How do you improve your confidence?

I'm 18, about to enter Year 13. I have great friends and I do okay at school but as soon as I'm out of my comfort zone I get SO shy. I mumble, go "er...yeah", seem like I have no personality and I absolutely despise reading in front of a class and presenting things.

What's strange is that I'm really loud in my friendship group and I always speak my mind to people I know really well. I just feel like everyone's staring at me all of the time and I feel myself going red. I really need to get over this but I don't know how to. I also feel inadequate to those around me which I KNOW isn't true yet I still feel inferior. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks for your time :smile:

I'm considering teaching because of the holidays. But obviously not if I can't speak in front of people I don't know :mad:

Reply 1

rajandkwameali

2

Don't give a crap what other people think. Accept your strong points and build on them.

Reply 2

ScrubZ

12

The best way is practice. Talk to random people you've never met before and you'll realise people aren't scary at all (well maybe a few are =p) but the majority of people will be friendly and this really helps build confidence. Same with speaking in front of people and presentations, the best way is to practice. You could practice in front of family members first, and the more presentations you do the better you'll become. Experience is the key. The only reason you're so comfortable talking to friends is because you've done so for many years.

Reply 3

_Becccca

You've probably heard this over and over, like I have, but you really just have to push yourself into situations you just want to run away from. I'm also shy, but I really have improved quite a bit from 2 years ago. It gets easier, just push yourself.

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Fake it till you make it.

Reply 6

micky022

16

Think about what you're going to do and do it. I used to be shy.

Reply 7

mistermeowingtons

15

I think that one of the best ways to improve your confidence is to jump into unfamiliar situations; do new things and meet new people. You'll get used to interacting with strangers and over time you will overcome any anxiety about it. At University you'll have lots of opportunity to do this.

Reply 8

Ronove

18

Do something that you don't think you can handle. Not anything you think you'll be traumatised by (cos it can be hit and miss and some scary situations are still terrifying, as much of a leap as they are) but just something different. Or start something new like get some piano lessons or something (that's what I'd do) and see how unscary meeting and working with a new person can be.

I used to be terrified of catching the bus/train by myself in case I got lost but I simply had to go to London and then Cambridge on my own (and do an open day and interview at UCL and then check in at a Cambridge college, stay overnight and do an exam and two interviews and then stay overnight again). Scared the **** out of me but once I was on my way I was on my way and there wasn't much I could do but get on with it. In fact I'd actually flown to Germany and back on my own before that which was another big step, one which I think enabled me to do the London/Cambridge trip without fainting at the train station.

Getting out of my uni house and having some music lessons made me feel more like my own person again as well instead of another uni student milling about with everyone else. Oh another thing, when I was 16 I did a couple of LAMDA exams and I'd always been terrified of acting in front of my peers. Acting solo in front of a teacher and a few students and then an examiner was a massive experience for me. You can ofc pretend to be someone else in acting but I also did Grade 6 Verse and Prose where it was just me, reading to an examiner in a really animated fashion and it felt great, no excessive nerves! That stuff really helped my confidence. :smile:

Reply 9

rawwwwr!

9

You have to learn to not give a **** about anything/anyone. Life's easier this way, trust me.

Reply 10

elixira

14

Teaching is not the career for someone lacking confidence; I'm pretty confident but during my teaching placement I was utterly timid, it sucked.

Anyway yeah, fake it 'til you make it is pretty sound advice. Including the whole theory that your body language actually impacts your state of mind, rather than vice versa; so hold yourself like a confident person (it helps if you visualise a specific person) and you may very well begin to feel like that confident person.

Reply 11

Ronove

18

Oh also, if you find you really can't think your way out of the anxiety and throwing yourself into some new situations doesn't help, perhaps seeing a doctor might be an idea? There are things that can tone down the anxiety and let you get on with stuff, and then once you've built the confidence up by achieving things without the anxiety, you can come off the stuff and find that it's not a problem anymore? :smile:

Reply 12

username358506

20

Step out of your comfort zone.

Pretend.

practice face to the mirro

Reply 15

לילה

9

lovingthealien

I'm 18, about to enter Year 13. I have great friends and I do okay at school but as soon as I'm out of my comfort zone I get SO shy. I mumble, go "er...yeah", seem like I have no personality and I absolutely despise reading in front of a class and presenting things.

What's strange is that I'm really loud in my friendship group and I always speak my mind to people I know really well. I just feel like everyone's staring at me all of the time and I feel myself going red. I really need to get over this but I don't know how to. I also feel inadequate to those around me which I KNOW isn't true yet I still feel inferior. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks for your time :smile:

I'm considering teaching because of the holidays. But obviously not if I can't speak in front of people I don't know :mad:

OP, many people have the same problem as you do. I think you just need to open up to people. They are not so scary :smile:

You can for example smile to random people on the street, most of them will smile back and it's a really nice feeling. It's seems pretty weird but it's a good start... also, don't care so much about other people's opinion. They stare at you, so what? :woo:

Reply 16

Land-based mammal

1

God willing, I think you'll eventually grow out of it.

Reply 17

lovely_me

18

To be honest OP: I am quite confident (well some would say arrogant :p:

) and I hate speaking in front of others too; for example being asked to speak in an assembly is my idea of hell. It's a horrible feeling being nervous and I go red easily.

So I think it's just in some people's natures. If you're not a great public speaker you're not. Deal with it :top:

How do you improve your confidence?

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