I hate being a black female-HELP
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What's your hair type? Mine's 3c and I used to feel the exact same thing you're feeling right now but once I've accepted my hair, it has looked fabulous ever since. First things first, stop all heat (blow drying, hair straightening, using a curling iron) then stop using shampoo (this may sound weird but seriously shampoo damages curly hair because the sulphates in the shampoo are basically drying agents and curly hair is naturally dry) Lastly, moisturise constantly. Moisturise moisturise moisturise. And the thing is, it doesnt have to be expensive at all, put oil in your hair before you go to sleep (Coconut, olive or argan oil literally whatever you want) also make sure to wrap it to protect your pillows, when you wake up wash your hair with conditioner only, and you can sometimes deep condition (put conditioner or hair mask for 15 minutes then wash) but you dont need to deep condition everyday. Once your hair is washed put a leave in conditioner and air dry your hair. Make sure to detangle before putting oil, before washing and after washing (dont detangle or touch your hair while its drying so that you dont ruin your curls) and never ever use a brush just use wide toothed combs. Also use an old cotton t shirt instead of a towel to reduce friction and frizz. If you follow this routine, you wont need to spend so much money on products or salon care. You can of course change this routine as much as you like and you should watch curly hair routines on YouTube. Just get to know your hair and believe me you will love it.
Edit: Just remember you can always use cheaper products than the one they use in the videos as long as they work with you so keep experimenting with new products and go natural (no sulphates, no silicones, no paraben)
Edit: Just remember you can always use cheaper products than the one they use in the videos as long as they work with you so keep experimenting with new products and go natural (no sulphates, no silicones, no paraben)
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
(PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
Hating having black hair =/= hating being a black woman.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by blackdiamond97
See. Here's the thread I was responding to.
I saw your thread and its not like i have not been watching those youtube videos.
I have, lots of them but it still does not cut it.
The pain i go through daily having to do all these regimens(what the black YouTubers do) and comb my hair out is all too much for me to handle.
I either feel like dying or completely shaving my hair off.
I dont expect anyone to understand me but people of my own calibre.
Original post by blackdiamond97
Yes.
I can't take it any more.
Original post by Anonymous
I saw your thread and its not like i have not been watching those youtube videos.
I have, lots of them but it still does not cut it.
The pain i go through daily having to do all these regimens(what the black YouTubers do) and comb my hair out is all too much for me to handle.
I either feel like dying or completely shaving my hair off.
I dont expect anyone to understand me but people of my own calibre.
I have, lots of them but it still does not cut it.
The pain i go through daily having to do all these regimens(what the black YouTubers do) and comb my hair out is all too much for me to handle.
I either feel like dying or completely shaving my hair off.
I dont expect anyone to understand me but people of my own calibre.
ok well only god can help you because people are providing advice and you're still all miserable
I have a mixed race gf, I hear her complaints man
Original post by Anonymous
Yes.
I can't take it any more.
I can't take it any more.
Do you know how to care for it or have someone to ask about it? Black hair can be very hard to manage, you definitely can't mess around with it.
just keep your natural hair
Original post by Anonymous
I saw your thread and its not like i have not been watching those youtube videos.
I have, lots of them but it still does not cut it.
The pain i go through daily having to do all these regimens(what the black YouTubers do) and comb my hair out is all too much for me to handle.
I either feel like dying or completely shaving my hair off.
I dont expect anyone to understand me but people of my own calibre.
I have, lots of them but it still does not cut it.
The pain i go through daily having to do all these regimens(what the black YouTubers do) and comb my hair out is all too much for me to handle.
I either feel like dying or completely shaving my hair off.
I dont expect anyone to understand me but people of my own calibre.
would hair type do you have? some of the youtubers with 3a/b hair will obvs have less struggle than the ones with 4C hair
Btw i this website can be useful
www.blackgirllonghair.com
it has a hair section click on that and it also has hair growth tips
Original post by Anonymous
(PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
Just think of the pro:
You can have any style you want, any length you want in any colour you want without having to manipulate your natural hair
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Braids are easily the easiest thing to deal with, I don't know why you're complaining. Once you've got them in, you don't need to do anything.
No one really wants to sit down to have their hair braided for 4+ hours
get a sex change and become a man
Original post by Anonymous
Yes.
I can't take it any more.
I can't take it any more.
Sorry this comment is going to sound mean and probably going to be deleted but you are actually being pathetic and I cringed whilst reading the initial post.
Firstly, I am mixed and have what you call 'black peoples hair' (when really it's just hair) so I know what it's like so I also know you are being overly dramatic and I don't care what you say- it is self hate. Primarily because no one is forcing you to spend money in the salon. JUST WEAR YOUR NATURAL HAIR. You say that your hair is breaking, yes, probably because you keep on wearing weaves which is not good for your hair all the time. I have no problem with weaves/extensions ( I'm actually wearing box braids right now) so I'm not saying don't wear them, because if it's put in right, it's left alone and does protect the hair but if it's such a hardship for you to spend money on it, don't wear them but if you are going to just stop complaining or like i said previously WEAR YOUR NATURAL HAIR.
No one or nothing is stopping you from washing your hair with shampoo conditioner, letting it dry either naturally (which I understand may take long) or with the blow dryer, just blow dry it, without the comb piece and you won't have to worry about dragging your hair out to the point when it breaks more, it doesn't have to be stretched, just rock your texture. You may think 'white girls have it easier' but they don't really it's because they just rock their hair how it is, thy wash it, dry it, simply style it or leave it as it it. I.e: WASH AND GO. I think it's the fact that you just don't like your hair texture, you mentioned something about it being kinky coily so you have to do blah blah. Ahem, you were born with hair like that, that's how it is, just accept it and feel confident with it, there's nothing wrong with it.
On top of all this, 'black hair' grows just as much as any other hair, you said white girls can just grow long hair etc etc. You wanna know why? Because they don't play in it as much, by that I mean, they just leave their hair alone, they don't over brush it etc they just leave it be, how it is with the occasional style. And dreadlocks are a prime example of this, a lot of people with dreads have them just as long (or even longer) than the average hair length of a white girl. Why? Because, when your hair is in dreads it's just left alone to grow. Urgh, Continue like this and you're going to end up like lil kim.
Also, at the end of the day, it's just hair, be grateful you got it, I don't mean to sound patronising but a lot of people suffer from Alopecia or have cancer and have had to do chemotherapy. Also, there are so many black females who have long hair past their shoulders, down their backs so clearly it's not the hair that's the problem it's you. Sorry not Sorry; get a grip and stop the self-hate because you literally said you hate being a black female.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by blackdiamond97
Do you know how to care for it or have someone to ask about it? Black hair can be very hard to manage, you definitely can't mess around with it.
Well, i have been watch youtube vidoes and read some stuff on how to properly take care of my hair.
and yes, you can't mess around with it and i can't afford to experiment either because anything can happen to my hair.
#the struggle is soo real
Original post by cherryred90s
No one really wants to sit down to have their hair braided for 4+ hours
Exactly this.
Original post by cherryred90s
No one really wants to sit down to have their hair braided for 4+ hours
Lol why not talk about 8 hours, those are proper braids. But heck I can deal with it, because I know for the next few months I don't have to think about my hair.
Original post by Anonymous
(PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
THIS IS ABOUT ME-NOT ANY OTHER BLACK FEMALE
Seriously, i hate being a black female.
I am 18 years old.
it has occurred to me that being a black female is expensive because, unlike other races, we have to have protective styles, wash and deep condition our hair on a regular basis otherwise it will be hard to manage or break off.
I just can't take it anymore, including the DONKEY hours i spend in the hair salon EVERY MONTH getting my hair done and paying lots of £££££ to achieve the look/style i want.
It also hurts badly when my hair dresser tries to comb out my natural hair by yanking it with the hair blow dryer.
I used to love how i could rock any hair style. From braids to twists out and from twists out to weaves and wigs because it meant that i could hide my natural kinky coiled hair and not worry about having to look like a clown in it.
But........at this moment in time......
I am feed up, especially when i don't achieve the natural hair look that i want.
I am also sick and tired of hiding my natural hair under wigs, hair extensions, braids and twists outs especially when i know, i want to rock out my natural hair and not rely on these so called "protective styles" that meant to grow your hair.
I feel like white girls have it a lot easier.
Their hair can grow freely past down their shoulders without having to do all that protective styling etc.
I wish my hair could grow just as fast without having to do any special regimen.
I also wish that my parents will let me to completely shave my hair off because its clearly breaking and needs to restart growing from scratch.
With my natural......its just breaking, like yesterday, i tried to comb it and it was shedding badly.
I feel ugly right now and just want to shave it al of, so my hair can "start again".
The problem with that is my parents, they say "you will not only look ugly if you shave it off, but people will mistake you for a male.
Seriously, even my parents don't understand what i am going through in terms of dealing with my natural hair.
I am really suffering from all sorts right now.
I need help
Anyone?
Your 18 so you don't need your parents permission to shave your hair off, just do it then they can't do nothing about it but you can hide it from them for a long time until it all grows back by wearing wigs and head scarfs.
When you get older you will grow to like yourself more and won't always feel this way
White girls are always complaining about their hair too. It looks easy to comb and maintain but it's not. They have to work hard to make it look good and try to untangle it as it gets knotty too as this is what my white friend always tells me then she has the cheek to tell me that all black women should go natural and if she were black she would. That really pisses me off because they will never understand how horrible it is and how different their hair is to ours. They still have problems with their own hair but it's not as bad.
Also remember that white girls wear extensions but the one's that don't need it it's probably damaging their own hair but the ones who have thin hair and do need to wear them it gives them confidence. I see white girls in wig shops trying on and buying wigs too and remember lots of people are losing their own hair through alopecia and from cancer so count yourself lucky you have a choice to wear wigs or extensions, people with serious illnesses don't have that choice.
Shave your hair off and start again or ask the hairdresser first if it's best to do this as you might not have to shave it all off then get your hair braided and keep it in for 5 years maybe your hair will grow very long. It won't happen for everyone but that's how my hair always grew long but you keep it in long for 6 months at a time.
I had really long hair past my shoulders when i was 15 and my evil jealous sister took me to a hairdressers far away, not our local one. And she told them to give me a bob. I was really shy, I hated looking in the mirror and i did not understand that a bob meant cutting it very short. I won't go into the whole story but it never grew back. This was many years ago But i would have been really confident with my own long natural hair. I still have a lot of hair and the hairdressers are always telling me people would kill for my hair but it's not long or thick like it used to be as it never grew back the same and it never grew back long but i do not want the hassle of looking after it and the amount of time it takes to wash and comb it.
But i decided i'm sick of how long it takes me to wash and comb it so i'm going to just get it done at the hairdressers in wet look then it will be easy to wash and comb and i will just wear wigs because i'm not wasting money on expensive hair extensions being attached in the hairdressers.
My white friend also told me years ago about using a shampoo called Pantene but i prefer to use a combination of condioner and shampoo but it's still Pantene. She said it works wonders for getting all the tangles out of her hair or she buys Pantenne detangling shampoo, she told me to get that one too but the normsl one has always worked perfectly so i did'nt need to
This shampoo is brilliant, I thought it was only for white people but it works miracles as the shampoos i used before it would still hurt after i wash and combed my hair but with Pantene it softens my hair so it does'nt hurt after i wash and dry my hair and it does'nt hurt when i comb it. But i still hate the process of washing and combing which is why i am going to get the hairderesser to do it in wet look style not straightened because you still have to look after it but with wet look you don't have to do anything so for you maybe this is better than shaving it all off but you can still wear wigs whenever you want.
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