your life like this. You're 22. How long is this going to continue for? Until she decides who you can marry? Get a deposit together and rent a flat.
It seems that way
like my cousin is 31, she's a GP, her brother is a similar age, they're both unmarried and still living in their family home. it's just the norm in my family and there are too many negative consequences for me if I move without acceptance
Talk to her. Go to the library
Original post by inhuman
Tell her to **** off or you move out.
You are an adult. You can move out.
Before you do this, I would start looking for a place though. In case they literally kick you out on the spot.
You are an adult. You can move out.
Before you do this, I would start looking for a place though. In case they literally kick you out on the spot.
even one of my brother's who is 28 still lives here bc he has no interest in marriage and he works w my dad
once in an argument with my mum he said he's gonna start looking for flats to move out and it was such a shock to us all and he never did it
like if he can't do it then there's no way I can considering he's been working for years and I don't have a job yet
Original post by saraxh
Talk to her. Go to the library
I've tried and I can't get through to her. She's so stubborn and set in her ways. If I decline something like going out for an errand for her she'll be like "YOU WILL" and threaten me.
I wish more than anything that we could talk as a mother and daughter but we've never had that relationship. We've never said "I love you" to each other or anything. She doesn't show feelings or emotion unless it's something like a death.
I don't understand why she does this. I hate confrontation and try to be civil as much as possible and I try not to piss her off but no matter what she takes her daily anger and frustration out on me.
Original post by WoodyMKC
If they won't let you move out, what's the worst that can happen??? Refuse to do what she tells you. Worst that can happen is she gets sick of you and kicks you out.
If she hasn't kicked out my brother for the numerous times he's brought trouble to our family then she won't kick me out. She could threaten it but she never will.
If things don't go her way she makes my life hell and lies about me to the rest of the family and they always side her over me and it's all so emotionally manipulating
I can't be on bad terms with the rest of my family as well as her
Original post by SIN3
If she hasn't kicked out my brother for the numerous times he's brought trouble to our family then she won't kick me out. She could threaten it but she never will.
If things don't go her way she makes my life hell and lies about me to the rest of the family and they always side her over me and it's all so emotionally manipulating
I can't be on bad terms with the rest of my family as well as her
If things don't go her way she makes my life hell and lies about me to the rest of the family and they always side her over me and it's all so emotionally manipulating
I can't be on bad terms with the rest of my family as well as her
Well then the only choice you have is to tell her you want to move out. Surely, she has to feel guilty if you say that you're sick of living there because she's ruining your life, making you miserable and just genuinely hate being at home? What can she do to stop you from moving out? You're an adult, she can't physically stop you.
Original post by SIN3
I need to rant so ****ing much right now because I've kept this in for too long and I'm at breaking point.
I am finding it impossible to live at home with my mum. I literally feel like her slave, she has no respect for me at all. I do everything she asks of me and yet it's NEVER enough. No "please", no "thank you" ever, just demands. "Hurry up" "do this and that". As soon as I wake up, before I can even make my breakfast, she tells me HER plan for MY day. This is essentially a bunch of cleaning around the house (she has cleaning OCD) and sending me out on ridiculous errands all day long, even if it's totally unnecessary, like she doesn't give a **** that I need to try and do something with my life for real.
At the moment I'm trying to get a grad job as a trainee accountant and recently started distance learning towards the ACCA qualification, but every time I come to my room to study she will shout my ****ing name and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself. She's literally ruining my life and I cannot keep living this way. I'm so desperate to get the **** out of this house I'm writing everywhere to volunteer because I can't stand being with her all day and being her slave.
Tonight she shouted me while I was studying and obviously I cannot run to her demands and when I did go downstairs, she starts shouting at me, insulting me, SAYING I AM LAZY AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY!!!! all because she had to clean up after my dad's dishes on her own and load the dishwasher for herself for once. What the ****??? I dedicate my ****ing life to her, literally, and she says I do **** all lmao. I'm done as ****.
I went back to my room because I do not appreciate being made to feel worthless by a ****ing liar. Then she cussed me still while I'm out of the room.
I'm so sick of her ****. I've told her SO many times to have some respect for me and my studies but nothing gets through to her because she is right and I am wrong!!!
Moving out is not an option until I get married as I have strict asian parents. Like I had to travel to uni and live at home and she did this same **** during my degree and took away so much study time from me.
((
I am finding it impossible to live at home with my mum. I literally feel like her slave, she has no respect for me at all. I do everything she asks of me and yet it's NEVER enough. No "please", no "thank you" ever, just demands. "Hurry up" "do this and that". As soon as I wake up, before I can even make my breakfast, she tells me HER plan for MY day. This is essentially a bunch of cleaning around the house (she has cleaning OCD) and sending me out on ridiculous errands all day long, even if it's totally unnecessary, like she doesn't give a **** that I need to try and do something with my life for real.
At the moment I'm trying to get a grad job as a trainee accountant and recently started distance learning towards the ACCA qualification, but every time I come to my room to study she will shout my ****ing name and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself. She's literally ruining my life and I cannot keep living this way. I'm so desperate to get the **** out of this house I'm writing everywhere to volunteer because I can't stand being with her all day and being her slave.
Tonight she shouted me while I was studying and obviously I cannot run to her demands and when I did go downstairs, she starts shouting at me, insulting me, SAYING I AM LAZY AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY!!!! all because she had to clean up after my dad's dishes on her own and load the dishwasher for herself for once. What the ****??? I dedicate my ****ing life to her, literally, and she says I do **** all lmao. I'm done as ****.
I went back to my room because I do not appreciate being made to feel worthless by a ****ing liar. Then she cussed me still while I'm out of the room.
I'm so sick of her ****. I've told her SO many times to have some respect for me and my studies but nothing gets through to her because she is right and I am wrong!!!
Moving out is not an option until I get married as I have strict asian parents. Like I had to travel to uni and live at home and she did this same **** during my degree and took away so much study time from me.
((I understand exactly how you feel. Maybe she's jealous of you?
I'm going into my second year university and DREAD going home during the holidays (this summer has been a nightmare). I can't wait to get a job and move out, I even have a countdown on my phone for when I will finish uni and move out (700+ days left
).My advice would be for you to apply for a grad job far away from home then tell your parents that it's the only one you were accepted for and you really need the job so you won't have a gap in your CV.
write her a letter/email or talk to other members of your family or even move in with them.
Original post by SIN3
It seems that way like my cousin is 31, she's a GP, her brother is a similar age, they're both unmarried and still living in their family home.
it's just the norm in my family and there are too many negative consequences for me if I move without acceptance
like my cousin is 31, she's a GP, her brother is a similar age, they're both unmarried and still living in their family home. it's just the norm in my family and there are too many negative consequences for me if I move without acceptance
Oh please. I'm from an asian family as well, same story with people always living at their parent's home how "it's just not done in our family" and you know what? It's ********. Just gather up the courage and money to move out. The only "chains" keeping you in your prison of a home are psychological ones.
I moved out, have done since first year of uni and parents were not happy at all about it but meh, my independence is worth more to me than keeping parents happy. Literally, the only thing that will happen if you move out is that you will regain your own independence, you'll be a million times happier and your parents will be annoyed for a bit and then get used to it. You'll see them at weekends/holidays and it'll be fine.
Sorry if this comes across as blunt, I'm just tired of asians always moaning about their lack of independence when there is a very simple solution; they just are too scared to take everyone's advice. Especially cos I've been there and there's no reason why you can't do it if I managed to do it.
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