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It takes me too long to cum! (male)
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**** less. One of the most common problems is that guys get used to the sensation of fapping to actually finish, which can't be provided by sex unless you happen to be going at turbo-speed.
It's also most likely a psychological thing, particularly as you seem to have a bit of a complex about it. You could try seeing a doctor, or even a sex therapist? I know it's a bit cringey but to be honest if it sorts out the problem it's worth it.
Tbh I've been on the recieving end of this problem and it isn't nice, but if you get a vaguely understanding girlfriend I am sure she would be willing to be patient about it. Unless you just want one night stands, in which case pretend you're drunk I guess
I know it's not ideal, but it can be a tad damaging for the female ego.
Oh and you shouldn't refuse oral or whatever on the grounds that you can't cum from it, not all guys can anyway and it doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable.
It's also most likely a psychological thing, particularly as you seem to have a bit of a complex about it. You could try seeing a doctor, or even a sex therapist? I know it's a bit cringey but to be honest if it sorts out the problem it's worth it.
Tbh I've been on the recieving end of this problem and it isn't nice, but if you get a vaguely understanding girlfriend I am sure she would be willing to be patient about it. Unless you just want one night stands, in which case pretend you're drunk I guess
I know it's not ideal, but it can be a tad damaging for the female ego.Oh and you shouldn't refuse oral or whatever on the grounds that you can't cum from it, not all guys can anyway and it doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable.
Dont have a **** for about 2 weeks before you have sex.
I'm not a troll. So please stop saying that. Obviously the nature of the internet is anonymous so I cannot prove that I am not a troll... :-/
Ok. As many people are saying it is in my mind I am willing to investigate this cause.
I THINK it is to do with the weird position I learnt to masturbate in. I've just gotten used to that position over the years. Do you really think it is mental? Why can't I come by masturbation if my legs are stretched out then? For me the sensation is just less.
I am seriously thinking about seeing my doctor about it.... Thanks...
Is this something I can go to the doctor about even?? It isn't really an illness?
Blueflare
It's all in your mind.
I don't mean that in a critical way, but it is. You've got all these entrenched ideas of what you can and cannot do
I don't mean that in a critical way, but it is. You've got all these entrenched ideas of what you can and cannot do
Ok. As many people are saying it is in my mind I am willing to investigate this cause.
I THINK it is to do with the weird position I learnt to masturbate in. I've just gotten used to that position over the years. Do you really think it is mental? Why can't I come by masturbation if my legs are stretched out then? For me the sensation is just less.
ourlastmemory
...
I am seriously thinking about seeing my doctor about it.... Thanks...
Is this something I can go to the doctor about even?? It isn't really an illness?
Inspironie
I don't know what age I put on my profile. But I'm 23.
yeah, but I'm also addicted to masturbation. I've tried stopping but just cannot...
yeah, but I'm also addicted to masturbation. I've tried stopping but just cannot...
Rubbish, you can stop. You just don't want to enough.
Webbykun
Maybe you masturbate too much and have gotten used to the sensation of your hand? I know that happens sometimes and it means when guys have sex it doesn't pleasure them in the same way as masturbation.
But I cant cum if my legs are not crossed in this weird way... even by masturbation. So the reason is not too much masturbation.
bigfatflanker
Rubbish, you can stop. You just don't want to enough.
Stopping masturbating won't do anything?
I can only cum in this weird ****** up position.
I don't see how stopping jerking off will change that?
^At least this made me chuckle 
I forgot to mention that after the 4 hour sex session I was unable to have sex for a further 5+ days because of the chaffing...
I forgot to mention that after the 4 hour sex session I was unable to have sex for a further 5+ days because of the chaffing...
Inspironie
**I'm a mature student, currently 23 years old** Dunno what I put when I filled out my profile. Changing it now though**
It takes me too long to ejaculate during sex!
During masturbation I can cum quickly when my body is in a "special position"... I CANNOT use this special position during sex as it is too weird and would definitely kill the mood. Also, this position is not for two people, it only makes sense for masturbatory purposes. (I hope you can understand this)
I saw a documentary where some women find it extremely difficult to orgasm. And one woman could only orgasm when her legs were crossed in a special way close to her body. I have a similar thing, but I'm a guy. I cannot cum if my legs are straight either... It is definitely odd.
During sex:
It takes me a *minimum* of 50 mins to cum. My average is around 1 hour 30 mins.
The longest it has taken is 4 hours.... yes 4 hours of pure sex. The girl said it was good, but it was not much fun for me, tbh. My cock was even damaged after that. No joke. I had some chafes. Not permanent, but it hurt at the time.
Some times I cannot cum at all during sex and I just tell the girl it isn't going to happen.
I cannot cum from a blowjob or handjob, not even close. So I had to decline them all of my life.
I cannot cum from doggy style or the woman on top either.
I can ONLY cum from *hard* missionary position sex....
Oh and perhaps the worst thing. I cannot cum at all if I wear a condom
Because of this I stopped having sex with girls. It is too embarrassing and anxiety provoking, as I am afraid if I cannot cum during sex; the girl may think it is her fault or something. I have only had sex with one girl. My sex drive is very high though.
I will start university this September and I think I would want to have sex with a girl. I have not had sex for 5 years now and I'm even masturbating twice per day, everyday of the week.
I don't know what to do. It is quite bad.
Does anyone have any serious advice?
It takes me too long to ejaculate during sex!
During masturbation I can cum quickly when my body is in a "special position"... I CANNOT use this special position during sex as it is too weird and would definitely kill the mood. Also, this position is not for two people, it only makes sense for masturbatory purposes. (I hope you can understand this)
I saw a documentary where some women find it extremely difficult to orgasm. And one woman could only orgasm when her legs were crossed in a special way close to her body. I have a similar thing, but I'm a guy. I cannot cum if my legs are straight either... It is definitely odd.
During sex:
It takes me a *minimum* of 50 mins to cum. My average is around 1 hour 30 mins.
The longest it has taken is 4 hours.... yes 4 hours of pure sex. The girl said it was good, but it was not much fun for me, tbh. My cock was even damaged after that. No joke. I had some chafes. Not permanent, but it hurt at the time.
Some times I cannot cum at all during sex and I just tell the girl it isn't going to happen.
I cannot cum from a blowjob or handjob, not even close. So I had to decline them all of my life.
I cannot cum from doggy style or the woman on top either.
I can ONLY cum from *hard* missionary position sex....
Oh and perhaps the worst thing. I cannot cum at all if I wear a condom
Because of this I stopped having sex with girls. It is too embarrassing and anxiety provoking, as I am afraid if I cannot cum during sex; the girl may think it is her fault or something. I have only had sex with one girl. My sex drive is very high though.
I will start university this September and I think I would want to have sex with a girl. I have not had sex for 5 years now and I'm even masturbating twice per day, everyday of the week.
I don't know what to do. It is quite bad.
Does anyone have any serious advice?
Ok, serious advice.
You're behaviour during sex, stems from your behaviour during masturbation, you're body has gotten FAR too used to orgasming, in your own special way, that there is a mental block whenever you try it any other way.
If you really want to solve this problem, you need to set yourself a strict routine. Stop masturbating for a couple days, then when you are super horny, masturbate, but DO NOT use your special way.
Masturbate in a completely different way. Once you've broken you're mental block while masturbating, move onto sex, again, don't orgasm for a couple of days, then have sex, and you will find yourself orgasming before the 30 minute mark.
However, if you do not follow the routine and break your habit, it will never stop.
SacreBleu
Ok, serious advice.
You're behaviour during sex, stems from your behaviour during masturbation, you're body has gotten FAR too used to orgasming, in your own special way, that there is a mental block whenever you try it any other way.
If you really want to solve this problem, you need to set yourself a strict routine. Stop masturbating for a couple days, then when you are super horny, masturbate, but DO NOT use your special way.
Masturbate in a completely different way. Once you've broken you're mental block while masturbating, move onto sex, again, don't orgasm for a couple of days, then have sex, and you will find yourself orgasming before the 30 minute mark.
However, if you do not follow the routine and break your habit, it will never stop.
You're behaviour during sex, stems from your behaviour during masturbation, you're body has gotten FAR too used to orgasming, in your own special way, that there is a mental block whenever you try it any other way.
If you really want to solve this problem, you need to set yourself a strict routine. Stop masturbating for a couple days, then when you are super horny, masturbate, but DO NOT use your special way.
Masturbate in a completely different way. Once you've broken you're mental block while masturbating, move onto sex, again, don't orgasm for a couple of days, then have sex, and you will find yourself orgasming before the 30 minute mark.
However, if you do not follow the routine and break your habit, it will never stop.
THANK YOU for this. It seems like a good plan.
I'm going to try it starting from today...
SacreBleu
Ok, serious advice.
You're behaviour during sex, stems from your behaviour during masturbation, you're body has gotten FAR too used to orgasming, in your own special way, that there is a mental block whenever you try it any other way.
If you really want to solve this problem, you need to set yourself a strict routine. Stop masturbating for a couple days, then when you are super horny, masturbate, but DO NOT use your special way.
Masturbate in a completely different way. Once you've broken you're mental block while masturbating, move onto sex, again, don't orgasm for a couple of days, then have sex, and you will find yourself orgasming before the 30 minute mark.
However, if you do not follow the routine and break your habit, it will never stop.
You're behaviour during sex, stems from your behaviour during masturbation, you're body has gotten FAR too used to orgasming, in your own special way, that there is a mental block whenever you try it any other way.
If you really want to solve this problem, you need to set yourself a strict routine. Stop masturbating for a couple days, then when you are super horny, masturbate, but DO NOT use your special way.
Masturbate in a completely different way. Once you've broken you're mental block while masturbating, move onto sex, again, don't orgasm for a couple of days, then have sex, and you will find yourself orgasming before the 30 minute mark.
However, if you do not follow the routine and break your habit, it will never stop.
This person's advice is really good. Take it.
Don't masturbate for at least a week and then get yourself extremely horny, without touching yourself, really mentally arouse yourself and don't do your 'special position'.
Don't give in or you'll never kick the habit; that's what it is.
My ex kindof had this problem... He literally had his hands down his trousers at every available moment so he became desensitised and he required lots of friction to finish. It wasn't until he cut down on helping himself that he was able to finish. Why don't you try doing it just once a day, then cut down to every other day and so on. Also how did you come across this odd position in the first place? :s
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