I feel so out of place in my French class. I have anxiety but I try not to let it hinder my ability to converse in class. I have a decent accent for a British student, but nobody wants to talk to me. my uni has a posh stereotype and there is (sadly, but truly) a clique culture. they were in the same area for first year, some are housemates now, and they don't appear to want to talk to me because I said that I don't drink to get blackout drunk. they ignored me after I said it. I prefer live music and cocktail bars, just not getting too drunk. someone said I 'put in lots of effort' because I'm speaking in eng not French. I didn't au pair or do a gap year. most of them admitted they're just doing it for the uni experience, which I'm sure is great for them, but I'm here for the degree as a first-gen. all I want is for my parents to see me holding a certificate with a first and wearing a grad gown, but to do that I feel like I can't make any friends. I'm also vegan so I don't feel like I'm welcome in the French society... (that's fine though haha, it's nbd)
I have made one friend, but she's not in my classes this year. I do still see her but it's not the same as talking in class. it's like a lottery in hoping that there will be one or two people that will actually talk to you and not ignore you, and my friend said the same. i'm just glad there are no group projects, as I know that the work would all get put onto me (and I'd refuse it). it's a shame because I get the impression that it's like high school where they're probably nicer on their own than in a group, except we're 19/20/21 and not 12. it's also a shame because my other subject (I do joint hons) is just like a small community and is super lovely. I just feel like because I'm not fitting the mould of everyone else that all of a sudden I don't deserve to talk to anyone. how are you supposed to enjoy a class based on language learning and conversation when very few around you seem to care about it?
a disclaimer; I am not saying that every French student at my uni is like this, but it is an overwhelming majority of them and it is rather upsetting when you just want to be accepted in the class for who you are and not appear as an outcast purely because you have different intentions for your degree.