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Any other first years not enjoying Lancaster?
I've been at Lancaster since September, but haven't enjoyed a minute of it
Had really bad luck with flat mates who are constantly LOUD & already in a clique and haven't met any other people, except a couple to say hi to. I've been trying to stay positive but just end up crying in my room every night which I've never done in my life but can't seem to help it. and so I keep going home as much as I can. Its not like I don't like going out and meeting people just shy at first so found it difficult to make friends when everyone just seemed to instantly group off! Just wondering if anyone else there is going through the same thing?
Had really bad luck with flat mates who are constantly LOUD & already in a clique and haven't met any other people, except a couple to say hi to. I've been trying to stay positive but just end up crying in my room every night which I've never done in my life but can't seem to help it. and so I keep going home as much as I can. Its not like I don't like going out and meeting people just shy at first so found it difficult to make friends when everyone just seemed to instantly group off! Just wondering if anyone else there is going through the same thing?Scroll to see replies
Awh, i read this and felt really sorry for you, im in upper sixth and thats one thing im worried about flatmates who just arent like me im sure as time goes on you will meet more and more people, maybe your a bit homesick aswell?Just focus on your work for a while your friends will just fall into place! Lots of sympathyy, dont cry that makes me sad lol
xxo
im sure as time goes on you will meet more and more people, maybe your a bit homesick aswell?Just focus on your work for a while your friends will just fall into place! Lots of sympathyy, dont cry that makes me sad lol xxo
I'm really sorry to hear this! Lancaster was my insurance; the thing that struck me about my visit was that it all seemed so friendly and sociable. I suppose everyone has different experiences. University can make you feel so isolated and lonely, but you're almost definately not the only person in this situation. Even the people who seem to have the most crazy social lives feel alienated at times.
But it's important you take some action. Ask yourself if you've been as outgoing as you comfortably can be in making new friends. Even if it's not the way you are naturally, it's good to adopt a confident personaliy to meet people, and then as the friendship blossoms you'll get to really know each other. At the same time though, you should not waste 3 years of your life, and all the money on top of that, being miserable. Maybe you've picked the wrong university, or you're just not ready for it yet. There's absolutely no shame in admitting to either of these two things.
But it's important you take some action. Ask yourself if you've been as outgoing as you comfortably can be in making new friends. Even if it's not the way you are naturally, it's good to adopt a confident personaliy to meet people, and then as the friendship blossoms you'll get to really know each other. At the same time though, you should not waste 3 years of your life, and all the money on top of that, being miserable. Maybe you've picked the wrong university, or you're just not ready for it yet. There's absolutely no shame in admitting to either of these two things.
Aww, that's awful to hear!!
What college in Lancaster are you in btw?
I'd say the same as others here, talk it out light-heartedly in the kitchen, then ask a personal tutor what to do, if things slip even worse.
Hope things get better for you. Let us know how you get on
PS: You can guess I'm in Lancaster too lol. I'm a second year!
What college in Lancaster are you in btw?
I'd say the same as others here, talk it out light-heartedly in the kitchen, then ask a personal tutor what to do, if things slip even worse.
Hope things get better for you. Let us know how you get on
PS: You can guess I'm in Lancaster too lol. I'm a second year!
Hi Hannah,
Aww I feel so sorry for you because I was in exactly the same situation at Uni last year. I think with uni/flatmates etc you are either lucky or you are not. There are far more people that feel like this than you think and everyone who can stick it out insists that it gets better
I left my uni and am coming to Lancaster next September as a 2nd year- and Im determined to stay this time!
I know its easy to say and not to do but try to keep your chin up and I hope that things get better for you
xxx
Aww I feel so sorry for you because I was in exactly the same situation at Uni last year. I think with uni/flatmates etc you are either lucky or you are not. There are far more people that feel like this than you think and everyone who can stick it out insists that it gets better
I left my uni and am coming to Lancaster next September as a 2nd year- and Im determined to stay this time!
I know its easy to say and not to do but try to keep your chin up and I hope that things get better for you
xxx
I know that it is a bit cliched, but try and join a society.
During 2nd Term there is always a re-freshers fair where you can go see the stalls of societies in the great hall. Heck, you can even chat to the people running the stall and start a friendship from there!
Also, its never too late to go and meet new people by wondering round. If you live in a quad or a house, go introduce yourself to one of the other kitchens and say hello. I know being shy makes this difficult, but this is the hardest part and afterwards it gets so much easier and better! If anything, you've nothing to lose by it!
During 2nd Term there is always a re-freshers fair where you can go see the stalls of societies in the great hall. Heck, you can even chat to the people running the stall and start a friendship from there!
Also, its never too late to go and meet new people by wondering round. If you live in a quad or a house, go introduce yourself to one of the other kitchens and say hello. I know being shy makes this difficult, but this is the hardest part and afterwards it gets so much easier and better! If anything, you've nothing to lose by it!
Thankyou for the replies and advice, (I'm in Cartmel by the way)
Yeah uni definitley seems like a love it or hate it thing. I hoped I'd love it though, although I did worry that I would end up in a bad flat
I've already tried to make things a bit better, asked to do volunteering and join the societies I was interested in but never got any replies, had personal tutor meetings, and even counselling! flatmates apparently had 3 official warnings yet things seem worse not better, and asked to move off campus with people more my own age but can't because of the accommodation contract, and the list goes on...
I am really homesick, and I have just applied to transfer to universities near to home but I was told that it is rare for people to be accepted into the second year?
I have met a few people who seem nice and are good to chat to but they all seem to stay in groups with their flatmates. Lancaster just reminds me of school where everyone is trying to be popular or whatever, which I'm kind of past that. I get along with chilled out and friendly people more, just can't seem to find any who don't already have a group.
So I'm thinking maybe it's just not the right uni for me, I just don't want to give up incase I don't get accepted anywhere else and end up having to stay for another 2 & 1/2 years.
Xxx
Yeah uni definitley seems like a love it or hate it thing. I hoped I'd love it though, although I did worry that I would end up in a bad flat
I've already tried to make things a bit better, asked to do volunteering and join the societies I was interested in but never got any replies, had personal tutor meetings, and even counselling! flatmates apparently had 3 official warnings yet things seem worse not better, and asked to move off campus with people more my own age but can't because of the accommodation contract, and the list goes on...
I am really homesick, and I have just applied to transfer to universities near to home but I was told that it is rare for people to be accepted into the second year?
I have met a few people who seem nice and are good to chat to but they all seem to stay in groups with their flatmates. Lancaster just reminds me of school where everyone is trying to be popular or whatever, which I'm kind of past that. I get along with chilled out and friendly people more, just can't seem to find any who don't already have a group.
So I'm thinking maybe it's just not the right uni for me, I just don't want to give up incase I don't get accepted anywhere else and end up having to stay for another 2 & 1/2 years.
Xxx
Hey, I'm not going to lie, but I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. I posted a thread right at the start of the first term on my thoughts, and despite my best efforts I've just sort of lost vigour in my attempt to make more friends. I just feel like it's unfair, like I shouldn't have to battle so hard to find common ground with people - and that I too have been drawn the short straw in terms of flatmates haha. They're nice enough, but I'd never get an invite out with them anywhere... and I'm not so sure I'd feel comfortable with them anyway!
What do you mean societies didn't get back to you about joining? As far as I'm aware, you can just turn up a couple of times and pay a fee each time, before you join up properly? That way at least you can figure out if the soc is for you, and if there's anyone nice there. I thought seminars would be the place to make friends, but everyone there still seems to awkward around each other and conversation stops after "had a good weekend?", if it ever reaches there at all!
But anyway, sorry about that little mini ramble - if you ever need someone to speak to feel free, I know it can be hard but advice would be to really stick at it, and make sure you definitely know what you want before making any real decisions.
What do you mean societies didn't get back to you about joining? As far as I'm aware, you can just turn up a couple of times and pay a fee each time, before you join up properly? That way at least you can figure out if the soc is for you, and if there's anyone nice there.
I thought seminars would be the place to make friends, but everyone there still seems to awkward around each other and conversation stops after "had a good weekend?", if it ever reaches there at all!But anyway, sorry about that little mini ramble - if you ever need someone to speak to feel free, I know it can be hard but advice would be to really stick at it, and make sure you definitely know what you want before making any real decisions.
Oh, it really sucks. 
Plus the fact that you're in Cartmel which looks like a very friendly college (I'm in Cartmel too). I guess the opinion that Cartmel is a quiet college is nothing more but a folk belief then.
Plus the fact that you're in Cartmel which looks like a very friendly college (I'm in Cartmel too). I guess the opinion that Cartmel is a quiet college is nothing more but a folk belief then.
Sorry you are having such a hard time. I am hoping to get into Lancaster next year. when you move anywhere new like this there are always a few unlucky people who end up feeling pushed out! It sounds to me like the ideal thing would be to move into another flat and its a real shame that the university is being difficult about it. I would tell your tutor and also maybe talk to some else (student union?). If you cant move then im sure things will get better, it may mean that you have to put in a bit of extra effort to find some people that you will feel comfortable with.
If you have friends in a nearby flat then try going round to theirs more often or inviting them to yours? You might feel out of place at first with any group of people but you sound really nice so im sure they will like spending time with you!
I really hope you sort things out soon and i particularly hope that the university offers you better support than you have had so far!
If you have friends in a nearby flat then try going round to theirs more often or inviting them to yours? You might feel out of place at first with any group of people but you sound really nice so im sure they will like spending time with you!
I really hope you sort things out soon and i particularly hope that the university offers you better support than you have had so far!
charlotte995_2004
Hello
I'm Charlotte and i am in the same position as you at Lancaster uni! I feel i havent met any "real" friends yet and it has made me really upset.
charlotte
I'm Charlotte and i am in the same position as you at Lancaster uni! I feel i havent met any "real" friends yet and it has made me really upset.
charlotte
Dang, that's more people not enjoying the uni than I thought...
We should defs make a gay TSR meeting. 
aliphatic
Hey, I'm not going to lie, but I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. I posted a thread right at the start of the first term on my thoughts, and despite my best efforts I've just sort of lost vigour in my attempt to make more friends. I just feel like it's unfair, like I shouldn't have to battle so hard to find common ground with people - and that I too have been drawn the short straw in terms of flatmates haha. They're nice enough, but I'd never get an invite out with them anywhere... and I'm not so sure I'd feel comfortable with them anyway!
What do you mean societies didn't get back to you about joining? As far as I'm aware, you can just turn up a couple of times and pay a fee each time, before you join up properly? That way at least you can figure out if the soc is for you, and if there's anyone nice there. I thought seminars would be the place to make friends, but everyone there still seems to awkward around each other and conversation stops after "had a good weekend?", if it ever reaches there at all!
But anyway, sorry about that little mini ramble - if you ever need someone to speak to feel free, I know it can be hard but advice would be to really stick at it, and make sure you definitely know what you want before making any real decisions.
What do you mean societies didn't get back to you about joining? As far as I'm aware, you can just turn up a couple of times and pay a fee each time, before you join up properly? That way at least you can figure out if the soc is for you, and if there's anyone nice there.
I thought seminars would be the place to make friends, but everyone there still seems to awkward around each other and conversation stops after "had a good weekend?", if it ever reaches there at all!But anyway, sorry about that little mini ramble - if you ever need someone to speak to feel free, I know it can be hard but advice would be to really stick at it, and make sure you definitely know what you want before making any real decisions.
Hi! thanks I do feel a little guilty ranting about uni but just seem to be stuck now. I feel exactly the same as you about it all, and about the seminars as well. About the societies - I missed the freshers fair thing so I emailed some societies as they'd said 'email us if you want to join after freshers week' and got no replies and by this time I was really down about it all so didn't contact them again. What are your major & minors by the way?
hannah1011
Hi! thanks I do feel a little guilty ranting about uni but just seem to be stuck now. I feel exactly the same as you about it all, and about the seminars as well. About the societies - I missed the freshers fair thing so I emailed some societies as they'd said 'email us if you want to join after freshers week' and got no replies and by this time I was really down about it all so didn't contact them again. What are your major & minors by the way?
There's a refreshers fair soon I heard, maybe try that.
charlotte995_2004
Hello
I'm Charlotte and i am in the same position as you at Lancaster uni! I feel i havent met any "real" friends yet and it has made me really upset.
charlotte
I'm Charlotte and i am in the same position as you at Lancaster uni! I feel i havent met any "real" friends yet and it has made me really upset.
charlotte
Hi Charlotte,
Sorry to hear you feel the same
It does seem a bit like its too late to make friends now after being there this long, but hopefully its not!RabbitCFH
There's a refreshers fair soon I heard, maybe try that.
Ah I see thanks. actually thought I'd missed the second one already, but might give it a go this time around.
mattyjonesuk
Sorry you are having such a hard time. I am hoping to get into Lancaster next year. when you move anywhere new like this there are always a few unlucky people who end up feeling pushed out! It sounds to me like the ideal thing would be to move into another flat and its a real shame that the university is being difficult about it. I would tell your tutor and also maybe talk to some else (student union?). If you cant move then im sure things will get better, it may mean that you have to put in a bit of extra effort to find some people that you will feel comfortable with.
If you have friends in a nearby flat then try going round to theirs more often or inviting them to yours? You might feel out of place at first with any group of people but you sound really nice so im sure they will like spending time with you!
I really hope you sort things out soon and i particularly hope that the university offers you better support than you have had so far!
If you have friends in a nearby flat then try going round to theirs more often or inviting them to yours? You might feel out of place at first with any group of people but you sound really nice so im sure they will like spending time with you!
I really hope you sort things out soon and i particularly hope that the university offers you better support than you have had so far!
Thankyou for the advice
I do need to meet people, just got a bit disheartened with it all. I got in to Lancaster too on Access, and as much as I've just whinged about uni, the Psychology departments quite good I think.hannah1011
Ah I see thanks. actually thought I'd missed the second one already, but might give it a go this time around.
http://lusu.co.uk/freshactivities/refreshersfair/
There you go.
EDIT: Oh dammit, it's 2009...
RabbitCFH
Oh, it really sucks. Plus the fact that you're in Cartmel which looks like a very friendly college (I'm in Cartmel too). I guess the opinion that Cartmel is a quiet college is nothing more but a folk belief then.
Plus the fact that you're in Cartmel which looks like a very friendly college (I'm in Cartmel too). I guess the opinion that Cartmel is a quiet college is nothing more but a folk belief then.Think I've just replied to you but only just getting the hang of this site haha. Maybe Cartmel isn't too bad? I'm just going off the opinion of my block really. But I did choose Cartmel thinking it would be quiet...how wrong I was!
The refreshers fair is a good idea. It probably sounds silly but look out for societies and clubs that you think you will enjoy /meet like-minded people rather than just the really popular ones or things you think you should join. I found I made more friends through volunteering activities than through my college or course. I'd also say that the first term can be a little bit crazy anyway - many people are enjoying their first taste of freedom and act out to a ridiculous extent which can be a bit tedious.
If things really don't settle down for you then perhaps consider transferring after the first year. Whether you are able to will depend on the attitude of the university you would be trying to transfer into - some are reasonably receptive to transfers but they will want to see similarities in the course content and a decent standard of performance in your coursework and exams before they'll agree.
Hope it works out for you
If things really don't settle down for you then perhaps consider transferring after the first year. Whether you are able to will depend on the attitude of the university you would be trying to transfer into - some are reasonably receptive to transfers but they will want to see similarities in the course content and a decent standard of performance in your coursework and exams before they'll agree.
Hope it works out for you
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