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British people are not friendly?
Hi all!
I am a norwegian student (so forgive my bad english - I'm working on it!), and I recently started to study here in England, near London.
Before I came here I had the impression that british people were some of the most friendly and polite people in the world. I have never been in the Uk before I started to study here, but I got these impressions from tv, movies, newspapers, other peoples experiences and so on. It's a general impression where I come from that british people are very friendly.
The first month I was here I was really amazed of how kind, helpful and polite the english people were. Everyone seemed to be in such a good mood, and when I asked for help everyone were so kind and patient. I was really looking forward to study here!
However, now that I started university, my impression has slightly changed. I find it really hard to get to know people in my class. Nobody ever try to speak to me or get to know me. If I try to talk to them of course they will reply, but they will not try to talk to me. I can sit all alone at a table while 3-4 brits are having a conversation above my head. It's like all the british students have isolated themselves inside their own big bubble, and they do not want to let anyone else inside.
I do not understand why...
We are about 35 students in my class. I think 11 of us are from other countries, and everyone share the same impression: brits are cold and hard to get to know! And if I meet a friendly brit it turns out he/she isn't british afterall, but come from another country.
I have always heard from foreigners that Norwegians are cold and unfriendly, that's why I find all this so odd. I do not want to offend anyone, I only want to try and understand why it's like this.
What do you think?
I am a norwegian student (so forgive my bad english - I'm working on it!), and I recently started to study here in England, near London.
Before I came here I had the impression that british people were some of the most friendly and polite people in the world. I have never been in the Uk before I started to study here, but I got these impressions from tv, movies, newspapers, other peoples experiences and so on. It's a general impression where I come from that british people are very friendly.
The first month I was here I was really amazed of how kind, helpful and polite the english people were. Everyone seemed to be in such a good mood, and when I asked for help everyone were so kind and patient. I was really looking forward to study here!
However, now that I started university, my impression has slightly changed. I find it really hard to get to know people in my class. Nobody ever try to speak to me or get to know me. If I try to talk to them of course they will reply, but they will not try to talk to me. I can sit all alone at a table while 3-4 brits are having a conversation above my head. It's like all the british students have isolated themselves inside their own big bubble, and they do not want to let anyone else inside.
I do not understand why...
We are about 35 students in my class. I think 11 of us are from other countries, and everyone share the same impression: brits are cold and hard to get to know! And if I meet a friendly brit it turns out he/she isn't british afterall, but come from another country.
I have always heard from foreigners that Norwegians are cold and unfriendly, that's why I find all this so odd. I do not want to offend anyone, I only want to try and understand why it's like this.
What do you think?
Scroll to see replies
It's a shame you feel that way 
I can only speak for myself, and I truly have no judgement on norwegian people - I've certainly never heard anyone call them cold or unfriendly. I hope things improve for you. Just try your best to make conversation with everyone, and carry on being kind and friendly 
I can only speak for myself, and I truly have no judgement on norwegian people - I've certainly never heard anyone call them cold or unfriendly. I hope things improve for you. Just try your best to make conversation with everyone, and carry on being kind and friendly British people probably segregate themselves off because thats what a lot of foreign groups do when they come to Britain then complain about stuff like racism.
Original post by Jacktri
Original post by Jacktri
we don't like talking to people with funny accents because we can't understand what they're saying so end up just assuming we heard something else and replying with a completely stupid answer and it is annoying having to say "what?" about 3 times every time they say something
This
But even if you have a very hard to understand accent, i will still talk to you.
I was talking to a british guy the other day on skype and i just can not understand his accent, its not the londoner type of accent too. So i kept asking what all the time.
wow thats quite odd, I actually love meeting and talking to people from other countries, and will go out my way to.
My housemates from Brunei, and its his first time in the UK, and learning about his culture is incredible. Me and my other housemate just ended up talking to him until 1 in the morning.
I met an American guy while doing the laundry and he was really cool as well, we were just goingt through all the stereotypes of each culture and just dimissing them, and he was a great laugh, he had cool jokes, and turns out he likes the same bands as me. It's pretty aesome.
He told me he was apprehensive about coming over, because he had a friend who came here a few years ago during the height of the Iraq war and people were awful to her, actually spitting at her and calling her a stupid yank. I found that difficult to believe, yes there are nasty people in the UK, but I thought at least the majority had common decency.
Guess it depends on the person though
My housemates from Brunei, and its his first time in the UK, and learning about his culture is incredible. Me and my other housemate just ended up talking to him until 1 in the morning.
I met an American guy while doing the laundry and he was really cool as well, we were just goingt through all the stereotypes of each culture and just dimissing them, and he was a great laugh, he had cool jokes, and turns out he likes the same bands as me. It's pretty aesome.
He told me he was apprehensive about coming over, because he had a friend who came here a few years ago during the height of the Iraq war and people were awful to her, actually spitting at her and calling her a stupid yank. I found that difficult to believe, yes there are nasty people in the UK, but I thought at least the majority had common decency.
Guess it depends on the person though
Scottish people are friendly
Thanks for the replies.
I have always wanted to come and work in England with my boyfriend. I am an illustrator and my boyfriend works with computer games (he is italian). I don't dare to tell it loud though, because since the UK is already accepting a lot of foreigners into their country, I'm a bit worried I'll get a "you're stealing our jobs!" attitude. Especially after seeing how my class is behaving towards us.... Or maybe I'm wrong.
Perhaps we've just been unlucky with our classmates, or maybe they will change after a while. I hope so. I'll keep trying.
Jacktri and Kristinaalovesu: I can understand what you mean about not understanding accents. But how can you know this if you haven't even tried to talk to us? You see, I feel my class doesn't even try to contact us.
It was obligatory to take an english test before we started the university. Most of my norwegian classmates didn't need to take further english classes, but some of us did. Me included. I know my grammar and written english sucks, but I don't think I talk that strange and understandable? Well, I don't know. Has anyone ever talked to a norwegian here?
I have always wanted to come and work in England with my boyfriend. I am an illustrator and my boyfriend works with computer games (he is italian). I don't dare to tell it loud though, because since the UK is already accepting a lot of foreigners into their country, I'm a bit worried I'll get a "you're stealing our jobs!" attitude. Especially after seeing how my class is behaving towards us.... Or maybe I'm wrong.
Perhaps we've just been unlucky with our classmates, or maybe they will change after a while. I hope so. I'll keep trying.
Jacktri and Kristinaalovesu: I can understand what you mean about not understanding accents. But how can you know this if you haven't even tried to talk to us? You see, I feel my class doesn't even try to contact us.
It was obligatory to take an english test before we started the university. Most of my norwegian classmates didn't need to take further english classes, but some of us did. Me included. I know my grammar and written english sucks, but I don't think I talk that strange and understandable? Well, I don't know. Has anyone ever talked to a norwegian here?
Original post by Stille
... brits are cold and hard to get to know...
I do not like people who are too interested in me and ask many questions, so this would be an advantage for me. I like them.
Anyway, I think that the impression may be wrong. Most of the British people I have been communicating with here on TSR were great.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Stille
But how can you know this if you haven't even tried to talk to us? You see, I feel my class doesn't even try to contact us.
Why don't you try to contact them?
People can sense if you're 'cool' (I'd use the word 'normal' but people won't see it like I do) or not. It's a big hierarchy. You've no idea how ingrained it is.
No, British people are not friendly. If they are, it's certainly not because they're British.
No, British people are not friendly. If they are, it's certainly not because they're British.
You are right, I shouldn't judge the whole England based upon my class. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, that was not my intention. I know I wrote "British people" in the title, but I have only been in the area around London, so that was a bad choice of words. Sorry about that.
I'm basically just trying to understand how my class thinks, and what I can do to get to know any of them better. I don't want to have only international friends, I'd like to know some english people too!
And perhaps I didn't make myself clear: I do try to start conversations. Even if I am shy, I don't sit around and wait for people to come and talk to me (it would make me feel more welcome though). One of my friends even suggested to have a class get-together, but the replies were not the most enthusiastic.... oh well... Maybe we just got a bad start.
I'm basically just trying to understand how my class thinks, and what I can do to get to know any of them better. I don't want to have only international friends, I'd like to know some english people too!
And perhaps I didn't make myself clear: I do try to start conversations. Even if I am shy, I don't sit around and wait for people to come and talk to me (it would make me feel more welcome though). One of my friends even suggested to have a class get-together, but the replies were not the most enthusiastic.... oh well... Maybe we just got a bad start.
Don't fall for stereotypes and generalisations and other **** like that.
Original post by Stille
Has anyone ever talked to a norwegian here?
I used to live there.
The local Norwegians (particularly the younger generation) generally spoke rather good English, certainly better than my Norwegian.
I would doubt that the isolation is caused by communication issues.
More likely it's just because people in general tend to form into tight groups, and many Brits are quite happy to just stick with the little group they've developed and not really engage anyone else.
I'd just suggest trying to "infiltrate" it, so to speak, or just try and make friends amongst other people.
They may well warm to you over time too.
Either way I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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